


Red vs Blue Book of One Shots

by Psychgus



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 01:55:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 66
Words: 46,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4810499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychgus/pseuds/Psychgus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(This is a book that I have made originally on Wattpad, but have decided to move over here so more people may enjoy it.)<br/>Although our favorite group of idiots may not know how to solve life's problems, they do know how to fulfill one thing: Laughter beyond your wildest imagines.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Freckles

"We're doomed."

"Tucker-"

"Doomed"

"I swear to-"

"Doooooooomed." Tucker complained, currently ranting on about the new...  
'Addition to the blue team', as Wash stated.

"Addition?! The thing's a hundred-ton battle machine with lasers for hands! And better yet? It made Caboose, the guy who was dropped on his head as a child, the leader!"

Wash listened to Tucker's little speech, but knew that he was overreacting slightly.

"First of all Tucker, it doesn't have lasers. Second, it's probably less that a hundred tons. Third... Well, I'll have to find out a way to talk to Caboose about putting me back as captain...  
Without that giant robot killing me."

"I thought it was an 'Addition'." Tucker mocked, impersonating Wash. It was actually good, although the Freelancer would never admit that he sounded so bossy and uptight.

"Tucker?"

"Yes, Ex-Captain?"

"Shut the hell up."

~~~~

While Freckles was still on patrol around the canyon, Tucker and Wash decided to walk over to Red base, seeing as they didn't have any giant robot problems. On the walk there, Wash and Tucker planned on how to talk to Caboose about his pet, and how it can't replace Church.

At the mention of Church, Tucker flinched. Wash thought it was just his eyes, but when he said it again, he knew something was wrong.

"Tucker, I understand you miss Church..."

"I don't."

Wash tried to ignore his now anger-filled state.

"I know that he left all of us, but that doesn't make him a bad person."

"Yeah," replied Tucker sarcastically, "Instead it's his wonderful personality and charming speeches."

"Don't sass me," Wash warns, "I know you're going through a hard time, but don't vent out on others. That's the reason we have Freckles trying to kill us."

"So it's my fault?"

Wash stuttered, realizing that he just blamed Tucker, "N-No, I mean-... Look. It's not your fault, but if you were a little nicer about Church leaving, maybe Caboose-"

"I could care less. Caboose needs to grow up. I know that you keep saying I'm his role model, but I'm not! He's an Idiot either way!" Tucker snapped.

"Look here, Private, I am trying to be as nice as I can about this situation, but if you continue to yell and have an outrage, you will miss the point."

"There is no point." He stated coldly. He just left the sentence there, like a knife stabbed in Wash's chest and un-removed.

Before Wash could question Tucker's dark words, he sprinted ahead of him to the Red base. The freelancer sighed deeply, and ran to catch up to him. He was more fit than anyone in this canyon, besides Caboose of course, but quickly catches up to the Aqua Spartan.

"Tucker-" Wash grabbed his friend's wrist and stopped, trying to make Tucker stop running. He instead was now tugging his arm away from Wash, but failing to do so.

"Tucker," Wash stated again, "You can't keep running away. Just- talk to me."

At that note, this is where Tucker hit his breaking point. He ripped his arm away from Wash, and almost spoke in a growl.

"I don't care. It's all the same with you Freelancers. You'll be buddy-buddy with us, flight alongside us, and then you'll turn into a complete asshole."

"I am nothing like Church, Carolina or Tex, I am just trying to help you while Church is gone-"

"If that's the only reason you're here dealing with us, then leave!" Tucker boomed, a deadly fire in his eyes. But the flame quickly turned blue as tears came close to the surface.

"Leave... Just like Church did..."

The previously stabbed knife only dug in further.

"I... Tucker, I didn't mean-"

"Don't." He stated, the guilt setting in even more.

Wash didn't know to do. He was never good at understanding people's problems, he was a solider instead. So Wash did what any totally-manly guy would do.

He wrapped his arms around Tucker's shoulders and hugged him tight. The emotionally unstable space marine stood there, defeated and lost. He took a deep breath, and Wash realized that this actually helped.

"Wash-"

"Alert. In team guidelines, any in-work relationship is punishable by death." Freckles boomed, completely ruining their manly moment.

"Wh-What?!" Wash stuttered, his face absolutely red under his helmet.

"We aren't- I'm not- He's just-"

"WAIT, THEY'RE FINALLY DATING?" A Hawaiian voice questioned from red base.

"Aw, damn it, now I owe you twenty food rations..." A disappointed maroon solider stated.

"You bet on us?!" Tucker squeaked, getting more embarrassed by the second.

"Wait, us? We're not dating yet!" Wash replied.

"Yet?" Said both Grif and Simmons.

"..."

"..."

"I bet Tucker on confessing his feelings before Wash."

"Oh, you're so on!"


	2. Adorkable

"God damn it! Son of a- Mother-"

Grif couldn't sleep due to Simmon's loud cursing. I mean yeah, the guy gets pissed, but he doesn't get that mad when Grif isn't there. Grif smirked knowing how adorable it was that Simmon's kept his rage for him.

Shut up it's not adorable.

...

Okay maybe it is but the adorkable is now cursing and yelling even louder.

Grif sighed dramatically as he literally rolled out of bed, and stumbled out of his room. He was blessed with the sight of Simmons hugging his knees while spinning around on a Rollie chair.

Awww.

Shut up.

"You okay there Cyborg?" Grif asked nonchalantly.

"Freaking great, lazy ass." He snapped, hugging his knees tighter.

Okay, something was seriously wrong with the adorkable, angered nerd.

"What's wrong-"

"I can't get past this goddamn level, that's what." He interrupted, already knowing what I was going to ask. I raised an eyebrow, knowing that this type of failure never happened to Simmons.

"What game?"

"It's..." He hesitated, "... Nothing. Sorry for yelling. I'm going to sleep now, Sarge probably-"

"What game?" Grif asked again, actually being curious of what Simmons was so sensitive about.

"... Alien Isolation."

Oh.

Ohhhh.

I tried my best not to melt when Simmons looked so sad and disappointed. He was serious but when you do that to the least serious man here- he won't care. But hey, I care about Simmons, so I won't laugh.

Well, that sounded straight.

"Don't laugh. It's scary as hell, okay?!" Simmons whined. I chuckled, but not at him.

"Want help?"

"No, I'm completing this game myself."

"Can I sit next to you then?"

Bad idea. Bad freaking idea.

~~~~~

"HOLY SHIT! RUN!"

"I'M TRYING, STOP YELLING!"

"IT'S RIGHT THERE!"

"WHERE?!"

"..."

"..."

"AHHHHHHH!" They both screeched. Grif was holding onto Simmons for dear life at this point. He didn't care if Donut walked in and his Gaydar went off- this was scary as hell. Hell is nothing compared to this!

"I... Oh my god, look..." Simmons said panting.

I looked to the screen, and he reached the checkpoint. I haven't smiled like this in years.

"I FREAKING LOVE YOU!" Simmons yelled, and then blushed a deep red.

"I-I-I mean- I love that- that you h-helped and th-thank you-"

"Simmons?"

"... Y-Yes?"

"You're freaking adorkable."

~~~~~

Donut was writing in his diary, when he suddenly heard the screaming go silent. Ugh, did they finally stop? Donut didn't know why those two got so excited over things like that. Video Games and all- My Little Pony was were it's at.

(*Whispers* Nightmare moon I love you)

Donut sighed, figuring he should probably check on the two. He put up his diary, and tip-toed over to the couch to find-

An adorable sight

Grif was laid back in a lazy fashion, his right arm stretching across the top of the couch, and his feet propped up on the coffee table. Simmons' head was in Grif's lap, hugging his waist and cuddling it.

Donut smiled widely, practically squealing with excitement.

"Hehe, you're both little dorks." He whispered mostly to himself, before silently prancing to his room to write in his diary about this special moment.

~~~~~6 months later~~~~~

"They wouldn't hide that... Would they?" Doc asked the group. He was a bit concerned, but hopeful at the same time.

Luckily, Donut was walking by and heard Doc's question. He peeked through the door.

"Who wouldn't hide what?" He asked cheerily.

"Oh! Donut!" Bitters and Jensen said in unison, "Do you know if Captain Grif and Simmons are dating?"

Donut coughed, seeming a bit surprised by the question.

"Um... Why do you want to know?"

"Because they found something called a 'Fanfiction' in your diary about themselves, and they're looking to kill you."


	3. Pillow Forts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING: Spoilers for the following shows: Doctor Who (11th Doc), Sherlock Season 3, Ep 3, and Sword Art online.*

"No."

"Pleaseeee."

"No."

"I feel like we start off all our conversations with you saying no."

"Yes."

"Ha, gotcha!"

"There was nothing to get."

"Yes, actually, there was." Tucker mocked, using his best 'Wash don't take no crap' voice.

"... Do I really sound like that?"

"Yup. But I love it.~"

"The answer is still no."

Tucker sighed dramatically, doing the whole acting of throwing your body back and putting the back your hand to your forehead.

Tucker, however, stumbled, and Wash had to catch him tango style.

The second Wash looked down at Tucker, the Aqua-obsessed Private actually winked and did the barely seductive cheetah growl.

Wash deadpanned and dropped him on his back instantly.

"Ow."

"You deserved it."

"Still," Tucker said, amazingly jumping back on his feet after such a 'painful' fall, "Can we make a pillow fort?"

Wash could swear he saw him bat his eyelashes.

"Why is this so important to you?"

"Why is this not? Who is it not important to?"

"It's just important to you, Tucker."

The private gave him a look, and then yelled at the top of his lungs:

"HEY DONUT?"

Donut popped out of his room.

"Yeah?"

"What's the best thing ever?"

"... Um... Are you sure you want me to answer that because let me tell you-"

"Ugh! No! I mean for dates!"

"A pillow fort. Why?"

Tucker jerked his thumb back at Wash behind him. He simply rolled his eyes.

"... Wash, have you even made one?" Donut asked.

"No. And I don't plan on it."

Grif popped out of his door.

"The hell did you just say."

Simmons too.

"Even I have more of a life than you now!"

~~~~~

Once again, Wash was overcome by peer pressure.

"Why did I agree to this?"

"Because you love me and would do anything to make me happy." Tucker replied, not missing a beat.

"Is it worth it though?"

"Absolutely! C'mon, let's watch some movies!"

"Who's cheesy now?" Wash smirked.

"Shut up. You can pick."

~~~~~

At the end of the Sherlock episode, the 'Did you miss me' chants began.

"... No... Wash whispered, knowing who sent out that recording.

"... Yes..." Tucker said a bit louder, hoping he was right with his assumptions.

"No no no no no-"

And his face appeared on screen.

"YES! JIM MY LOVE, I MISSED YOU!" Tucker hugged the screen.

"... He's the new Matt Smith for me. Stealing my Amy Pond..."

"Who's Amy Pond?"

~~~~~

"Wait, why does that grave have Rory's name on- ... No..."

Wash grinned beyond belief. He put a hand over his mouth. He wasn't going to spoil Doctor Who for Tucker.

"Wash... Don't tell me he really-"

Aaaaaand Weeping angel.

"NO! AMY, DON'T-"

There she goes.

"NOOOOOOOOO..."

Tucker pressed the pillow to his face, screaming into it. Wash sighed happily and patted his shoulder for comfort.

~~~~~

"DEAN JUST KISS HIM FOR GOD'S SAKE."

"HE'S A FREAKING ANGEL, LITERALLY."

"JUST KISS FOR THE LOVE OF CHUCK."

"EVEN SARGE ADMITS MORE FEELINGS THAN YOU."

"CHARLIE ISN'T AS GAY AS YOU TWO."

"BOBBY IS PROBABLY  
ANNOYED AS HELL WATCHING THIS FROM HEAVEN."

"SAM WOULD'VE GOTTEN GABE BACK FROM THE TIME IT TAKES FOR YOU TO FIGURE OUT YOUR FEELINGS."

"... Ooh, nice one."

~~~~~

"Asuna isn't dead... Right?"

~~~~~

"SEID IHR DAS ESSEN? NEIN, WIR SIND DER JÄGER!"

~~~~~

Wash cried of laughter when Phyrra danced with her new 'date' in RWBY, and looked over to Tucker to see his reaction.

Tucker was smiling him his sleep, slightly drooling on the pillow in front of him. Wash smiled, shutting down the show, and cuddled up next to him.

Yep, Pillow forts are important.


	4. You've got quite an imagination

"So, Doc, what's your NOTP?" Donut curiously asked as the two were setting up weapons. However, it was mostly Donut, due to Doc refusing to touch them.

"Uh... I don't know what that is."

"Well... For some people, it's like, the worst couple imaginable. But the N can also stand for Nonfiction. So who's the best couple out of this whole base?"

"Uhh... No one is dating anyone?"

"No! I mean if they were together. For instance, Yang and Blake in Rugby... Or whatever the two people you obsess over."

"It's RWBY... And um... Won't that make people mad?"

"Friendly imagination, Doc-o, friendly imagination."

~~~~~

"I don't think it would be wise to bet on Doyle and Kimball dating."

"But whyyyyyyyy?" Donut whined, the childish pain already affecting Doc.

"Because it might offend them."

"Oh please, Grif and Simmons always run into the mistletoes I make, but they don't seem to mind-"

Doc was pointing behind Donut. Behind him was a very embarrassed maroon captain and a clearly pissed over yellow- er, orange one.

~~~~~

"Damn, he punched you pretty good. You need to probably wear your armor more often." Doc said as he wiped the blood off of Donut's swollen nose.

"My face... He messed up my face..."

"Don't worry, the swelling should go down in two days."

"Awww... But-"

"In a way, this is karma."

"For what?"

Doc sighed, throwing away the bloody tissue.

"You shouldn't force people together like that, they'll take it the wrong way."

"Well, I don't get offended when they talk about me and y-" Donut froze and didn't complete his sentence. Doc raised an eyebrow as his face got progressively red.

"U-Uh, do you need a new ice pack?"

Donut nodded, and the second Doc left the room, a deep breath of relief came pooling out.

"That... Was close..."

Doc came back in a couple minutes later, and didn't seem to be bothered by Donut freezing mid-sentence. He was a doctor, he saw that all the time... Right?

~~~~~

"You should apologize."

"Nope."

"Grif, come on, you basically punched a girl, in front of Doc." Simmons whined.

"But he was talking about us! Together!"

Simmons deadpanned.

"We are together, idiot."

"But he doesn't need to know."

Simmons sighed loudly, looking to the sky to get some way of clearance to Grif's head.

"Please?"

"You already tried that one."

"Do it for me?"

"..."

Gotcha.

"... Just this once-"

"I know, I know, now go apologize to the poor guy."

~~~~~

As Grif approached the Med-bay door, he took a deep breath. He hated apologizing. Damn Simmons and his soft side. Bow Chicka Bow Wow.

He knocked on the door, thinking about revenge, and then what he was going to say. He was surprised to see Doc answer the door, and his plan had just exploded in his head.

Revenge is at hand my friends.

"Hey, Donut's not here, since I'm guessing you came to apologize..."

"Oh, okay, where is he?" Grif had to keep himself from smiling madly.

"In the mess hall... Oh! And he left his icepack, most likely because he didn't want to mess up his face, which it's supposed to do the opposite. Can you give it to him?"

"Oh, no... I couldn't possibly know how to use an icepack, maybe you should come with me and do it for him." Grif said, trying not to sound sarcastic, but Doc wouldn't notice anyway.

"Oh... Okie-Dokie!"

~~~~~

"Heyyyyyyyyyyyy pal. I came to apologize. Sorry for messing up your face. No hard feelings and all, thanks for forgiving me, and: scene." Grif lightly shoved Doc forward, and both of them rolled their eyes.

"You left your icepack."

"Oh... Right, thanks." Donut said taking it."

As the two began to comment on Donut's nose, Grif suddenly said smirking:

"I hope I didn't interrupt your date by punching him, it seemed like you two were having fun."

Let the games begin.

"D-Date?! I- he uh- we weren't-"

"It's okay, basically everyone knows you two are dating, but anyways, gotta scram. See ya later!" Grif dashed away faster than he's ever run in his life. And that's saying something.

Donut was covering his face in his hands, clearly too embarrassed to show it.

"W-We weren't on a d-date, right?" Doc asked.

Doc could see the visible slump in Donut's shoulders, like he suspected a different response, and that's when it hit Doc.

"I-I mean..." Oh god, he was bad at this, "If you want it to be..."

Time had frozen for Donut. All the troops around the mess hall seemed to freeze mid bite.

"You... Really?" Donut sounded like a hopeless kid, and mentally slapped himself for that.

"Y-Yeah... Why not?"

~~~~~

"I ship it."

"Hey, I started it!"

"Grif, just shut up and enjoy the moment."

"But we were having a moment..."

"You want some trees with that sap?"

"I hate you."

"I hate you too, dork."


	5. Stop talking

Blah blah blah self-promotion.

Blah blah blah I'm the best.

Blah blah blah I talk too much.

This was all Locus' brain was willing to process while Felix was talking.

"Are you even paying attention?"

"Do you ever stop talking?" He calmly replied.

"I don't talk THAT much."

Locus glared at Felix through his helmet.

"Um... Maybe a little. But it's harmless."

Maybe if he keeps glaring it'll go away?

"... If I say yes, will you stop glaring at me? I know you're wearing a helmet, and I can't see- wait, hold up, you don't have a visor. How can you see? Is it like external hardware or something? Oh, you know what'd be funny? Little googly eyes on the front of it. You'd look adorable.-"

"I'm not adorable."

"Speaking of adorable, I need to clean my gun."

"What does that have to do with adorable?"

Felix chuckled.

"Do you see another hot mercenary with orange stripes here?"

Locus shook his head, he was disappointed that he walked right into that one.

Locus grabbed his gun, and began to clean it, taking out the magazine. Felix smirked, and sat down on top of the table instead of the actual chair, and began to do the same thing.

"... There's a chair."

"What? Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't notice." Felix retorted sarcastically, and remained where he was.

"You know," Locus loudly slammed the magazine back into place, making Felix flinch, "You really need to shut up sometimes."

The second he finished his intimidation speech, he dropped the gun on the table, making Felix jump a bit more noticeably.

"... Sometimes."

You could sense the cheeky smile the Orange mercenary was pulling.

"I will kill you after this, do you get that?"

"Unfortunate." Felix mocked, sounding exactly like Locus. The green one growled, glaring up at Felix.

"Say that again and you will be motionless."

"Unfortu-" Locus had taken out his knife and held it to the other's throat, reaching across the table with a deadly tone.

"Say it again. I dare you."

Silence came from Felix. Locus calmed down, and placed the deadly knife away from his partner's neck.

"Felix, you're lucky I get paid to deal with you."

"Well, that's unfortunate."

"I hate you."

"You love me."

~~~~~

The staff that worked for Locus and Felix's plans had a nickname for the two mercenaries.

Raven and Beastboy

It was the most accurate thing anyone has ever heard.

Locus kept quiet, and only made comments when threats were needed.

Felix was like Beastboy, questioning everything in the universe and usually using that to piss off Locus.

Although Locus wasn't actually raised by an intergalactic demon, a lot of people thought it.

Locus had recently heard the nickname when a couple of troops were talking about the two, unaware their boss could hear them. Locus didn't acknowledge his own presence, but instead retreated to his room to think this over. While doing so, he was so in thought that he forgot to lock the door, and in came-

"IS THIS THE REAL LIFEEEE, IS THIS JUST FANTASY,"

Oh god not him again.

"CAUGHT IN A LANDSLIDE, NO ESCAPE FROM REALITYYYYY,"

Is he surfing on a Rollie chair as he enters...?

"OPEN YOU EYES, LOOK UP TO THE SKIES AND SEEEEEEEEEE!"

He can NOT hit those high notes.

"TAKE IT AWAY, LOCO!" Felix was now pointing at Locus, dramatically on his knees.

"No."

"Just this once can you get that baseball bat out of your ass?"

"..."

"Pleaseeeee."

"I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy."

"You gotta sing your heart out! Well, you don't have a heart but still."

"Ouch."

"Like someone could hurt your non-existent feelings."

Locus turned away from Felix, who still looked completely foolish, and began to write the report that was near due. But Felix could clearly care less.

"I'M JUST A POOR BOY, I NEED NO SYMPATHY,"

"Felix."

BECAUSE I'M EASY COME, EASY GO, LITTLE HIGH, LITTLE LOW,"

"Felix!"

"ANYWAY THE WIND BLOWS, DOESN'T REALLY MATTER TO-"

"FELIX!"

"What is it babe?"

Locus glared, then dropped his writing utensil, sighing.

"... Look, although I appreciate the effort I am trying to do something productive in this place, so unless you plan on serenading the enemy to death, you better-"

"You appreciate my singing?"

"..."

"Oh my god you do."

"I hate you."

"We've been over this, you love me."


	6. I'm more of a cat person AU

Wash knew from the second that they started dating, Tucker would want Wash to meet his parrot, Junior. Junior was like a kid to him, although Tucker would never admit that.

"C'mon, it's a bird! Even better, it's a Golden Macaw! You're thinking of Cockatoo's. Those are absolute bitches." Tucker tried his best to comfort Wash, but it just wasn't working.

"I thought you said you used to have a Cockatoo."

"No... Oh, you're thinking of a Cockatiel. Different Australian bird. But they both have crests and a similar name so- Nevermind. Junior is a Macaw, the weird 'Rainbow bird', but blue."

"Then why is it called a Gold Macaw?"

"Why did Caboose name his pet bug, which is a Mantis, Freckles?"

"... Touché."

~~~~~

As Tucker unlocked the door to his apartment, he could clearly see that he was nervous.

"First time? Bow Chicka Bow Wow."

"Wh-What?" Wash panicked.

"I mean meeting a bird, Wash."

"Oh... Yeah, kinda... I'm afraid he'll smell Luna, my cat..."

"Psh, it'll be fine! Macaws won't kill you. Well, they can snap a broomstick in half-" Tucker saw his boyfriend's absolutely terrified face, "I-I mean... Just kidding?"

"I don't want to meet him."

"Please?"

"No."

"Then you have to pay for dinner next week."

".... Fine."

As Tucker happily swung the door open, you could see that he obviously rush-cleaned everything. However, Wash appreciated the gesture, even if it was bad.

"Junior, I'm home buddy!" Tucker called out. Wash was scared that it would attack him, so he stayed close by Tucker, gripping his wrist.

A moment later, a loud, happy sounding whistle came from down the hall.

"C'mon, i need to take him out of his cage."

Wash cautiously followed behind him, and was met with quite a sight inside the room.

Junior was a beautiful bird, about the size of a stuffed teddy bear, and was more aqua than blue. He was hanging upside-down on the perch inside his cage, and whistled happily as he heard the cage door open.

Tucker stuck his forearm out for Junior to hop on, but stopped whistling and hanging when he saw Wash. He hissed, standing back up and stretched out his wings, almost trying to protect Tucker.

Wash took a step back, and Tucker just grabbed his sleeve and pulled him over.

"Don't worry Junior, Wash is good, okay? He's scarred too,"

Junior calmed a bit, tucking his wings back in, but still glared warningly at Wash. He ruffled up his feathers and just stared at him.

"Junior, don't be like that."

The bird looked over to Tucker, and back to Wash.

"Felix?" It squeaked, sounding like a three year old child.

Tucker froze, and opened his mouth to say something to Wash, but shook his head and spoke to the bird.

"No, he isn't like Felix... He's better."

Wash was completely confused. Wasn't Felix Tucker's Ex or something? Before he could ask, Tucker pulled out Wash's arm from his side.

"Now stay still."

"Tucker, what are you-"

And there it was. A cute, beady-eyed bird staring up at him from his arm.

"Um... H-Hi?... I'm Washington..."

The bird cocked its head to the side, as if processing.

"Wash." It stated.

Wash smiled at the bird- Er, Junior.

"Yeah, Wash."

"Pretty wanna cracker?" Is asked, and if bird could smirk, this one would be right now.

Tucker snorted, and both the bird and boyfriend said in unison:

"Bow Chicka Bow Wow."

Wash glared at Tucker, but then his gaze softened back Junior.

"Can... Can I pet him?"

Tucker smiled.

"Hell yes. He's spoiled for those... Little brat... Pet the back of his neck."

Wash lifted his hand, shaking due to him being afraid it would snap his finger like a broomstick. But once his touch met the soft, silk-like feathers, Junior purred exactly like a cat. It was adorable.

"Tucker?"

"Yeah, Wash?"

"I love Junior."

"Wow, I must be an awesome matchmaker. Ooh, maybe I can be a third-"

Wash pulled Tucker close and kissed him, making him stop talking. But neither of them minded. Junior make a weird sound, similar to a dolphin's call, and it sounded like a laugh.

This was the best family ever.


	7. Come on, Carolina

"I wouldn't advise that, York."

"Oh, c'mon Wash! It's just one date. The worst she'll do is reject me."

"Or kick your ass. Or kill you."

"Or worse, expelled!" North chimed in. The other two groaned at the reference.

"Still, she'll say yes."

"Nope."

"Doubt it."

"Why not?"

"Because it's Carolina, York!"

The one-eyed freelancer groaned, and rubbed his palms to his forehead.

"Ugh... You're right."

"We know we are. Now stop moaning and quiet down, We hear enough of that from Flowers and Wyoming."

~~~~~

The second the practice signal began, both Carolina and York were in a battle stance. York was babbling on as usual, but Carolina just rolled her eyes behind her visor.

"Come on, Carolina~" York began to sing,

"That's not an actual song, York."

"It is to me!" He whined, mocking offense. Carolina responded by doing a roundhouse kick directly to his gut.

As a faint 'Ow' was heard from York, Carolina brought her fist back, ready to strike, when York came to his senses and grabbed her other arm, twisting it and causing Carolina to flip in the air over him. She lands gracefully, sliding back a couple feet, and charges her thruster pack forward to punch York square in the face.

York catches onto her plan of attack, and ducks, sticking his leg out to the side to let Carolina trip and fly forward.

Carolina skidded to a stop, but still bumped harshly into the wall.

"You've gotten quicker." Carolina sassed, regaining her power to prepare her AI.

"What's the matter Carolina, too good for you?"

"Quote the opposite..." Carolina's suit was charged, and Sigma triggered a full-powered speed boost.

York was completely unprepared for this attack, and it was obvious as he went flying straight into the wall.

His health levels were dangerously low, and the practice arena sounded an alarm to signal that the fight was over.

"Advantage: Carolina."

Although the Freelancer was happy with her victory, she still worried about York as she walked over to make sure he was okay.

"York-"

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm alright..." He muttered quickly, standing up. He stood well on his own feet, be Carolina was still concerned.

"Do you need me to walk you to the clinic?"

"Nah, I'm-" York tried to prop his elbow up against the wall, but it slipped, causing York to stumble, "-fine."

~~~~~

York's arm was completely shattered, but everything else was in perfect condition. York was used to this pain since he's had worse, but for once in Carolina's life, she felt guilty and completely awful. York didn't realize this, but Wash and North thought it was pretty obvious.

"Maybe she does care about you after all?" North suggested.

York would never admit the pure butterflies of hope he had in his stomach.

"... Guys... We talked about this, it's not going to work... I can't."

"Well you were hopeful about it before." Wash stated matter-of-factly.

"That was before she kicked my ass."

"Well that doesn't mean she can't kick you ass twice-" Wash got a visor full of an empty soda can due to York throwing it at him.

"What Wash is trying to say," North interrupts, "Is that you should try to ask her out knowing that she may actually accept."

York let out a deep breath, propping his feet up on the table, and looking to the ceiling as if it would give him answers.

"I don't know guys..." He began, "I don't want to mess this up. I don't want to make her- well, not like me. I'm fine with us being friends and all, but if I actually take this chance and lose that. Then it's not worth it. But... It's so aggravating! I want to take it a step further, but I'm afraid to, you know...?"

York turned to expect all mushy-talk and sympathy. But instead he saw North holding a hand over Wash's mouth.

"What the hell are you guys-"

"You know, it doesn't take much effort to say all of that to my face."

York turns around to see Carolina standing in the doorway, smiling.

"I guess you owe me a drink now, huh?"


	8. Rainbow Road

"Dammit."

"Crap."

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

"Your sister was my bitch."

"Not anymore, you have Wash."

"I will punish you."

"Ooh, I'm shaking in my armor- Ow!"

Most lines like this were heard every Friday night, but no one got more aggressive than team Heart Gold.

Aka Grif and Simmons.

(Grif hated the gold part.)

They were the most aggressive players on Friday Night Mario Kart, or FNMK for short.

The troops had their own unique rules, and it involved teams. Simmons and Grif were the best gamers there, but sometimes Grif could be lazy, and sometimes Simmons could be bossy.

As if that wasn't suspected.

But they were legitimately good players, working together and easily defeating the others. However, most thought they were too overpowered.

After a while, the most dangerous question was raised.

"Hey... So who do you think is better?" Bitters asked Simmons and Grif.

"Me, obviously." They both said in unison.

They turned to look at eachother, an argument rising.

"Grif, you're way to lazy to do anything."

"This is a video game Simmons, this is what lazy people do."

A slight 'Bow Chicka Bow Wow' was heard in the background.

"I'm a nerd! I would totally beat you on a race!"

"You can't compete Rainbow Road without falling off!"

"Yes I can!"

"Prove it!"

~~~~~

3

2

1

The Cloud-Turtle waved it's flag, signaling for the race to start. Grif and Simmons were in focus, almost scary to the other troops. However, they still cheered for their captains.

"Grif, if I win, you so owe me dessert for a week."

"And if I win, I'm going to lock you in a cave with snakes."

"... Have fun dropping me off when there's-" Simmons passed Grif, leaving a green she'll for him to bump into, "Bats!"

"Oh, you little-" Grif threw a red shell toward Simmons.

The two yelled threats at eachother the whole race, when it was finally the third lap, but they were switching on and off for first and second place.

"C'mon, Simmons!"

"Go Grif go!"

"Give 'em hell!"

"Why are you all yelling?"

The two were nearly tied, a foot away from the finish line when-

Zap.

The TV was unplugged due to Caboose tripping on it. Groans of protest filled the room, and both the competitors threw down the Wii Wheel.

"Dude, this sucks." Grif complained.

"And I was gonna get free food from you..."

"Bull. I was gonna win."

~~~~~

Everyone parted ways, and that left Grif and Simmons to be 'good sports' and tell eachother good job. 

"You're a dick."

"Ditto."

After that heartfelt conversation, Simmons turned to leave, when he heard Grif clear his throat, and say:

"Seriously though, good job. We were both pretty close."

Simmons had to redo everything in his brain filed under 'Yellow lazy teammate'. Did Grif actually become the adult of this conversation?

"Wait, what?" Simmons asked, confused.

"Uhh... Look, Nevermind. Night."

Simmons peered at Grif, trying to read his mind or something, but nothing happened.

"Huh. Okay, whatever. Night."

~~~~~

Simmons was thinking about what Grif had done all day.

Literally.

During Kimball's meeting, he was caught zoning out, and it was embarrassing as all hell.

C'mon Simmons; get it together.

Simmons repeated this in his head, and simply came to the solution that he would ask Grif why he decided to be mature for once. I mean, it should be a problem, but for Grif it seemed like one. The guy never does anything right!

Get it together. Get it together. Get it-

"Why are you talking to yourself?" Grif asked, eating an Oreo as he did.

"I'm not...?"

"You keep saying 'Get it together'. You alright...?"

"Oh... Huh, I guess... Well, I thought I was talking in my head..."

"That still counts as talking to yourself."

"No it doesn't, shut up."

Grif rolled his eyes, and took another bite.

"Seriously though... You spaced out like three times today. Are you ok?"

"I guess I should ask you the same question." Simmons replied nonchalantly.

"Why?"

"Why were you so... I donno.. Mature about FNMK?"

"... Huh?" Grif asked, confused, but Simmons could see behind it. Grif was hiding something.

"Don't 'huh' me, what are you hiding?" Simmons squinted, studying Grif.

"Dude. Stop. You look creepy."

"I'm gonna keep asking."

"Why do you care?"

"You asked me the same question earlier!"

"You still haven't answered it." Grif deadpanned.

"Fine. I'm fine. Now answer mine."

"I'm fine." Grif mocked.

"Grif-"

"Don't worry about it... I'm gonna go, see you later..." Grif said, walking away. He sounded slightly annoyed, but there were traces of panic in his voice.

He was hiding something.

(Part 2 Coming soon!)


	9. It's a small world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small (puns) sequel to "I'm more of a cat person AU"

Tucker was excited like a kid durning December holidays. His heart was beating faster than Junior's at this point, and the bird seemed to notice it.

"Tuckie?" It squeaked, still not being able to say 'Tucker'.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, just really nervous cause this is the first fancy place we're gonna eat at together, and yeah we've been to nice places, but I really, really like him and I don't want to mess this up and-"

The bird was giving him a glare.

"Shut up, you're in love with the Scarlet Macaw across the street."

The bird tilted his head in confusion.

"You remember Santa?"

The bird seemed embarrassed, and hissed.

"Okay, okay geez... It's just... I really like Wash."

The bird's gaze actually  
softened, and rubbed its beak against Tucker's cheek affectionately.

"I know, I know, this isn't a chick-flick."

Or was it?

At that moment, the bell rung, and both Junior and Tucker jumped. He took a deep breath, put Junior back in his cage, and opened the door. He was expecting Wash, but instead was met with Wash completely out of breath, as if he had been-

"Are you being chased?"

Wash shook his head, unable to talk.

"Are you running from social confrontation?"

This time he nodded.

Tucker grabbed his sleeve and tugged him inside, locking the door behind him.

"What is it?"

"You remember... Locus?" Wash asked warily.

Locus was Wash's Ex, Tucker knew that, but he didn't know why he'd be here.

"He lives next-door to you." Wash stated.

Oh.

Whoops.

"Oh... Um..." Tucker didn't exactly know what to say. Was Locus scarring or something? Did he... Hurt Wash? Oh, if he did I'm gonna kick his-

"He's not... You know, evil, just... He's changed." Wash casually said. Tucker looked for traces of lying, but there wasn't any.

"Do you need a box to hide under, snake?" Tucker joked.

"I... I don't get the reference?" Wash asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What?! Dude, when's the last time you've played a video game?" Tucker asked, shocked.

"... Um... Never?"

"... I'm changing that."

"Ugh, fine."

"Alrighty... Ready to go?"

"Absolutely."

~~~~~

The dinner was amazing. Tucker tried his best not to crack jokes the whole time, but was still his normal random self. Wash promised himself to be less... Wash.

In the end, the date was not a complete failure, but a complete success. Tucker: One, Voice in his head: Zero. Aw yeah.

On the way back, the two were discussing movies, or more like friendly arguing about it.

"The Matrix isn't real, Tucker."

"Just think about it! All of this around you is fake, and then these weird agent alien things are running off of our mind powers!" Tucker ranted.

"If it was, then someone would've noticed."

"Neo noticed?"

"No, Morpheus did. Neo was a complaining hero."

"True that, the guy needs to grow a- Wash what are you doing?"

Wash had completely stopped, and was staring across the street. Tucker followed his line of vision with his own, and saw something... Wait, what?

Felix was across the diner, and seemed to be going on a date with another guy. It didn't phase Tucker at all, the guy was an ass, but how did Wash know what he looked like?

"Wash?-"

"See the guy in the green shirt?" Wash asked.

"Yeah, but-"

"That's Locus."

Tucker tried not to laugh, he really did, but he lost it.

Felix was dating Locus.

Their Exes were dating.

"Well, Wash, I guess horrible people are meant for eachother."

Wash was completely lost and confused.

"See the guy in the orange shirt? That's Felix."

The two laughed until they were nearly in tears, and then continued to place bets on how long they were dating.

"It's a small world after all." Tucker stated on their way back home.

"Small world or not, that was the second best thing I've seen all day."

"Oh god, here comes the cheesy pick-up line. I'm not ready."

"Nah, you first. You promised you wouldn't joke at the restaurant." Wash complied.

"Hey baby, are you a software update? Cause not now."

"Ouch."

"You know I still love you. Now your turn."

"Is your face against protocol? Because it should be."

"Is that an insult or a compliment."

"Both."

"Huh. I like it."


	10. FNMK Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Rainbow Road

The younger troops screamed in joy as Team Tuckington took the lead. That wasn't the actual name, but Grif and Simmons preferred for it to be called that.

Team Heart Gold quickly caught up, and won overall. People still cheered, and Tuckington were still good sports, even if they wouldn't admit that they both are freaking obsessed over eachother.

Eventually that left Simmons and Grif. Grif was currently avoiding Simmons, while Simmons was nagging Grif to get information out of him.

"Grif-" Simmons started after five minutes of silence.

Grif looked slightly annoyed, but turned his attention to Simmons anyway.

"Grif... Have you been okay lately? I mean... You're acting weird, but not only that, you're kinda... Stressed for once."

Grif sighed, throwing away his empty plate he just finished.

"I'm fine-"

"Grif! You're not supposed to throw those away!"

"What... The plates?"

"They're plastic, not paper!"

"Oh... Meh."

"Just- Nevermind. Answer the question."

In Grif's head, he mentally cursed. He threw that plate away on purpose- it was supposed to be a distraction. But he knew that he was on edge.

A couple days ago, Kimball report of an incoming ship.

To be clear, his Sister's incoming ship.

The complete burden of protecting his sister again from all the other soldiers was harsher, now that he has to defend her from a whole army.

"Grif, I'm still waiting." Simmons said, bored.

"It's fine. You have nothing to worry about."

"God, you're starting to sound like Donut on his nonexistent time of month."

"So I'm basically sounding like Donut."

"Well, he's usually happy and-" Simmons hesitated, and sternly said: "Stop it."

Grif raised an eyebrow, "Stop what?"

"That. Stop that."

"What is there to stop?"

"You keep changing the subject!"

"No I don't?"

"Grif, what's wrong."

"... No."

"No what?"

"No, I'm not telling you."

"So there is something wrong!" Simmons replied, seeming as if he was the victor, but worried since there was actually something the matter with Grif.

Grif simply glared at Simmons, and graves his stuff to head off to bed.

Simmons followed annoyingly.

"What's the big deal? I'm not Sarge, I actually want to help you!"

"There's nothing to help, just let me sleep in-"

"Captain Grif," Kimball stated, interrupting the two, "Thirty minutes."

Grif had thirty minutes until Kai's ship landed. Freaking great.

"... Minutes until what?" Simmons asked. Grif forgot he was here, and sighed.

"Nothing, just go kiss up to Sarge or something."

"Grif-"

"Grif's sister is arriving in thirty minutes." Kimball said without hesitation. Grif panicked.

"Why the hell would you tell him that?!"

"Why the hell wouldn't you tell me?!"

Kimball quickly dodged out of sight from the two, as they were about to get in an argument.

"Because it's my sister!"

Simmons was going to yell back, but took a deep breath, calming both him and Grif.

"I know that your sister means a lot to you. But I could've... You know, helped?"

"How?" Grif asked, sounding annoyed with this whole situation.

"By telling me. You turn into Sarge when you stress out."

"Say that again and I will smash every clean plate in this base."

"Just- Grif, I want to help! I know I can be bossy, alright? But you're still my friend."

Grif was about to reply with another threat or insult, but did he just say...

"I'm your friend?" Grif asked, kinda confused.

"I-... Of course you are, idiot! Did you think you weren't?"

"Well... I donno, how was I supposed to know?"

"Ugh, just-" Simmons punched the bridge of his nose, "Grif, you are my friend. And I'm the only person you out up with due to me bossing you around, and I'm guessing that means I'm yours. What friends do is help eachother when their being complete assholes."

"... Am I being lectured about friend's from a dork?"

"Yes. Yes you are. So you can either suck it up and let me help you... Or... Something else."

"Wow, I guess as your friend it's my duty to help you with better comebacks."

"Grif?"

"Yup?"

"Don't talk for the next ten years."


	11. Dungeons and Spartans AU

God dammit. I knew it. I knew Simmons was going to make me go to something way nerdier than I was ready for. I was fine playing videogames and all with him, but really?! A Roleplaying game?

"It's with most everyone at the base, you won't be judged, idiot."

"It's Dungeons and Dragons, of course I'll be judged!

"At least I'll be playing with you."

"Wait... If you're playing, and I'm playing... Then who's driving the car?"

"Doc's the Dungeon Master. He doesn't want to fight."

"... So you put the worst person and driving things in a metaphor to drive the car?"

"That... What?! That doesn't even make sense?!"

"Science, Simmons. Science."

~~~~~

"Dork."

"You invited me, Tucker."

"But you accepted."

"But you were the one whining and saying," Wash used his best snobby kid voice, "'Babe, please, I need this-"

Wash got a pillow directly to the face.

"I do not sound like that you dick."

"You said it!"

"No I didn't!"

"You're such a closet nerd."

"Then you're a flamboyantly gay nerd."

Wash threw a pillow back.

~~~~~

"Didn't you and the guys used to play D&D, York?" Carolina asked as they were getting their character sheets ready.

"Yeah, Wash was a DM, but he would never admit that."

"Wait... He used to be a dungeon master?"

"Yeah, he was awesome at it too!"

"You and your friends surprise me sometimes..."

"Well we can't defeat you in actual battle, so false reality usually does the trick."

~~~~~

"Donut, come on, we're gonna be late!" Doc called, trying to get Donut to hurry up.

"Okay... How do I look?"

Doc was completely shocked to see his blond friend in a Hula girl outfit, coconuts and everything. He even had a ukulele.

"Donut... What... You... What?!"

"I'm a bard, duh, I sing to people to increase their morale!"

"But... Hula skirt?"

"Don't worry, I have pants on."

"But... It's 30 degrees outside! You'll freeze!"

"Nah. I look too smokin' to freeze~"

~~~~~

Doc and Donut arrived at the place they'd be playing at first. The location was called MegaBytes, an Internet cafe that usually sold figurines and held MTG matches. The store manager saw Doc, and then Donut. His face was so red from laughing it looked as if he were going to pass out.

"I'm guessing... You two are here for that D&D reservation set-up..." He said in between laughs.

"Yeah... Don't worry about him... The others should be here soon, and you said you could help us set up...?"

"Absolutely! I'm guessing this is the first time to a RP game for you guys?"

"Uh... Yeah, pretty much." Doc responded.

"Well don't worry; that's what I'm here for."

~~~30 minutes later~~~

After Grif and Simmons arrived, being the latest people there, the group finally got started. Doc was the DM, and was burdened with the task of knowing the rules. He got all of the important ones memorized, had his dice bag ready, and now all that was left was to introduce the storyline.

"You awaken in a far away land called Chorus. There's a war going on, and it's been said to be the longest battle of the ages. Some say it even began before time itself... The Riot versus the Kingdom was a brutal battle as well. Troops died daily. Some died of fatigue and disease. Leaders lost their morale. They lost what they were fighting for. And then the colored Heroes of the Red and Blue Kingdom walked upon their lands, seeking an end to this bloodshed...

So here you story begins."


	12. Dungeons & Dragons? More like Destruction & Disaster

"Alright, if you all would like to introduce you characters...?" Doc asked, and gestured to Grif to go first.

"Ugh, fine," Grif mumbled, clearly not wanting to be here, "My name is Honeydew. I'm a Dwarf fighter."

"I'm Xephos. I'm an Eladrin Mage." Simmons said proudly.

"I'm Santa, who is an awesome badass Dragonborn Paladin." Tucker boasted, and started making lightsaber noises.

"I'm Epsilon, A human Cleric." Wash backed up blandly.

"I'm York, I'm a human theif/ranger. Need a door open? I got you. Need a chest opened? I'll gladly take the loot." York announced.

"I'm Carolina, an Elvish Ranger."

"And I'm Pastry!" Donut squealed, making everyone at the table wince, "I'm your Orcish Bard! I get to sing songs and stuff!"

"... Am I the only once that didn't notice he's in a hula outfit?"

~~~~~

After the adventuring party traveled around to town setting, they eventually came across a quest from the local bar.

"Deep in the depths of Mount Abbadon, there lies a dragon. No one has ever seen it... But... A couple years back, adventurers just like you tried to kill the bloody thing... It didn't go so well."

"... Doc, that is the best British accent I've ever heard."

"Uhh... Thanks Donut... But anyways, what are you guys gonna do?"

"Kill the dragon and get paid!" They all yelled at once.

Doc sighed, seeing they missed the point of the whole quest, but it got them hooked. So hopefully that'll keep them motivated.

"Alright... So where do we go to find this Dragon D-bag?"

"..."

"Ohh, I get it."

~~~~~

"You enter the Dungeon..." Doc began, creating an eerie setting, "... Blood stains the walls around you, leaving the room to smell of rusted iron. As you step, you can hear the crunching remains of other adventurers' bones, and every once and a while a couple worn down weapons. At the end of the tunnel, you see two pathways, and a chest in the center, looking a bit odd-"

"DIBS! I dash to the chest and open it!" York said excitedly.

Wash, Tucker and Simmons, being secretly experienced players, knew exactly what was going on. But they just kinda let it happen.

Simmons had to hide the smile as he saw Doc roll the dice, and glanced at the result.

"As you open the chest, you see piles upon piles of gold. As you reach in, all the sudden... Snap. The chest closes down on your forearm with its pointy teeth, and the so called 'Chest' has sprouted its arms and legs, the creature is east to identify. It is-"

"A mimic. And an obvious one too." Wash calmly commented, but was still smiling at the thought of York getting owned.

"You just got mimicked, son!" Tucker yelled, and then highfived Wash.

"Okay, York, take ten damage, luckily it didn't take away your arm. It just left some nasty gashes on it from your teeth." Doc informed.

York sighed, and went over to Wash and Donut's characters so he could heal back up while the battle took place.

Grif got in some good hits, as well as Simmons and Tucker from a distance. Carolina got the last hit, and it was a perfect 20 roll. After the four shared the items from the chest, they decided to give the leftovers and the remaining XP to Wash, Donut, and York.

"I still think York doesn't deserve it." Grif complained.

"What do you want me to do, apologize?"

"..."

~~~~~

"This is stupid."

"Do you want to continue the adventure or not?"

"Ugh... I'm sorry for stupidly walking down the hall and shoving my hand down a mimic's throat."

"Bow Chicka Bow Wow."

"Tucker, shut up, I'm trying to enjoy this moment."


	13. Palomo's Helmet Cam

Jensen and Palomo were good friends. Palomo was a bit upset when they weren't in the same team, but was happy to be under Tucker's control.

And then he found out Tucker hated his guts.

Oh well, things happen. But, when both Palomo and his friend got to be in higher ranks for special training: he was excited. When they could finally hang out again, they instantly talked about their leaders and experiences.

Jensen talk about how weird Simmons would act sometimes, and Palomo... Well he would just talk about Tucker's hatred towards him.

Either way, they were still the best of friends.

~~~~~

Laughter filled the room. Oh god, it was so embarrassing.

After the helmet cam testing, they showed the video up on a TV. And the bit where they caught Palomo starting at Jensen made his face turn red.

He was almost on the edge of tears, about to lose his friend.

But he would never admit that.

So Palomo kept quiet while the laughter surrounded him, making him dizzy. He didn't noticed when Jensen asked if he was okay. All he could see was the room spinning, and spinning and-

He had to get out of here.

Palomo dashed as fast as he could, which was still decent in his sickened state. He couldn't make it, so he ripped off his helmet, and threw up right there on the ground.

The laughter was still within distance, but muffled.

Palomo cursed, and coughed, making sure the toxins were completely out of his system.

The poor troop couldn't stand any longer, so he plonked down on the ground, holding his head in his hands, trying to stop the dizziness.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Jensen frantically asked. Palomo looked up to see her, and instantly winced from moving just the slightest bit.

Palomo tried to form words, but he felt as if he just got hit in the face by a bus. He wasn't doing so good.

~~~~~

The sickened recruit sat up, rubbing his forehead due to his huge headache. And then he looked around, and realized the unfamiliar setting.

"Why am I in the medbay?"

"You nearly died of embarrassment. Literally." The medic said, not looking at Palomo.

Before he could ask how he got here, the medic filled him in on what happened and all of the gaps.

"So, now that that's done... Your friends asked me to tell them when you wake up. So please give me a moment." And she walked out without another word.

"YOU IDIOT!" Jensen happily yelled, almost tackle hugging him.

"Are you okay? You ran out of the facility and threw up and I thought you were dying or something and I panicked when you didn't respond so I called the medic and-"

"Thanks, Jensen, but I'm fine, really... But I can barely breathe."

"Oh! Whoops! But still, how are you feeling?"

"Um, fine I guess."

"Well great! Believe it or not, Tucker actually got pretty worried."

"Huh. I thought he would just get mad... Wait... Why aren't you mad?"

Jensen looked pretty clueless.

"Mad about what?"

"T-The... You know... Helmet camera thing...?"

"Ohh... Yeah, I guess we're kinda even now."

Palomo coughed, and nearly had a heart attack.

"E-Even? But-"

"Shhhhhh," Jensen put a hand to Palomo's mouth to prevent him from talking, "I'm just gonna let you think about it, while I go help out Tucker and let him know you're okay."

And just like that she slipped out of the room without a trace.

And, oh yeah, Palomo figured out why they were even.

"Dork."


	14. Chatroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Absolute no seriousness

>LadyKiller69 has logged onto the chat

>AgentWash has logged onto the chat

>MaroonGamer has logged onto the chat

Wash: Really Tucker? That's what you chose?

Tucker: Hell yea what else m8

Simmons: Aren't you gay for Wash anyway

Wash: Hell no

Tucker: Hell yes

Tucker: Ouch my feels

>CheesecakePatties has logged onto the chat

Grif: What's up

Tucker: Dick

Simmons: Don't use the lord's name in vain

Wash: OHH NICE ONE

>Wash has sent a highfive to MaroonGamer

Simmons: Why thank you

>EnterYourNameHere has logged onto the chat

???:t

Grif: Um

Tucker: What

Simmons: Sarge is that you?

???: yes

Simmons: Hold on I'll go help him

>MaroonGamer has logged off the chat

>PartyBitch has logged onto the chat

Tucker: Ooh me likey

Grif: Don't

Tucker: It's not like she's your sister

Kai: Wait I'm not your sister?

Tucker: Hell yes

Grif: Shit

Wash: Dammit

???: Gosh Darn it

Wash: There's four types of people

>MaroonGamer has logged onto the chat

Simmons: What'd I miss?

Wash: Nevermind, there's five

Grif: Burn

Tucker: Speaking of burns... You're really hot

>CheesecakePatties has logged off of the chat

Tucker: Oh shi

Wash: You okay?

Simmons: Oh god did Grif kill him

Sarge: Not again

Wash: This has happened before?

Simmons: Yep

Sarge: Yep

Tucker: ksksdldldldl"/;;:;:;;;-;-(-(-):&&:&,94958828727/7jsjdkddkfkfk

Wash: Is he going to be okay?

Simmons: Kai is the equivalent of Oreos to Grif

Wash: Oh well RIP Tucker

Tucker: your'e allso nuce

Wash: Are you okay???

Tucker: ye p but imnot oke

Wash: ... I think I'm gonna get Dr. grey

(Short but a pain to write with all the usernames XD)


	15. Caution

"Tucker, don't be an idiot! Get over here! The building is gonna fall!" Wash yelled though the intercom.

"Palomo is going to die if I don't, Wash, I'm not gonna let that happen!" Tucker snapped back.

Before Wash could tell him that the beam holding up the structure had given out, an explosion went off.

The building had been converted into dust and smoke, blinding Wash from the reassurance of Tucker's living state.

Wash dashed into the smoke, ignoring protests from Simmons and Grif.

He had to find Tucker, dammit.

While thinking this, he ran into a figure with a Tan and Aqua-

"Palomo! Where's Tucker?!"

"I-I-I don't kn-know! H-He pushed my o-out of the building..."

Wash wanted to dash to the bomb site, but still had the common sense to wait with Palomo until a medic arrived."

"Wash, Palomo." Emily greeted happily, and began to examine the troop. As Wash got up to go help Tucker, Emily stopped him.

"Head into that smoke and you'll have smoke instead of oxygen in your veins for a lifetime."

"Tucker's in there." He stated, getting. Angrier by the second.

"We have to wait until the smoke clears, there could be more enemies-"

"All the more reason to look for him."

"... Fine. Get Epsilon to set up an oxygen field. But if he breaks-"

"Epsilon? It's Wash, I need to be able to walk through the smoke."

"It's Church." The hologram said, transporting through the radio just like Omega would.

~~~~~

Tucker woke up in the medbay, and sadly became familiar with the setting beforehand. He groaned, and sat up, looking to see what he messed up this time.

"Hellooooo~" Emily cheered, walking to the room, and ten saw he was awake.

"Oh. Wait. I don't have to talk to myself anymore! Yay!" She squealed and hugged the Aqua captain.

"Hey-" Tucker's voice was rasp from dehydration, and.started to cough.

"Oh, right, water. I'll get right on that." She stated and dashed out of the room.

Tucker kept coughing, and grabbed a towel from the bed beside him, and started to cough into that. When he took the cloth away, he saw black dust covering the cloth, and was terrified. What happened?

"Here you go- Oh my god..." Emily said, taking notice to the towel.

"Wh-What's wrong with me?!"

"Oh, don't worry, that's a good thing. Kinda. You're getting toxins out of your body from all the smoke, but with that much inside... Well, you should be dead. Oh well~"

"Oh well?! What the hell happened?!"

"I'll let Washiepoo tell you the whole shabang. I gotta give some dead guy a couple good words before the rest throw him into fire. Toodles~"

Before Tucker could question Wash's nickname, she ran out of the door happily humming some sort of classical song.

~~~~~

About an hour later, Wash finally got out of the training room. When he did so, Caboose sprinted up to him.

"Mr. Washingtub! Tucker is awake by he is not in a horse stable!"

Wash was completely confused.

"He's... What?"

"They said someone about not being in a stable."

"Don't you mean he's not stable-" Wash quickly caught up with what Caboose was saying, and dashed to the medbay instantly. Grif, Simmons and Church got the idea, and ran over to his area of treatment. 

Dr. Grey instantly saw them heading this way, and held up her hand for them to stop where they were.

"What's wrong with him? Is he okay?" Church asked instantly from his holographic projection.

"He'll be fine... He's woken up, but the smoke caused some serious damage, but... I donno. It's strange."

"Strange? You're supposed to be a doctor...?"

"Who told you that? Anyways, he actually is fine, but... That's the problem. He shouldn't be fine. He should be dead."

"You're not making any sense!" Simmons said, panicked.

"He's okay. That's all you need to know. He might be able to visit within an hour."

The others sighed in relief, and soon left after thirty minutes.

But not Wash.

Wash stayed there throughout the whole entire night and waited for Tucker to finally when he heard a door click open.

He woke up and expected Dr. Grey to check up on Tucker, but he was met with almost the exact opposite.

He woke up to a Mercenary with orange and black stripes holding a knife as he opened the door.


	16. Mama (D&D Part 3)

The adventurers explored the dungeon with great hopes of defeating this dragon. York was more careful about chests, Donut kept singing innuendos at the top of his lungs, and Simmons kept arguing with Grif about directions.

What a game this turned out to be.

Doc was constantly being asked questions about stuff they can and can't do, but he was actually enjoying the amount of thought they put into these sorts of things. It was quite interesting to watch.

Although the eight of them would never admit it; this was the most fun they've had as a group in years.

Carolina actually smiled for once, and that was like 'finding a diamond in a thrift store' York casually said.

Wash agreed to take it easy and not be so serious, which Tucker was teasing him about the whole time, but remained normal otherwise.

All in all, they were having an awesome time. However, until Doc looked ahead in the story booklet, and saw an error in the storyline.

Long story short, it didn't make sense.

So Doc took this opportunity to add his own... Twist to it.

~~~~~

"Well... This is it guys... The last dungeon." Donut says sadly.

"Why the heck are you sad? We finally made it!" Simmons exclaimed.

"But now the adventure is over." York stated.

Silence followed that, and Doc was secretly smiling at his ending.

"As you enter the dungeon, the iron doors shut behind you without warning. As you step around, you notice that the uneven ground is... Uneven. But looking ahead, you see-"

"It's quicksand! Start moving around!" Grif panicked. Doc was slightly upset that he saw through that, but continued his description.

"Up ahead, you see it. The scaly giant's wings groaned as it woke up, and stretched its neck toward Your direction, and stared at each one of you, stopping at Tucker. In a mighty, ancient voice, it asks: 'Who are you.'"  
As Doc said this, he secretly slid Tucker a note that he had written earlier.

(If you are unfamiliar with this game, usually when a character personally realizes something, the DM has to send them a note secretly.)

Tucker raised an eyebrow, and Doc kept his suspicions low as he didn't make eye contact with Tucker, but instead ranted on about the dragon's majestic scales, the Dragonborn warrior read it, and was so close to stabbing Doc after doing so.

"Shit." Tucker groaned, and laid back in his seat, causing him to slide down it slowly.

"What?" Donut asked, confused.

Tucker glared at Doc, and then sighed.

"We can't kill the dragon."

"Why not?" The others asked.

"It's... Uh... It's my mother."

Wash was taking a sip of water as this was announced, hand had to hold his hand in front of his mouth so it wouldn't reach anyone else.

"Your what?!"

"Do I have to say it again?" Tucker complained

"How the hell does that even happen?!"

"When a Mommy Dragon and a Daddy Dragon love eachother very much-"

"I hate you." Grif deadpans.

"Um... How do we... Tame it?"

"I think some seduction one-oh-one should-" York's statement was muffled by Carolina's punch to his arm.

"Guys, just- Look. The whole mission was pointless, let's just go home."

"What home?" Donut asked innocently, but then realized how depressing it actually sounded.

Even the store managers had a look of sorrow in their eyes.

"Donut... Sometimes homes aren't needed for the best adventurers," Doc began.

"I mean yeah, everyone always talks about a home to go to, or a place, but adventurers like you... Have eachother. So let's finish this damn game and watch a movie."

"... Oh my god that was beautiful." Donut said truthfully.

"Agreed." The others said, each having a different emotion in their eyes.

~~~~~

After defeating Tucker's mom (Bow Chicka Bow Wow), The group shook hands with the friendly staff members of the location, and each pair had quite the conversation in their own cars...

~~~Grimmons~~~

"Soooo..." Simmons asked happily as they got in the car, beaming at Grif.

"What'd I do this time?" Grif asked, actually thinking he did.

"How was the game? Did you enjoy it? You're a pretty good front-liner."

"Oh... Yeah. We should do that again."

"Absolutely."

~~~Docnut~~~

"I'm cold."

"Told you." Doc retorted, but still laughed that Donut refused to put on clothing instead of a hula skirt.

"It's for dramatic effect, okay?!"

"Fine, fine... But you've got a pretty good singing voice."

"... Thank you~"

~~~Yorkilina~~~

"You got your hand chomped off by a mimic, I so did better than you!"

"That's just... Details. Whatever. I still won."

"We all won, York. There is no separate winning."

"... Well I win by having you~"

"..."

"..."

"That was cheesy as hell, York."

"I know, I know, I'm still working on it!"

~~~Tuckington~~~

"Tucker?"

"Yeah?"

"I kicked your mom's ass."

"... I fucking hate you."

~~~END~~~


	17. Caution Part 2

Wash's eyes locked on Felix as he slowly opened the door. To the Mercenary, Wash seemed asleep, but he was more than awake.

The orange-striped jerk opened the door fully, and raised the knife, when Tucker shot up, and grabbed his wrist.

Wash was already prepared to tackle Felix, but stopped short when he saw Tucker furiously looking into Felix's eyes.

"You can mess with me..."

Tucker twisted Felix's arm until he was on his knees by the medbay bed, crying out in pain.

"But mess with my friends and lure them into an explosion...?"

Felix dropped the knife, and actually whimpered with the snap of his wrist.

"... You'll pay for that."

Tucker raised up his foot and kicked Felix back, knocking the Merc against the wall. Tucker panted, seeing as in he was no condition to do that in. The first place. He then looked over at Wash, and nearly screamed as he jumped.

"Don't do that... Just... You didn't see anything," Tucker snapped, before curling up into a ball, knees to chest.

Wash was going to ask about Tucker's anger issues later. That meaning after Wash beats the shit out of the knocked out intruder.

~~~~~

After a rough interrogation where the whole time Felix complained about Tucker snapping his wrist in half, Wash decided that he should just knock him out. He shouldn't have, but until he woke up, he could talk to Tucker about... Whatever happened.

The Freelancer stood outside the door, a bit worried that Tucker would snap at him again and go through some sort of breakdown.

Breakdowns are not fun. Wash would know.

But nevertheless, Wash knocked on the door, and opened it slowly, to see Tucker staring at a holographic screen, seeming completely calm.

"Hey Tucker..." Wash said, seeming a bit cautious.

"W-Wash-" Tucker coughed into the cloth in his hand, "Sorry, I um... Yeah. Sit with me?"

Wash chuckled. Yep, same old Tucker. But that still doesn't help what happened with Felix.

"So... What exactly went down last night?"

"I... Have no idea... I saw him coming, and I just got angry, about everything, so... Please don't think I'm crazy."

"Well, he did break into your room, so I guess attacking him is a logical response. But the whole wrist thing was...-"

"Scary. I know."

Tucker at this point seemed zoned out. He shook his head, however, and came back to the original world. He smiled sheepishly at Wash, before looking back to his screen.

"Oh! Wash, wanna see something cool?"

"Um... Sure?"

Tucker pulled up a picture of Junior standing with all of his friends back on the original planet.

"I took this on his last day of school... I remember he was so happy and sad at the same time..."

"School was one of those types of emotional triggers."

"True that. Anyways... How's Felix?"

"Complaining as usual. And being evil and sarcastic. But same stuff."

"Do you know why he's here?"

"Not yet, but... I may or may not of knocked him out. So we need him to wake up to start again."

"Oh... Well, that's-" Tucker picked up the cloth and coughed into it again, this time taking him a while to get his breath back. The whole time, Wash reassuringly patted his back, but was extremely worried.

Tucker finally got back to normal, and rolled the cloth up into a ball, not letting Wash see it and hoping he wouldn't ask about it. But Wash being the psychic-freelancer he is, he asked immediately.

"Give me the towel you coughed into." He demanded.

Shit, he was onto him. Tucker pretended to act clueless at his statement.

"What...? My cough-cloth? Are you going to sell it on E-Bay or something?"

"You know why I'm asking." Wash now turned protective-boyfriend mode. Tucker was looking at his options.

One: Give him the cloth and have to explain things.

Two: Keep joking about it until he gets annoyed and leaves.

Three: Jump out the window behind you and run away.

Four: Kill Wash and run away.

While he was thinking over his options, Wash grabbed it and stared as he looked at the black dust his boyfriend was coughing up.

Wash had to freeze for a second, and think of what's happening.

Should Tucker be dead? Yes. Should he be able to snap a mercenary's wrist? No. Should he assume that he's having hallucinations? Ye-

"It's... An alien thing." Tucker stated sadly.

"... A what?"


	18. Caution Part 3

Tucker loved and hated talking about aliens at the same time. I mean, yeah, aliens are cool, because they're freaking aliens, but thinking of all the things that happened to Junior...

... It was better left unsaid.

But here he was, trying to explain this whole alien thing to Wash when, at the moment, he didn't know much of the situation himself.

"Tucker, are you even listening to me?! You said there were no more alien things to worry about!" (He says as season 13 is based off of alien problems.)

"I-I didn't expect for this to happen!" Tucker yelled, almost pleadingly.

"Then explain how you coughing up smoke from an explosion has anything to do with aliens!"

Tucker hesitated, but finally sighed, and gave in.

"Yes, Felix caused the explosion... But because of alien shit, I just... Don't die. Instead, I just keep coughing up all this crap in my throat..." Tucker trailed off, but he knew he had to get to the point.

"For Felix to be able to use the sword, he would have to kill me first, and... Well... He can use it now..."

Wash had to take a second to recollect himself and ask the questions he needed to.

"But... You're not dead. You're right here."

"It's just a little... Gift... From the aliens for being the first owner of the sword. You get. Second life or something, but... Technically I'm dead." Tucker have a slight nervous laugh, trying to make this whole thing slightly humorous.

"So Felix killed you?"

"Um... Yeah... He faked the whole distress signal and made me go back in-"

"Stay right here and get some rest, Tucker." Wash said, extremely calm, but it was a bit unnerving.

"Where are you going?"

"To have a little 'talk' with Felix."

~~~Wash the protective bab~~~

When Wash walked into the prison Felix was being held in, he saw a bunch of guards aiming their gun around it, seeing as Felix was awake.

"Ooh, guns. Nice tough there Wash, but you know, it'd be a bit nicer if-"

"Go outside. Lock the doors. Don't come in until I go back outside and tell for you to do so. Is that clear?" Wash asked in a dead serious tone to the guards.

They all looked slightly frightened, but nodded and waited by the entrance, wondering what poor Felix was going to have to endure.

~~~*Not exactly a extreme torture trigger warning but more like Wash punching Felix and asking questions sorta thing*~~~

"What."

Punch.

"Did."

Punch.

"You."

Punch.

"Do?"

Kick.

Wash became furious, his soul dwelling in anger and loss. He knew Tucker wasn't dead, but Wash only knew the pain of nearly dying. To imagine what happened to Tucker-

"I made him suffer for screwing with our plans...~" Felix said in a sickeningly happy tone. This only made Wash angrier.

But he had to take the logical side of this.

Felix didn't know Tucker was still alive, but he killed him himself.

If he were to prove that Tucker was still alive, maybe he would think the sword wouldn't work... But he already tested it out. Damn it.

Maybe if Tucker killed Felix- No. Tucker is hurt. We're not making him do that.

Wash was out of options. He had Felix here until his likely escape, so he had time. But he still needed a solution quickly.

"Awww... Is the little messed owner missing his kitty?" Felix sarcastically stated, interrupting Wash's thought process.

The freelancer, filled with anger, lunged toward Felix, and started to twist the other wrist that Tucker hadn't broken.

"Felix, I will make it so you can never find the remains of you own broken bones again. So let me say this: Even if Tucker might be dead, you aren't safe... Because I'm right here." Wash horrifyingly replied to Felix's sass, making the mercenary shiver.

~~~~~

Wash came back to the bunker extremely late, due to him having to explain the whole alien situation to Kimball. The whole time, she was angry with Felix, but still had sympathy in her eyes.

Wash was now hallway, visiting Tucker before he fell asleep.

When the freelancer arrived, he found the sight of Tucker trying his absolute best to pull his IV's out.

"What are you doing?" Wash asked, standing in the doorway.

"I can't sleep with these... And it hurts like a bitch to get off. It looks so easy in the movies..."

Wash chucked, walked over, and smacked Tucker's hand away, and instead placed the IV all the way back into his skin.

"Ow." Tucker said, wincing.

Wash was thinking of some sort of comeback, but instead told the Aqua soldier to move over. As he did, Wash laid down beside him, and began to drift off into sleep.

"Wash?" Tucker asked, breaking the silence.

"What..." Wash replied groggily.

"Do you think everything is going to turn out okay...?"

Wash hesitated with his answer, but smiled and snuggled close to Tucker.

"We're the Reds and Blues. We'll figure out some stupid plan to make everything okay."

~~~END~~~


	19. Insanity doesn't always end in blood

"GET OVER HERE!"

"N-No! You're scary and violent and I don't like it!"

"WELL TOO BAD, YOU'RE MY NEW EXPIREMENT!"

"No!-"

Crash.

Grif head the whole conversation, and so did Sarge. They both thought they should help, but... Nah.

So instead, they both quietly ate their lunch, Sarge eating something manly and Grif eating potato chips. Life was great. Until Doc ran into the mess hall for coverage, slamming the door behind him.

"Aren't you gonna help?!" He asked, voice high pitched from panic.

"Well... We were thinking it." Grif retorted.

"She's running around with some sort of needle, and it's really scary!" Doc complained annoyingly.

"So?" Sarge asked.

"S-So? That's all you have to say? Where is your sanity? Where is your heart?!"

"I must've lost it when I had the duty of training Grif."

"Thanks sir, that's really- Wait you used to have a heart?"

"Guys!" Doc shouted, but not aggressively, just in a panic.

Grif sighed, and leaned back in chair, saying: "Why don't you just go talk to her?"

"You don't think I've tried? She thinks I'm the crazy one!"

"Exactly. So act... Not crazy."

"So... Act crazy in order to not be crazy?" Doc asked, then switched to O'Malley, "That's the worst plan I've ever heard!"

"Well geez, fine, don't use it then." Grif lazily replied.

"B-But I need help- Ow!" Doc said as the door bumped forward, with yell behind it.

"Oooh Doooooc~" Emily said, sounding slightly psychopathic, "WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"Oh god, please help." Doc said, quite cowardice.

Grif and Sarge looked at eachother, quickly grabbed their food and rushed out as soon as possible, leaving Doc supporting the door being closed with all of his strength.

"L-Look, I don't want any trouble-"

"Of course we do, fool!" O'Malley interrupted, "We want to tear her to tiny pieces!"

"Ooh, Split personalities are the best!" Emily cheered.

"No! They aren't the best! There bad!" Doc panicked.

"Which is why they're the best for analysis! NOW OPEN THIS DOOR!" She terrifyingly screamed.

"I-I'm warning you! I'll-"

~~~???~~~

Doc woke up and saw a blinding light hovering over his face. He winced as he tried to move, and then realized something in a panic.

He was tied down.

Literally.

"What?!" He screamed as he pulled on the wrist restraints, and saw- oh god- Doctor Grey standing over him.

"Oh my goodness! You're awake~ I thought you'd be dead after that whole operation..."

"D-Dead?! Wh-What... Let me go!" Doc yelled, trying his best to contain O'Malley's anger.

"Hmmm... Nah. You're staying here~"

"Let me put or I swear I'll-" Doc cut himself off. He was not going to threaten someone. Just no. Take deep breaths.

After a pause, he finally spoke calmly again.

"Doctor Emily Grey."

"Yes, insane Doctor?"

"Please let me go..."

~~~~~

Grif and Sarge were sitting back down at the mess hall again, eating the same food.

"Hey, Sarge?"

"What, abomination?"

"Do you feel like something is... Missing?"

Sarge thought about it, and then shrugged.

"Summons maybe?" He replied.

"Nah, that's not it... I mean... Something was... Forgotten?"

"... Nope."

Grif sighed, seeing this was going nowhere.

"Fine, fine. I'll drop-"

"GET OFF ME CRAZY WOMAN!" Doc yelled. Running down the hallway, with Doctor Grey following closely.

"NOT TODAY, BLUEBERRY!"

"I'M PURPLE!"


	20. The Quiet Game

"Locus."

"..."

"Loki, death of all humans."

"..."

"Loco Locus?"

Locus growled at Felix's nicknames, but kept walking to check up on the prisoners. He didn't want to kill them due to anger from Felix.

"Bitch baby?"

"Will you ever stop?" Locus snapped, staring at Felix directly behind his visor.

(I'm sorry all I can see is Googly-Eye Locus staring at Felix)

"Nope!" Felix said happily, and then turned back to his dark, sarcastic tone, "But you might want to check up on the rat food."

"I was trying to align the prisoners, but you keep distracting me."

Felix thought this over, then just shrugged and resumed to calling him names.

~~~~~

Locus has had enough.

Felix is pretty much haunting him at this point.

The orange mercenary has come up with about a thousand different nicknames, including but not limited to:

1\. Green Grandma  
2\. Loco for dramatic huffs  
3\. Beast Boy   
4\. Nightmare moon  
5\. Green-striped stripper

And so much more.

Locus would rather not go into details.

However, by the end of the week, Locus had given up all hope, but Felix still strived with flamboyant annoyance. This game was constantly played between the two, but now with Sharkface in the mix, Felix needed to be more serious. Clearly, that was not going to happen soon.

Many of the troops told Locus just to ignore him, as if he hadn't tried before. But one surprisingly less-idiotic troop suggested the Quiet Game.

Now, if you don't remember you childhood like Locus, the Quiet game was a pass-time made by tired mothers. The objective of the game was to be the only breathing nuisance alive that hasn't spoken.

So once the idea was pitched, Locus decided to try if, but then realized that Felix wasn't a child. He acted like one, but sure as hell knew what a "Quiet Game" was.

But then another idea was pitched alongside the child's quieter.

~~~~~

"Goooooooood morning Vietnam! Or Chorus, take your pick-" Felix stopped short after his open arrival to see no one had reacted or told him to shut up. He glanced at Locus across the room, and slid over as if he were a toddler wearing socks on a wood floor.

"Hey buddy, what's with the silent treatment?"

No response.

"Okay, I understand if you're ignoring me, but c'mon, who died? The troops won't even tell me to shut up."

Locus walked past Felix, pretending he was invisible.

This pissed Felix off more than a lapdog who'd been left in its kennel.

"Oi! Merc Banner! What did I do this time?" He yelled, waving his hands in front of the green-striped boss.

Locus had no reaction, and Felix huffed, crossing his arms.

~~~~~

Of course, Locus could see him, but had to not laugh when Felix was acting like a spoiled child.

It was kind of adorable.

Wait, what? Shut up.

"CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!" The orange mercenary screeched.

Locus felt sort of bad at this point, but kept his mouth shut. He could last until the end of the day. If not, the trainees would definitely break before then.

~~~~~

"Shut up Felix! I mean- Shit!" A random voice said from across the room, and Felix cheered, getting someone to talk.

After a pause, everyone within earshot groaned, and would absolutely give the weak link a taste of hell for ruining the joke.

Felix ran up to Locus, the lapdog metaphor still in sight, and jumped up and down.

"Ha! Take that you green slime! I win!"

Locus sighed, and gave Felix a pat on the back, not saying anything, and began to walk to his dorm since it was rather late.

But, before he could reach the door, Felix slid in front of him.

"I won. So you have to talk."

Locus tiles his head to the side, signaling for a 'Why' in body language.

"...Because."

Locus smiled behind the visor, smirking, and pushed past him, but Felix sighed in defeat.

"Because I miss your voice, okay?" Felix said annoyed, and hands raised in the air, "Happy?"

"Yes." Locus stated simply, and entered his dorm with Felix locked on the outside, completely pissed.

Today was a good victory.


	21. Love is a Battlefield

Wash was a noble marine of the army. He was included in small, advanced squads, had expert shooting skills, but only one flaw: A husband at home, waiting for him.

Tucker, or as he would rather say to avoid jerks, his spouse, was happily married to Wash for a year with their German Shepard, Junior. Tucker had a job as a police officer, and usually his friends on the task force were pretty laid back, there being no crime in town.

Wash's life was completely different. He had to deal with sobbing families asking where their loved ones were. Small children asking where their fathers and mothers went. And most of all, he did his job, but not out of motivation.

Out of fear.

He never wanted Tucker to go home and cry. He never wanted Junior to only have one person to sleep and guard every night. He never wanted his small, happy family to be alone.

So he did his job without any second questions.

~~~~~

Wash nearly cried of happiness when he got sent home. Throughout the plane ride, he squirmed and shook in his seat, ready to latch on to Tucker and never let go. Of course, he would never admit that.

The solider sat on the window seat, staring out at it the whole time, while a mother and her small daughter sat on the next two seats. The girl was adorable, and Wash couldn't help but smile at the look on her face when she saw his camouflaged clothing. He even heard her whisper:

"Mommy, look! A hero!"

And of course once again, he would never admit that his heart melted.

But what really made his heart swell was when she finally got the courage to ask if he was a solider.

Wash seed hesitant, because sometimes killing people wasn't all that impressive. He saw the look in the mother's eyes with apology, and she was about to ask her daughter to be quiet when he smiled, and gave her a reassuring nod.

"Yep, I fought in the war, and now I'm flying home."

"Cool! What are you going to do when you get home?"

"Well... Probably hug my hus-spouse and fall asleep there for three days."

The little girl giggled, but Wash on the inside panicked.

What if the mom noticed the slip up? What if she would start ranting about a bunch of different stuff?

But when he looked up, he saw the mother smiling brightly.

"It's okay... I have a wife. Her name is Laura."

Wash released a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Oh thank god... Sorry about that."

"No, no! It's fine. I would've probably done the same thing-"

The flight attendant's intercom clicked, and the whole cabin fell quiet.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, please get ready to load off board, for we will be arriving in three minutes."

~~~~~

After Wash gave the little girl one of his many camouflage hats that he's received, he made his way to a taxi, and watch the window the whole time as he endured the comforting silence home. While doing so, he thought of all the ways he could surprise Tucker.

Quickly, he looked at his watch and noticed it was three in the morning. Yeah, Tucker would absolutely be asleep. Maybe he could just get an airhorn or something? Nah, he could be better than that.

The whole car ride, Wash's mind was blank. Nothing. Complete nothingness. So when the house became in view, he mentally cursed at himself for not thinking of something.

He stepped out of the car, gave the cab driver his pay with a generous tip, and walked toward the door. Realizing he didn't have a key, he quickly looked under Junior's dog bowl on the outside, and saw where the two always put the valuable piece of metal in case of emergency.

With a turn of the knob, the door swung open, and then there was silence.

Wash slowly shut the door behind him, afraid that it might wake Tucker up for the surprise.

What surprise?

Making his way up the stairs, he slowly opened the bedroom door to reveal Junior asleep on the foot of the bed with a very handsome man flopped facedown on top of it.

Today was a good day.

So instead of some fancy entrance, Wash just laid down with Tucker and snuggled into the man he missed so much.

He couldn't wait until morning.


	23. Love is a Battlefield Part 2

Tucker had a long day.

Throughout the day, he had been annoyed, yelled at, and then slapped in the face with happiness.

He didn't really want to talk about that last part, but for this tale, it's necessary.

Tucker walked into the police station early, sat down, did basically nothing, until Palomo accidentally poured all of his coffee on him. Usually, he wouldn't care. But that was the third time this week.

Secondly, as he got an early break from the spill, he got to walk home early. While doing so, he got a phone call. But this wasn't an ordinary phone call... His mother called him.

Instant panic ran through Tucker's veins. What was he supposed to do, answer it? What if he didn't? What if there was a family death...?

So, giving in to all the 'What if's', he answered the call of his mother that had abandoned him four years ago, right after she found out about her son and Wash dating.

"... H-Hello?"

"You're married?!" She screeched into the phone, sounding like she just figured this out. Tucker wasn't sure if he should be angry or sympathetic.

Let's try a little bit of both, shall we?

"Well... I didn't think you'd care."

Silence grew from the other end as Tucker kept walking, and he was about to hang up when he heard a muffled sob on the other end. Tucker's once-settled panic was rising up again, and he wasn't sure if it was his mother's time-of-month or she was actually upset that he didn't tell her.

"Tucker... I just... I'm sorry... I didn't th-think you'd actually go through with it..." At the end, she didn't sound sad. She sounded proud. And that nearly made Tucker start crying in the street.

So Tucker bottled up the tears for now and started to walk home a little faster while talking.

"I... Mom-"

"No, just let me apologize... I feel like a horrible mother now, and-... I just want you to know that I'm sorry... And that I bet you and your husband are happy..."

Okay, no crying in the street Tucker, we've been over this.

~~~~~

Tucker safely made it to his house, and by that time his mother had insisted that she meet Wash. Tucker said he was currently on a military mission, but she still wanted to come by and see her son that she so wrongfully abandoned.

Tucker's mood lifted more than it has in a while with Wash being gone, and decided to tell Grif the news, since if the meet-up tomorrow went bad, he had someone to be his witness.

After that, Tucker went to sleep happily, sprawled out on his bed with his dear Junior at his feet.

Today was a good day.

But it was about to get better.

Tucker woke up early, remembered he didn't have work because it's a Saturday, and tried to snuggle his way back under the pillows and blankets, only to be stopped by a person.

A person?!

Tucker was about to scream, but remembered that he would probably not want to wake the intruder. His eyes snapped open, and slowly started to stand up when he saw the so-called intruder's face.

"Wash... Wait, Wash?!"

His husband stirred slightly, but before he could open his eyes, Tucker tackle hugged him with all of his body weight, sending Wash to the floor and Junior barking alongside the two from up on the bed.

Tucker latched on to him, silently squealing, and Wash smirked, hugging him back. Once Junior realized who it was, he pounded on the two of them, barking happily.

"I thought you were a murder or something, jerk." Tucker said, trying not to cry for the second time that day.

"Oh, what was I gonna do, snuggle you to death?"

Tucker hugged him closer, if that was even possible.

"Please do."

Wash laughed, shaking his head, and Junior took a small resting place behind the now-home marine.

Tucker and Wash sat there for what seemed like hours, not saying anything, just making up for lost time. When Wash tried to get up, both Junior and Tucker growled, wanton him to stay there.

"Tucker, I have to eat... So do you."

His dog and junior (completely intended) let go, and Wash began to make pancakes in the kitchen for both of them. The whole time, they were talking about work, friends they've made, and basically any difference in life at all. Tucker was conflicted with the whole mother?thing, and-

"Shit" Tucker accidentally said aloud.

"What?" Wash asked, completely calm and still turned around.

"So... Uh... Long story short, you and I are going to dinner tonight-"

"I was already planning on that..."

"No I mean I've already made reservations." Tucker sassed, annoying Wash a bit before he would finally tell him what it's actually for.

"Oh. Wait, how did you know I'd be here?"

"I didn't."

"... What?" Wash turned around, completely confused. Tucker chuckled a bit, and here comes the difficult part.

"I, uh... So... My mom called..." Wash's eyes widened at the words, and looked as if he was ready to stab someone, but let Tucker continue, "And... Well... She apologized."

Wash's still face was the equivalent of a cartoon character shaking their head rapidly in disbelief.

"Apologized for what?"

"Um... Everything, I guess..."

Wash smiled, and ruffled his husband's hair while he gave him a plate of pancakes, saying:

"I'd love to meet your mother, you know that. And it's even better that a do on good terms... Cause I might've tried to kill her otherwise."

"Wash!"


	24. AI's have feelings too...

Theta sat alone inside the head of Epsilon, with the occasional visit of Delta telling him that the main AI required his memory.

Because that's what he was.

Just a lonely memory.

Theta had lots of memories too, but most were erased.

Except for one thing

When Theta was tortured due to Agent Maine, he was forced to let go of everything.

Except for one thing.

Agent North was the best thing to happen to the timid AI. So when that memory was threatened, Theta fought back.

Of course, no one suspected something so brave from something so 'weak', so the whole plan fell out of place.

Theta got to keep his memory of the beloved agent that never betrayed him, and the Meta got to fall to pieces.

Theta had to as well.

But it was worth it.

So when Epsilon created his memory of Theta, he also had Theta's memories. This all included North. North's comfort for him, his devotion, and his kindness. The three things someone needs to keep on living.

But there's one more thing the poor AI didn't receive...

"Can we get a dog?"

Distant groaned rumbled within the AI chip, and Epsilon said a harsh no for the moment, but instantly felt guilty when the purple hologram flashed away.

He would have to make up to him for this...

~~~~~

Theta was staring at computer codes, bored out of his mind, and in general just really bored. The young AI didn't want anything to do with the scary, mature, angry holograms. They all wanted power or knowledge of something, when all Theta wanted was his friend back.

But he knew that wouldn't happen.

All the times they've spent together, all the promises he's made, and they were all broken. More broken than glass. More broken than himself.

If an AI could shed tears, Theta would've been sobbing on the floor by now. But once he remembered he was a machine, and that he shouldn't have emotions, he took a deep breath, as if that would solve all his problems.

It didn't.

The held breath was released, and for a moment, that made Theta feel human. The need to cry made him feel alive.

Should he be happy or sad?

"... Theta..." Epsilon asked wearily, seeing the fragile, purple AI from across the room. He walked over, and sat down beside him, looking to the ceiling as well.

"Dogs... Are a big responsibility..."

Theta absolutely lost it at the word 'Dogs', and reverted back to his normal shy-self.

"You mean we can have a dog?"

"Well, you can have a dog. I'm staying on the high horse to not take care of that... Thing."

"ThankYouThankYouThankYou!" Theta cheered, jumping up and dog, and now he felt like crying again.

But they were tears of joy.

The best kinds of tears for the broken soul.


	25. What happens at ComicCon, stays at ComicCon

It was nearing the anniversary of their first date.

Grif never freaked out about these types of things, but on the inside he was a reck. What could he get Simmons? He doesn't like sports, he already owns about every good game available, and Grif knows nothing about good books that he would read.

So when he saw a couple You-Tubers post about Comic-Con, he nearly jumped and screamed for joy.

It was perfect.

~~Later that week~~

"Hey, Grif, I'm home! I also didn't eat, so you better not've eaten everything!"

Grif nearly jumped off the couch after his boyfriend's surprise entrance. He was currently looking at the tickets he'd finally received in the mail, and quickly stuffed them back into the envelope so Simmons couldn't see.

Normally, Grif would've have been so stupid with something so easy to be revealed, but Simmons came home early. The only explanation for hat is most likely the anniversary, and Grif was planning on giving it to him tomorrow afternoon. However, it seems fate has chosen tonight.

Grif acted as if he was watching TV while Simmons stumbled over to the living room where he sat, and look almost drained of all life.

"What... What happened?"

"I had to deal with fixing the Puma all day... Not fun. Not fun at all."

Grif smirked, and dragged Simmons to sit down on the couch with him, and the two watched TV in silence.

For Simmons, it was comforting.

For Grif it made him all the more nervous about the Comic-Con tickets. So he decided to 'Man-up' and ask while he's still ahead.

"So, uh, Simmons... Today is our anniversary, and uh... Well I'm not sure if you're going to like this present... But oh well, I tried."

Simmons chuckled at but at Grif's speech, but the love and understanding was still there.

They weren't complete jerks.

So when Grif handed him the envelope and opened it, his eyes looked like a kid reviving its first A+.

"You got Comic-Con tickets?! How?!"

"Uh, you just kinda order online and-"

Simmons tackle hugged Grif to the floor before he could say anything else.

And then the silence was even more comforting for the both of them.

~~It's Comic-Con time~~

Grif went as the well-known lazy solider from the popular series Red vs Blue, which was of course Geoff. Simmons loved the same show as well, and went as the Smart and slightly uptight Gus.

It. Was. Amazing.

Vendors full of awesome merchandise at every corner, awesome cosplayers wishing sight at all times, and panels with all their favorite nerd-famous celebrities.

The two were having the best date ever, and was absolutely the best time in their lives.

But what Simmons didn't know was that Grifwas going to make it even better for the both of them.

It was when they were in the meeting hall, with all the cosplayers and fan meet-ups.

Simmons was looking up at all the hotel rooms that stacked stories high, while when Grif was out of view, he changed position slightly.

When Simmons looked back down, his boyfriend was on one knee, looking back up at him.

Simmons' emotions were a mix of love, fear, happiness, surprise, and joy all at once.

Time seemed to stop as all the exhibit hall guests seemed to happily stop and squeal as they saw what the two were doing.

"So, uh... You know I'm horrible with the whole speech thing, so I'll try not to embarrass the both of us... You were amazing. You are amazing. And i know you will be amazing. You're the smartest, most leading person I've ever met. I know we can both be jerks, but I also know that we both love eachother. I've always wanted to do something like this, but like I said, not as good as you are with words... So... Richard Simmons... Will you marry me-"

Simmons dragged Grif up will all his strength and kissed him right in front of the whole crowd of Comic-Con.

People cheered. Cosplayers clapped. Wil Wheaton even gave a wolf-whistle.

That anniversary will be a story to tell the grandkids.


	26. Parenting perks

"B-But dad!"

"Matthews, I told you no-"

"But Jensen got to go to her friend's house!"

"That's because he got straight A's, sweetie..."

Matthews sighed dramatically and flopped on the couch that was separating him and his dad.

Correction.

One of his dads.

After Simmons and Grif got married due to a nerdy Comic-Con proposal, it was only a matter of time before Simmons wanted to adopt kids.

Grif, of course, was reluctant, but said yes, because he knew it would make his husband happy.

Nowadays, Simmons was stressed out about the kids' grades, while Grif taught them how to sneak food into the house.

Simmons knew he was being hard on them since school started, but he had to set things straight, and then they could be responsible for themselves.

Jensen was a bit trippy on social skills, but was still smart like Simmons.

Matthews was the complete opposite.

He couldn't get an A on a test but could easily give the puppy dog eyes to convince the teacher otherwise.

It was kind of funny how it all worked out, and although the they wouldn't always say it aloud; they were happy.

A family had its ups and downs, but that's how they all grew closer.

Currently, Matthews was currently trying to force himself away from the family.

"Can I please go to the movies with my friends?"

"... Fine, but only until you do your homework. Also, you have to do it yourself, I don't want Jensen doing it for you-"

"Thanks dad! I love you!" Matthews yelled happily as he sprung up from the couch, hanging on Simmons' neck. The father chuckled a bit, and then sent the kid on its way.

Now, to see what the other rascal is up to.

~~~~~

"You're horrible at this game."

"I'm a ten year old kid!"

"There's still no pity! No one is this bad at MarioKart!"

"I'm still learning!"

"All you have to do is press the two button and steer!"

"I'm trying!"

"What the hell-heck are you two talking about?" Simmons asked confused, standing in the doorway.

"MarioKart." Grif and Jensen answered together.

Simmons shook his head in disappointment of how they were both children, and watched silently as the two sued rainbow road.

Grif won. He didn't even need to try.

Just as he was about to give Jensen some hints, Simmons was tackled by Matthews, and sent the two flying through the air and toppled over the couch, onto Grif and Jensen.

"Ow!"

"What was that for?!"

"My controller!"

The four of them started at eachother in silence, before Simmons giggled, actually giggled, and sent Grif into a fit of laughter.

The two kiddies eventually joined along, and they all stayed home that night, canceling all plans, and just played MarioKart on a Friday night.

(So many past references to other stories... FNMK anyone? Eh?)

~~Eight years later, where the twins are both eighteen~~

Simmons was so happy to see both of his loved children get sent to college.

Jensen got to go to a high-ranked law school, which she actually enjoyed, and Matthews got to join any college football team of his choice.

Grif and Simmons couldn't have been more proud.

So as the two both cheered when they got accepted into their dream schools, they were ready to leave and pack when the day came.

That day was tomorrow's early morning.

So while everyone was taking a break on a nice Friday evening, Grif found one of their old Wii's.

Simmons smiled when he saw it, wondering if it still worked. Instantly, both Jensen and Matthews jumped up from their study areas to watch in awe as their dads began to set up the outdated console.

Jensen found the four remotes, and Matthews found the Wii Wheels.

~~~~~

After hours of endless playing, Jensen had passed out next to Matthews, while the two fathers were barely still awake, not wanting to miss out a moment before their kids had to leave.

The sad part was, they weren't even kids anymore.

Grif came to this sudden realization, and so did Simmons. The two dads looked up at eachother with sad eyes, but a happy smile underneath.

They did it.

And they would never raise their kids in another way, even if they had the chance.


	27. Red vs Blue: Snow edition

"Today is a good day for you to die!" Coach Sarge shouted, throwing the two lonely kids who were sitting on the bleachers into the field with the rest of the kids.

"Ugh... Yes sir..." Simmons mumbled, treading his feet through the snow, dragging Grif along.

It was December first, and all of the traffic was shut off, making the kids have to stay overnight at school. It had been the second day of survival.

(Yes, I have had to do this once. I hope you never have to.)

All the kids had divided into two teams:

Red and Blue.

Frank aka Doc, being the known pacifist at school, didn't really participate. Instead, he provided pretend medical assistance to the fallen.

They were in highschool, yet they were all children at heart.

As Red team let Simmons and Grif join their side, the two friends looked over to see Tucker and Wash on the other side, aiming for-

"Get down!" Grif cried, tackling Simmons to the ground.

The whole battlefield froze when they saw the two most-shipped teens in school laying directly on top of eachother.

Both blushed profusely, and scrambled off of one another.

As Grif was going to apologize, a snowball from Tucker smacked him in the face.

"Team blue, bitch!"

Grif nearly growled, but a small smile came afterwards. He reached down into the snow, scooping up a pack of ice and chucked it toward Wash, who wasn't paying attention.

Bullseye.

Simmons winced as he saw the snow cover Wash's far in pain, and almost looked scared. Heck, he was scared.

The teen looked around for available cover, and didn't see anything in sight. Except...

"Human shield!" He yelled, throwing Grif in front of him as Wash angrily threw another ice sphere in his direction.

"Hey! No violence you three!" Doc panicked, not realizing that his friends were just joking.

"We're just playing around Doc, c'mon! Loosen up a little!" Doc cheered, throwing another snowball.

Damn. He had a nice arm.

~~~~~

All of the fighting continued for what seemed like hours, until Sarge called the class inside. After that, it was Ramen and snuggle in your blankets.

Of course, Grif had an emergency blanket at all times, so he was settled. Along with Simmons having to get him to share.

Tucker was fine with his thick jacket, and so was Wash, so the two weren't uncomfortable at all.

Doc and Donut were planning on having a sleepover (cause that's totally what Highschoolers call it), and both had their sleeping bags at the ready.

While everyone was chatting about the horrid weather, Flowers, the Principal, talked on the megaphone.

"Students, I'm glad to announce that you will all be sent home by tonight? But until then, let's watch a movie, shall we?"

Children/teens cheered and shook eachother crazily as they thought of the happiness of finally going home. Most can't stand school for seven hours. Why be there three days?

Tucker and Wash highfived, Donut and Doc were a bit upset, and team Grimmons sighed in relief.

All was good.

The movie (of course) was RWBY, a movie all the main teens knew about and secretly obsessed over. People who didn't know about in were slightly confused, but usually people got the just of craziness after five minutes.

During all the Jaune and Phyrra scenes where they didn't confess their feelings, people were frustrated, dissapointed, and yelling at the screen as if characters could hear them.

All in all, it was a good day at Blood Gultch high.

That night, as the boys fell asleep, something wonderful happened to each one.

When Doc and Donut drifted off, they secretly held hands through an opened portion of their sleeping bags.

When Grif and Simmons passed out, Simmons fell asleep on top of the Hawaiian's arm, and honestly, I don't think either minded.

Tucker and Wash, however, didn't fall asleep. They stayed up all night, talking about their favorite couples and how to get them to happen.

So yeah.

Maybe school isn't all that bad.


	28. Scaredy-cat

"C-Carolina, I sw-swear to God if you d-don't stop now I'm g-going to k-kill you..."

"Don't be a coward."

"I-I'm not-... You kn-know what? I am! And I-I can't t-take it anymore!" York yelped as he grabbed onto Carolina's arm for dear life in the small, metal death box.

"It's just a Ferris wheel..." She said casually.

"Yeah. Exactly! A F-Ferris Wheel!"

"You could've told me that you were afraid of heights before we walked into this ride."

York huffed, and the cart moved, causing him to jump. Carolina shook her head, holding back a laugh.

"Th-The second we get o-off this I'm going to k-kill you..."

"Psh, as if you could try."

York glared at his ginger girlfriend, who he loved, but right now hated.

York did not like heights.

Period.

So yeah, inviting him on a metal deathbed wasn't the best plan.

Around the highest point, the carriage started to rock a bit harsher due to the wind, and it wasn't at all comforting to York. Carolina actually felt bad at this point, and tried to help him calm down a bit.

It didn't work so well.

"York, try breathing a bit slower-"

"That's n-not going to h-help..."

"Well, try."

"I a-am trying! It's v-very difficult!"

"Don't be a princess!"

~~~~~

"Hello, ladies and gentlemen, we have to take a small break due to a handicapped passenger getting on, we thank you for you patience."

"Y-Yeah, well you can take your damn thankfulness back."

"York, calm down, we're 3/4th's of the way there, just take a break."

"H-How?!"

"... Good question. Umm... Try closing your eyes...?"

York mumbled, bring stubborn as ever, and crossed his arms, squeezing his eyes shut.

Ten minutes later, the carriage moved again. Carolina was about to inform York that they could get off soon, but instead she came to the sight of York sleeping on her shoulder. It was kinda cute.

Not wanting to disturb him, and also not wanting him to slobber on her, Carolina tried to step to the other side of the metal casing.

Wrong choice.

The whole thing shook drastically from that slight movement, and York snapped into consciousness instantly.

"Wh-Wha- Carolina! Don't move it!" He almost yelled.

Carolina apologized, but her fun wasn't over.

Not yet.

She slammed her foot on the floor of it, causing it to creak loudly, piercing everyone's ears within a mile radius.

York clamped his mouth shut, pure fear in his eyes, and didn't want to die due to his girlfriend.

Boy, that would be embarrassing.

The ginger laughed, and patted him reassuringly on the back.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you."

York was completely unconvinced by this statement.

Right as both of them were wondering when to get off, the wheel jerked to a stop, sending Carolina flying on top of York. Both of them ended up on the floor, staring at eachother for a second, before the microphone snapped on.

"Uh... Ladies and gentlemen, please do not panic, the Ferris wheel is having some... Difficulties; please stand by."

York's eyes widened, and was about to scream in anger, frustration, and a whole load of emotions.

But then he saw Carolina smile, then laugh profusely as she began to sit up from the floor.

York didn't even question it. But when you think of how stupid a fear is with someone else, I guess you just loosen up a little.

So there they were, both sitting on the floor of a horrible carnival ride and laughing their fears in the face.

Tonight was good.

By York had plans on making it great... And repaying Carolina for her help.

So right before the carriage started to move, he stood up, pulling Carolina with him.

She seemed confused, but the puzzle fit in place when he got down on one knee.

"So, uh... I'm gonna admit... I didn't think you'd drag me on a Ferris wheel. I was going to propose when we got home, but... Oh well, we were supposed to be there about an hour ago anyway. So... What do you say-"

Carolina dragged him up and pulled him into the tightest hug of the century. The whole time, the two of them were smiling and laughing like loud idiots.

Tonight had been now converted from good to great...

And that's how it should be.


	29. Dork of the Orch AU

Day one at orchestra camp.

Dear god help me.

Tucker was a sophomore at Freelancer Highschool, a new student. He got average grades, did amazing in sports, but was pretty decent at cello. He was first chair in his old school, but for the most part, the students just played for art credit; therefore they weren't that good.

So no, he was not expecting to get second chair as a new student.

He didn't even expect to be in the top ten.

~~~~~

Wash was a sophomore at Freelancer highschool, heading to their summer orchestra camp to play cello.

Sound familiar?

He was the best in the school, and usually his friend York played second chair beside him.

Sadly, he recently had to get a glass eye, and was in the emergency room at the moment. So when Washington walked through those camp doors with a cello case heavily placed on his back, he had a bad feeling about everything.

But hey, maybe the second chair cello is more of the quiet type?

(Heh nope)

~~~~~

"Alright, alright everyone! Get to your seats!" Doc called, waving his hands in the air to get everyone's attention.

Wash was already in his chair directly by the podium, trying to tune his instrument. He nervously looked around to try and find who his stand-partner might be, but no one he knew seemed to head up to that spot.

Suddenly, a kid in an aqua shirt sat down beside him, and started to unpack his cello quickly.

Well, he doesn't seem too bad.

The guy seemed about his age, and when he noticed that Wash was sitting next to him, he held out his hand, and said:

"Hi, I'm Tucker. I'm a sophomore and I'm new. What about you?"

"Wash. Sophomore also."

The two gave eachother friendly smiles and shook hands before the director cleared his throat and informed everyone to play an open A.

~~~~~

"Alright, now that the concert pieces are out of the way... Here's how Quarters and Duets work. The first two chairs of each section will do a duet of their choice, while chairs three through six do a quarter and pair up with other sections. Everyone else will be staying with me. Now, if you're leaving; find a room!" Doc clapped his hands, clearly worried and rushed due to the other kids' intellect when it came to orchestra.

After the two left the building, Wash found a room, and the two sat down.

"So... What pieces do you know for duets?" He asked.

"Not many..." Tucker admitted, "I'm not that good when it comes to knowing classical music."

"Hmm... You know, it doesn't have to be classical..."

~~~~~

"Dude. There's no way." Wash stated, staring at the music that he had only four days to learn.

"It's ACDC! Surely you can make an exception!"

"Easy for you to say, your part's not that hard!"

"Bow Chicka Bow Wow."

"Oh, dear..."

~~~~~

"Okay, no more modern or rock songs. There's not enough of us to play all the other parts."

"Fine." Tucker sighed, giving in. He thought of all the duets that he's seen that aren't that boring, but it's difficult!

"Ugh, it's like we're cursed or something..." Wash stated gloomily, looking through the songs that the other groups have already taken/stolen.

But the second Wash said cursed, an idea popped in Tucker's head.

He stood up, nearly dropping the valuable wooden instrument in the process, and shook Wash's shoulders.

"Say that again!"

"Um... It's like we're cursed or something?"

Tucker jumped over his chair to get to the computer to print music off.

"What?" Wash asked, trying to see what he printed out. He ran over to get to the pages before Tucker, and saw the title.

"The Erlking...? Isn't that in another language for a singing part of something?"

"There's a cello part for it, don't worry. But think abut it! It has a cool back story and all, and we have have the triplets playing in the background on a speaker!"

"I don't know... This part seems pretty monstrous..."

"That's the whole point, duh. It's about a kid who sees the devil or something."

Wash raised an eyebrow, wondering how in the hell Tucker knew this. Tucker gave the 'Hey man I don't know' shrug and started to look over his part.

Wash sighed.

Here goes four days.

~~~~~

"What if I mess up?" Tucker says nervously.

"You'll be fine, no one will notice."

"I'll notice!"

"And now, introducing the cello duet of our summer camp, Wash and Tucker!"

The two cellists were shoved onstage, and had very little time to get situated in their chair. Once ready, however, they made eye contact, and nodded.

The piece sounded beautiful in mysterious ways.

Wash's extreme shifting part sounded amazing and breathtaking in the wooden auditorium, and Tucker's harmony mixed elegantly with his. At the last note, the chords ringed with a classic essence, and faded away gracefully.

Needless to say, the audience went wild.

~~~~~

Afterward, Doc ran up to the two, hugging them tightly- and a bit awkwardly. He let go, and happily squealed.

"Guys, that was amazing! You two need to to a duet again next year!"

Tucker and Wash nodded instantly.

But it seemed a bit sad when Doc said 'Next year'.

Tucker didn't want to wait until next year, and neither did Wash. Yeah, they'd have orchestra class, but they couldn't just choose their own music. But the two would take that wait than nothing at all.

"So, see you next year, Wash."

"Ditto, Tucker."


	30. Theta's memories

It was failing.

He was failing.

They came in waves.

It lasted for days.

And they were all about him.

It was like being torn apart and pieced together unwillingly all at once. He was laughing and crying over memories, and it couldn't be controlled.

He was never in control.

Theta tried to get out, but the only passageway was through the past. A terrifying, guilty, sorrowful road.

I can't take control.

With no other exit, he climbed through the small opening in his own mind. It felt worse than a human death, if that's even possible. He was no longer walking, but croaking at an agonizing pace. He shuffled his way through fractured glass that viciously tore at his existence.

I don't want to be in control.

~~~~~

A fuzzy feeling went off in Theta's sensory brain. He blinked open, trying to find where this known location was, but there was just darkness. Complete and utter loneliness.

He hugged his knees, burying his face in them, and started to silently sob.

If this was what life was like, he didn't want it.

But then, like a change of channels, a projector flicked on, casting an image on an unseen surface. It was like a floating 'Television', as Nor- humans called it.

But then it began displaying memories.

Memories of him.

Memories of North.

Theta was about to hide away again in the comfort of hugging himself, but he couldn't resist the friendly smile North gave. It was just like he didn't know how he would end up.

"Hey... Theta... Um... I'm dead. You probably already know that, but... Yeah. Long story short, I hope you never see this, but... You're dying too. On the plus side, I'll see you soon. On the down side... I'll see you soon. You get the gist... Anyways, as a little goodbye-slash-welcoming present... I made a little something to make your... Now beginning... A bit easier. See you soon."

Theta smiled and wiped away tears. Actual tears.

Of course North would do something like this.

So here begins playback of Theta's life.

~~~~~

"Ready of not, here I come!" North called, looking for the Purple hologram. He checked behind every nook and every corner.

That is, he never checked behind him.

You see, peripheral vision in a helmet isn't exactly the best. So, Theta just floated behind his skull.

He could do this for hours, as long as he didn't giggle or do something stupid.

Too late.

North hit his head on the door, and the AI lost it. He howled with laughter, tripping off of his skateboard in the process.

"Not fair! Two out of three?"

"... Deal."

~~~~~

"What do you mean, 'I've never seen a movie before'?!" North asked, shocked and astounded.

Theta simply shrugged, not liking all the attention, even if it was just North. The human sighs dramatically, and insisted on teaching him the basics of staring at a screen.

"Ghostbusters or Cornetto movies?" He asked.

"Umm..." To Theta, ghosts seem scary, and he was afraid that it might be a horror movie. So he chose the ice cream ones, whatever that meant.

Throughout the movies, the first one was about zombies (which was quite hilarious), the next about two cops, one with the smarts and the other... Not so much. In the last one, The World's end, he was confused, but laughing the whole time. The actors were all the same, but played extremely different roles throughout the moving pictures.

It was something you didn't see everyday. It was different.

Theta liked different at the time.

But now, here he is, staring at a blank screen that's supposed to pass him to his friend.

In truth, he's staring at a dream while trying to ease the pain of reality.

So off he fades, closing his eyes, laying back, and embracing the chance to meet an old friend.

A good friend.

A different friend.

Someone who was there when Theta couldn't handle situations, and sometimes vise-versa.

Someone who eased him through the rough patches he was alive for.

Someone who took the wheel of Theta's life.

He helped Theta get in control.

The director was dead.

But so was North.

But once again...

He'll be able to see his friend.


	31. Tiny enraged villains

"Wocus!"

"No, go away, my toys!"

"But Wocus, I wanna play!"

"No!"

The two toddlers always bickered with eachother at daycare. Felix would try and take his toys, and Locus would snap at him and never share.

"No! These are my toys!" Locus whined, trying to get his stuffed teddy back. He was currently holding the body of it, while Felix was tugging at the head.

"I just wanna play with it for a little bit!" Felix complained, tugging even harder.

"No, it's my toy!"

"Well you should learn to share-"

Rrrrrrrrrip.

Felix froze, holding the Teddy bear's head at one end, with Locus and its body at the other.

Complete silence dawned onto the daycare.

"YOU MONSTER!" Locus screeched, and dived toward the teddy bear murderer. The others way he din see as the two youngsters clawed and pounded on each other.

By for adults, it just looked like a hissy fit.

After all, you should never mix friends with-

Well, you get the idea.

After about a minute of continuous screaming, the daycare guy, Flowers had to break it up between the two.

"Now now now, what's with all the fighting here guys...? Can't we all get along?" He asked in that weirdly soothing voice.

The two stubborn toddlers huffed, and crossed their arms, turning away. Felix rolled his eyes, as if it wasn't his fault, and Locus looked like he wanted the destruction of mankind.

Needless to say, the two were mad.

~~~~~

"I can't beweive you got me in timeout, Wocus" Felix pouted as he sat in his chair, facing the corner.

"You deserved it." Locus stated coldly, but it still sounded adorable with his underdeveloped speech.

Staring at the blue wall as if it would solve their problems, Locus and Felix were plotting how to get back at eachother.

Both were eager to try anything at this point. The only problem was having it go undetected by Mr. Calm-Voice over there.

So yes, it'll take planning.

But it'll be worth it.

After the long time-out, the two tiny villains got to work on their own plans, each of them having a burning hate towards the other. They ignored eachother for the next week, which was very tough to do, but eventually it became Friday.

Once the day began at Chorus Daycare, it was all work, slight vengeance, and no play.

Game on.

~~~~~

Felix had a classic prank that he was going to pull on Locus in front of the whole class. It wouldn't actually hurt him, just make him really embarrassed. So, when the grumpy baby began to walk by, Felix dived towards him, and smack.

The plate of whipped cream landed right on Locus' face with the other students watching.

Many of the others laughed, pointing and snickering at the child that was now close to tears.

Of course, they didn't see it, but Felix noticed it instantly.

He almost felt bad.

But then Locus dashed away to hide in the Daycare restroom.

Okay, now he felt bad.

Felix dashed after him, following the trail of whipped cream on the ground, and sure enough, it lead to the bathroom door. Felix sighed, and knocked on it.

"Wocus...?"

"Go away."

Felix sighed again, and looked for the nearest piece of paper.

~~~~~

Locus was curled up in the corner with disgustingly delicious whipped cream on his face.

Life just does that sometimes.

But it was so... So embarrassing! Locus hated attention in general, and never thought that his so-called 'Friend' would go this far.

Maybe that means he isn't his friend anymore.

The boy curled up tighter at the thought of losing his own friend. I mean, yeah, Felix can be a pain, but they both knew when too much was too much.

Maybe Felix has changed.

However, all those little tiny thoughts disappeared when Locus saw a piece of paper slide under the door. Cautiously, he picked up the paper and read the horrible spelling and handwriting.

"Deer Wocus,

I am sowy for making you cri. I do not meen it. Can we stil be fwiends?

-Felix"

Despite the boy's horrible attempt at writing, Locus still felt happy that he didn't mean for him to cry.

Maybe he hasn't changed.

As Locus slowly opened the door after wiping the excessive amounts of dairy products off his face, he was met with a huge hug from Felix.

"I'm sorry..." He said, still hugging him tightly.

"It's ok. Can we be friends again?"

"Of course."


	32. Chatroom: Pokémon edition

>LadyKiller69 uses summon.

Wash: What

Grif: What

Simmons: Not again

Doc: What?

Donut: OMG hai!~

Grif: What's everyone doing here?

Tucker: Your sister

Grif: I swear on me mum

Tucker: ohh even better

Wash: Why are we here???

Doc: I am quite confused.

Donut: Whoa there Mr. Proper grammar pants!

Doc: Does no one else use proper Language Arts education?

Tucker: nah

Grif: what he said

Wash: Idiots

Simmons: Heh Scar

Wash: ... What?

Donut: I'm surrounded by idiots.

Wash: Still don't get it

Tucker: BE PREPAREDDDDDD

Wash: wh

Grif: Disney's lion king. The evil lion.

Wash: ohhhh

Simmons: YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SPOIL IT

Grif: HISS

Doc: Did you just hiss?

Simmons: DO NOT QUESTION HIM

Wash: You people are insane

Tucker: in the me brain

Simmons: I just cringed at your lack of knowledge about cells

Tucker: I just cringed at your nerdy opinion

Simmons: It's a fact bitchhhhhhhhh

> CheesecakePatties sends a highfive to MaroonGamer.

>MaroonGamer highfives back.

Donut: It looks like you're some sort of Pokemon thingy

Tucker: Oh

Doc: I don't like that show... Too much fighting....

Simmons: WHATCHU SAY ABOUT MY SHOE

Doc: I never said anything about your shoe...?

Simmons: *SHOW

Grif: Calm bab

Wash: not this again

>MaroonGamer changed the name to "Pokemon nerds".

Doc: Guys...

Tucker: EMBRACE IT

Grif: Okay I agree with Tucker for once

Wash: Ditto

Donut: Same here!

Simmons: Wait how did Doc and Donut get into the chat?

Tucker: True how did that happen?

Wash: ?

???: Sowy

Tucker: Oh my god don't tell me

???: HELLO ITS CABOOSE

Wash: Uh... Caboose... Maybe you should get off the computer...

>Simmons changed ???'s name to "Caboose".

Caboose: I DONUT UNDERSTAND URGENT WASHING TUB

Tucker: Next thing, he's gonna call you dad

Wash: !!!

Tucker: What it happened to me

Grif: do you want to get punched

Tucker: I didn't do anything!

Grif: ... Fine

Simmons: Can't everyone just get along?

Doc: Yeah guys!

Caboose: I WANT TO GET ALONG


	33. Board Game Club

"Just do it!" Grif hissed at Tucker through gritted teeth.

"Dude, no!"

Simmons wheeled over on his chair, being on the opposite side from Grif.

"I would take his advice."

"Leave me alone!" Tucker whined, sliding down in his seat.

Grif and Simmons glanced at eachother, then looked down at Tucker.

Tucker continued to slide down in his seat until he was on the floor, underneath the table. Trying to get away from the two nerds talking to him, he tried to escape by crawling out the other way, only to be stopped by Wash crouching down and looking at Tucker. He raised an aye row, as if to ask what the hell he's doing.

"H-Hey, Wash... Uh... No problem here..."

"Oh hey Wash!" Called Grif, batting his eyelashes sarcastically, just to tick off Tucker.

"Yeah, how's your day going, Wash?"

Tucker visibly cringed. If his friend could stop being idjits for five seconds, maybe he wouldn't punch them after this is over.

"So... Do you need help?" Wash asked Tucker, who looked in distress. Tucker shook his head quickly, and crawled it from under it, sending Wash an awkward wave once he stated that he needed to head back to his own game table.

Ah, Table Top Club.

Who knew that Grif and Simmons only created this to get their OTP together?

Well, pretty much everyone except those two.

People weren't blind. They saw the two talk to eachother, and every time they looked nervous, but happier than they usually show. It was a healthy change. Who wouldn't want them to be happy?

"Me." Wash states without a second thought, glaring at York as he put away his books.

"I'm just saying, you two should bang or something-"

"Ew, no! God, how did you even land a girlfriend like Carolina?!" Wash asked in a joking manner, but a serious one as well.

"My charming good looks." York replied smugly.

"Yeah, sure. But no, I'm not doing it."

"C'mon! Just take the guy on one date, that's it. Just try it out!"

"Why?" Wash whined, not wanting to talk about this on the way to the class both he and Tucker were working in next.

As partners.

"Because you two look happy together. It's cute."

"I'm not cute..."

"No, but he is. So go get some."

Wash sighed. Maybe this whole forced relationship thing wasn't just a week long phase.

~~~~~

"Alright, start your projects, I'll be up here if you need me." Coach Sarge stated while sitting back down.

Tucker and Wash always were partners, so that was bound to happen, but since all the side conversations, t just made things awkward. Neither of them liked it.

They went home and re-ran the whole period of small talk through their head, realizing how weird they each were.

So, while Tucker began to go to work, Wash decided to finally take some advice from York.

...

Not the banging one, the- never mind, you get the idea.

~~~~~

"Have you played Magic before, Wash?" Tucker asked at TTC (Table Top Club), holding two decks of cards.

Wash shook his head, only knowing that it was a one vs one card game. The other offered to teach it to him, and Wash have a friendly-awkward smile and began to look through the Mountain-Plain deck that Tucker had given him. 

Tucker had Forest-Swamp, so this should be interesting.

A few minutes later, the blond got used to the rules and the two began to duel.

After about ten turns, things started o get intense.

And I mean people-gathering-at-the-table-to-watch intense.

"Screw you and your trading post!" Tucker yelled in frustration.

"You're the one with a Desecration Demon!" Wash sassed back.

Eventually, Grif, Simmons, York, and even Carolina started placing bets.

There were two going on at the moment:

1) Who wins

2) Who has the guts to ask out the other

It was quite simple, but could honestly go either way.

So throughout the game, they made smug and hilarious comments, but halfway through, Simmons noticed something.

Tucker was losing

On purpose.

He nudged Grif's shoulder to point this out, and he caught on instantly.

Well, I guess they're winning the bet.

~~~~~

"You're at zero health! I win!" Wash yelled, jumping up from his seat. Tucker tried to pretend to look pissed, but in all honesty he was happy for Wash, even if that meant he had to lose.

So far, so good.

After the match had ended, most of the students decided to go home, but the few who remained wanted to witness the act of Tucker and Wash getting together.

It was going to happen today.

They knew it.

So, when Tucker and Wash not-so-quietly asked "Will you go out with me", at the same time, everyone's head snapped around to have their widened eyes stare at the two embarrassed student.

Oh, they weren't going to miss a bit.


	34. Board Game Club part 2

"... Shi-"

"Oh no, don't mind us, we're just leaving, right Grif?"

Grif huffed, and unwillingly let Simmons drag him away, mouthing to the two: 'I'm watching. Always watching.'

Tucker and Wash were both tomatoes at this point, refusing to look each other in the eye.

Tucker felt like a Japanese school girl in some anime. God damn it.

Wash felt like Umi from School idol project.

Let's just say that both were blushing messes. No one was supposed to hear Tucker ask. Even Wash wasn't supposed to hear! It was just... A mumble go himself. Yeah. Totally.

But alas, here they were. Tucker wished he had never let Grif and Simmons convince him into signing up for Board Game Club.

After all, it's probably going to be his own undoing.

"L-Look, if you don't want to, that's fine, just, uh... Forget that I was here." Tucker said in a rush, grabbing his backpack and dashing out the door.

He heard something being said behind him, but he just made his way to the empty hallway, where Grif and Simmons were sitting on the ground, playing Flux. As the two saw Tucker with his head down, trying to get away, the two instantly stood up and ran to his side.

"How'd it go?" Simmons asked, curious. Tucker stopped walking, only to glare at him, and continued walking down the hall.

Grif and Simmons were left standing there, processing Tucker's bad mood.

"Well shit."

~~~~~

"And why didn't you run after him?!" York exclaimed, shaking Wash by the shoulders, who was blushing furiously after telling York the whole thing.

He regretted even going to York for help, seeing as North was busy.

"I-I just... Y-You know, it was really confusing and r-rushed and-"

"JUST GO GET YOUR MAN CANDY DAMN IT!" York yelled, shoving Wash in the direction of the parking lot, trying to get him to catch up with Tucker. Wash, of course, was attempting to skid himself to a stop.

"Y-York! No! I'll tell him later-"

"Nope. Later is too late. You're telling him... Now."

Wash was unwillingly pushed through the parking lot, huffing in denial. York could give less that two cares, because deep inside, he knew that those two needed to get married and be happy with a million cats.

~~~~~

Tucker couldn't be caught in a more embarrassing situation. His hands were shaking so much that he could barely jam the key into the slot of his car door, making his quick escape... Not so quick.

He released a breath he had been holding, and opened his eyes only to see York dragging Wash through the parking lot in the reflection of the window.

Great.

Tucker rushed to get his stuff inside his car once it finally unlocked, but of course, in the distance he heard York obnoxiously yell: "Hey, Tucker!"

Tucker sighed internally and externally.

You can do this.

York looked pissed at Wash and sympathetic for Tucker at the same time, if that was even possible. Maybe Carolina rubbed off on him or something.

Nevertheless, York simply walked up, shoving Wash in Tucker's arms, making the two fall on top of eachother, hitting the concrete.

Once again, the two were tomatoes.

York scoffed, winking at the two, and walked back towards the school. Wash and Tucker were watching him, but then realized the awkward position they were in.

The two scrambled at the speed of light times infinity to get off one another, and looked at the concrete.

"L-Look, let's just... Stop being awkward..."

Yeah, that'll never happen.

"... Yes." Wash said randomly, confusing Tucker.

"Wh-"

"I would like to go on a date with you, Tucker."

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Well why didn't you say so!?

"I know I should've said so earlier, but... Yeah... Awkwardness and all..."

Tucker smiled, offering a hand to Wash off the ground.

"Let's be awkward together, then."

(My life in a quote)

Wash laughed, taking his hand and gathering the books that were so rudely shoved out of his hands.

"Tomorrow, at some cheap fancyish place?"

"Olive Garden?"

"Oh heck yes, I love their free breadsticks."

"So that's why you wanted a date? So you can stuff free breadsticks into your bag and run away?"

"Yeah. And this cool guy I asked out on a date."

Wash glared, but a hint of a smirk showed.

"You're so cheesy."


	35. My knight in shinning armor AU

Wash's mythology class at Freelancer University decided to take a small field trip to Medieval Times, an epic dinner show complete with combat and knights with horses. Wash was probably the most intrigued by it all, because although he would never admit it, it was his childhood dream to be a knight. Obviously, that's not possible, but the classic knowledge of the past was enough to make him happy.

On the field trip, the other guests consisted of Carolina and York, and the rest were unknown to him.

Wash didn't exactly know many people.

However, this loneliness was forgotten as soon as he entered the gates to see gift shops with real swords, old-fashion clothed employees, and real knight armor displayed on walls.

It was like nerd heaven.

~~~~~

"Show time is in ten minutes!" A man called through the busy backstage area. Behind the scenes of Medieval times, it was mostly just drinking beer and petting horses.

Not that Tucker would complain.

As the Aqua knight, he was set up to win this match, but that meant he had to step up his game for the beginning non-scripted part.

Tucker and his horse, Junior, were probably the best people there.

Talent-wise.

That meaning they were also the laziest.

Their 'competitors', Red team, had a stuck up captain and the rest were Simmons and Donut. Grif used to work here and hold the laziness award, but he decided he would be better off in the kitchen.

Blue team consisted of Tucker, Church, and Caboose. Church was a bit stuck up, and Caboose was as dumb as the horses (No offense to Junior, of course). But Tucker has to admit, the idiot was pretty strong, and especially good at jousting.

"Hey, Tucker, have you seen my helmet?" Church asked, annoyed.

Tucker glanced around him before pointing on top of the TV where the captain had left it. Church mumbled, and snatched the helmet off of it.

"So... What's got you in a pissy mood?" The Aqua man asked nonchalantly.

"Some guys from my college are in the audience."

Tucker raised an eyebrow.

"Like who?"

"... My sister-"

Tucker jumped in the air, and peeked through the curtains to try and get a look at his hopefully hot sister.

"-and her boyfriend." Church growled through gritted teeth.

"Damn." Tucker said jokingly, and then sat back down. "Why is that a bad thing?"

"I donno man, it's just... Weird."

"Well what, did she come here to make fun of you?"

"Uhh... No... She doesn't know that I work here.

Tucker blinked, and did a retake, then asked: "... Why?!"

Church glared at him, sighing and continued to mumble to himself, yelling at Caboose on the way to his horse's stable.

Today was gonna be a long day.

~~~~~

Wash was screaming and cheering when his knight, the Aqua one, began to fight in the jousting arena. Yeah, it was all set up, but he didn't know who would win or how to fight was played out.

Wooden splintered sticks flew in all directions from the forces of the Knights' shields, and the yells of excitement from the audience rallied up all the quieter ones, including Wash.

Carolina hadn't figured out that the Cobalt knight was her brother, but Wash and York pointed it out while she was in the restroom.

That'll be a surprise later.

But right now, the fight ended with Aqua defeating Maroon, and all that was left was the boss fight.

Heck yeah.

But before the fight went down, the 'King' took a break to let the winner chose a noble citizen from their own side to be given a rose.

How cliché.

~~~~~

Tucker saw Carolina and her smug boyfriend in his side, so both were off limits, but their friend next to them seemed to be all alone.

Poor guy.

Well, not anymore.

Tucker smirked in his direction, and saw the confused smirk of the blond man. The Aqua knight hoisted himself off of Junior, and made his was to the seat we're was was.

"M'Lady.~" he said sarcastically, making the blond blush.

So worth it.

~After the show~

"Talk to him!" Carolina urged, shoving Wash in the direction of Tucker, who was taking pictures with families.

"H-He's busy..."

"Fine." York said, giving up alongside Carolina.

On the road trip home, the two were talking about how they should've forced Wash to talk to the Aqua-fied knight, but Wash would've never gotten the social skills.

So as he started at the Rose in the car, he twirled it around, and noticed something on it.

Numbers and letters, written in pen. 

123-456-7890: Don't tell Church I did this

Needless to say, Wash smiled the whole ride home.


	36. Five words

Stupid, stupid, stupid! 'I've always loved you Katie?!' What the hell was that?!

Palomo was in deep shit.

And I mean up to elbows in it.

After Kimball's amazing speech, he was so thrilled so he just-

Ugh! He hated himself right now. Tucker would probably hate him more, if that was even possible.

Why?! Why did he have to be such an Idiot?!

He ruined it.

He could've had an actual life with Katie and he just...

... Messed it all up.

It's the only thing he was good at.

Hell, Tucker hated him, Kimball wanted him out of the way, but Jensen-

... It was too much to see shattered before him.

Those five words just brought down his whole life.

His hope.

His Katie.

Everything slowed down, as if time was letting the realization sink into his brain.

Five words had just dropped the glass case that held his future.

It was worse than dying, honestly.

Imagine being forced to watch your own undoing, but at the hand of your own stupidity.

No hope.

All shattered.

Five words.

Time started to gradually speed up as Palomo's throat grew tighter with anticipating tears.

He messed up everything.

Again.

He messed up his life in five words.

As he was registering this, Jensen turned to face him, shocked.

"Wait... What?!" She shrieked.

Oh.

Oh no.

She heard him.

You always mess up everything!

It may have been the timespan of a millisecond, but it seemed like light years when the two stared at each other.

Both so afraid.

Both so confused.

Palomo had to think of something, quick.

God damn it, he's watched Scott Pilgrim a million times! If he can get himself out of these situations, so can you!

"I-Uh... Misread that! Alright, fight some bad guys, woo..."

That was great. Really man. 10/10. Freaking quality shit right there.

Jensen and Palomo just started in confusion while the rest of the crowd was cheering and the two's conversation had gone unnoticed.

Smith and Matthews were crying out as they were highfiving, but Smith shushed the other as they glanced over to their other teammates.

Jensen and Palomo, of course, didn't know this.

So Jensen just ripped off their helmets and kissed like one of those World War Two photos, where Palomo tilted her downward and Jensen had her hands around his neck.

Smith and Matthews stared at eachother before having the most excited smile behind their visors. They began whistling, trying to get Kimball and the others' attention.

After a moment, they were all looking at Smith, so he just pointed to the new couple.

Tucker yelled something along the lines of 'Dear god finally now you two can have ridiculously cute children that annoy me but I love at the same time', while others simply jumped for joy.

Today was a good day.

Palomo hadn't actually messed up.

He made Tucker proud.

He made Katie proud.

He didn't mess up five words.

Five words didn't break his hope and life...

It built on top of it.


	37. Math buddies

School is so... Boring.

Yeah, learning, socialization, blah blah blah.

Some stuff's actually cool.

Some stuff.

I mean come on, who wants to learn about some stupid thing called Project Freelancer? Bunch of money hoarding assholes if you ask me.

So here lies Felix McScouty, bored to death from math in their 'Relating to the real world: Money' Unit.

How ironic.

"Are you listening, Felix?" The counselor (see what I did there) asked, giving him a glare.

"No."

"And that attitude is exactly why I'm giving you a tutor."

Felix nearly fell off of the chair he was leaning back on.

"A tutor? A dorky kid with glasses is gonna tell me what to do?"

"Not necessarily..." The counselor taunted, a mischievous grin on his eye. He walked to the door and opened it, revealing Felix's new math buddy.

A tall guy with black hair, piercings, and tattoos was going to tutor Felix, a jock.

Well shit.

"You're my tutor?" Felix scoffed, trying to be intimidating.

"Yes." He replied in a low, grim voice.

That went over well.

~~~~~

After the counselor left, the two were left to socialize.

And by socialize, I mean have the two glare at eachother until Felix finally gave into the silence.

"So... What's your name, tough guy?"

"Locus." The punk stated blandly.

"Locus... Nice... Sounds like loco... And so does you personality-"

"I am not insane." Locus growled, a cold stare to go along with it.

"A-Alright, I got it, no psychopath jokes..."

Locus huffed and opened the math textbook to being helping his unfortunate 'student'.

Today was going to be a long day.

~~~~~

"Do you remember the formula?"

"Yeah yeah, m equals x plus b, I'm a genius-"

"It's y equals m x plus b, You need help."

"I am perfectly sane, thank you."

Locus rolled his eyes, and began to make another math problem for Felix while he rambled on.

"You know what, Locus? You and I would be badass. One psychopath and one sociopath, killin' the breeze. Literally. Everyone would be dead."

Felix shot the other a signature grin and got his foot off the table to lean forward and place his chin on his hands, intruding on Locus' personal space.

"So, you gonna except my offer? Not many spots left, snow angel~"

(The references today I'm just killing it)

"Felix, was it?" Locus asked.

Felix smirked and nodded.

"You can take your offer and shove it up an alien empire's ass."

"Oh, why not my own?"

"Dear god, where is your filter?"

"Right where my offer is."

~~~~~

After that lovely study session, the two took their own ways and headed home. The next day at school, hovered, was an adventure for everyone.

"Hey, buddy!" Felix said menacingly as he plopped down right by Locus at lunch.

"How's my favorite rebel?"

"Fine. But he would like for you to leave."

"Aw man, it's not one of those 'Talk in third person' days is it?"

Locus just glared as usual. Felix smirked as usual.

"I was, uh, wondering... Help me with my math?" Felix asked, seeming a bit unsure. Locus looked surprised if anything, and closed his book that was so rudely interrupted.

"You want me to do your homework for you?"

"N-No! Just, you know... Tutoring things."

"... Tutoring things?"

"Yeah!"

"... You are going to be the death of me."

"Hey, you love me."


	38. Sabrina the teenage... Werewolf?

"Now, welcome to the Yogscast village field trip! This town isn't just known for class visits, but a scary tale... One that involves: Werewolves! And these aren't just the hunky shirtless guys you teens see on screens; it's actual bloodshed. The silver bullet, the full moon, the alpha stories- Everything! And it is my pleasure to introduce these tales to you. As your field trip, you will all receive a card. That card is your role. There's one lone werewolf, and the rest of you are townspeople. If you all guess the werewolf by the end of the third day: You win! There will be proper trials and everything- oh, it seems I have rambled on and there is a question!"

This lady was insane.

Her name was Doctor Grey or something, and this whole Roleplaying thing was just... Wow.

Half the bus was asleep, but Simmons rose his hand in the back while Grif, his 'Secret' boyfriend, slept beside him. Simmons cleared his throat, trying to sound polite.

"So this is... Basically LARPing, ma'am?"

Doctor Grey smirked, almost with an insidious vibe, and nodded. Simmons did a whispered 'Yes' to himself.

~~~~~

"Lame." Tucker mumbled as the class stepped off the bus. Church raised an eyebrow, and shrugged.

"At least we get service hours for this crap."

"Aww, but I don't wanna..."

"Quit whining and help me open the door to our cabin."

~~~~~

"See this? This tape line? This is my side. That's yours. Keep to yourself." Simmons scolded, unpacking at the same time.

"Whatever." Grif mumbled, but had a slight smile. Who would've thought a school trip would have LARPing?

"When do we get our cards?" Grif asked.

"Tomorrow morning at breakfast, weren't you paying attention?"

"... You really want me to answer that?"

~~~~~

"North! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"What? No one said it wasn't allowed!"

"It's a cat! You can't just- No!"

"Theta gets lonely..."

"Oh my god. We are not having this conversation."

"... Please-"

"No."

"Fine, mom."

"Just... Let me pet it."

~TARDIS Timeskip~

"Good morning guys! Or should I say, ladies and gentlemen. In a couple of moments, you will receive your role card. Do not lose it, or we will staple the next one to your head. Okay, now that's through... I can finally talk to you about trails! If two people are suspicious of a town citizen, you can accuse them. They have a fair, one-day trail that determines what happens. The punishment-... Well, you'll find out. NOW GET UP AND GET YOUR CARDS!"

Most of the children dashed go get them, while some of the unenthusiastic few walked like they had weights to their legs.

"What'd you get?" Everyone was asking eachother. The rules specified that you weren't allowed to show your card, so of course, everyone said townsperson.

Yeah, not that convincing.

However, the six cabin buddies all instantly asked eachother.

"What'd you get, Tucker?"

"Townsperson. You, Wash?"

"Townsperson."

"Hey Simmons, what about you?"

"Townsperson. I'm guessing you are too."

"Nope. Werewolf."

Everyone in the group turned around to glare at him.

"J-Just kidding! God..."

"We take this game very seriously." Simmons, North, and Church all said at once.

The two dorks wee guessed, but Church was a surprise. Tucker gave him a questioning look.

"What? It sounds fun..."

"Nerd."

"Whatever."

"ATTENTION ALL TRIP RELATED PEOPLE GET YOUR ARSES- I MEAN BUTTS IN HERE!" Doctor Grey screeched over the intercom, causing all the students to flinch and cringe.

"Did someone get accused already?" Simmons asked, kind of disappointed.

"Who knows? Let's find out." Wash stated and began to walk toward stud commons.

This was going to be a long three days.


	39. -File corrupted-

HELLO

MY NAME IS CABOOSE

ME LLAMO TRAIN CAR

I LOVE KITTENS AND THE FLUFFY THINGS WITH TAILS

HOW DO I STOP YELLING

I THINK ITS THIS BUTTON oh that's better

i like being calm

Calmmmmmmmm

Calmmmmmmmm oh my god is that a kitten or is it a fluffy thing with a tail oh my god I cANT TELL THE DIFFERENCE AND NOW IM YELLIN AGAIN

SHOULD I RESTART MY INTRO

HI ME LLAMA POLICE FIRE DEPARTMENT I WORK WITH AGENT WASHING TICJDJDJDKDKFCKKC

....

Sorry about that. Caboose tends to steal keyboards and rearrange them. What do you have to say for yourself Caboose?

...

He says sorry. It's been a long time since I've logged something, so I better start out fresh.

My name is Sheila, I work at the Medical center here at project freelancer. Working here is... Interesting, and even more so with Caboose.

After two years of research with him, and working here for two years (he was my first patient), I would like to point out some major developments. Much like Charlie Gordon, he has his waves of ups and downs.

You see, Caboose is a strong person mentally, meaning he sees himself that way. However, he will except anyone else's ideas, even if they don't have evidence to back them up. This is strange to me, but it seems like he's living two different worlds:

One in his head, and one before his eyes.

Both are extremely different and challenging with obstacles, but in his own, he says it's easier to be smart.

I, personally, do not think that is true.

Caboose is easily the most friendly, sympathetic and kind person I've ever met. He's considerate of others, but sometimes doesn't always see the final outcome and consequence.

Most people make mistakes, right? He just happens to make more than others...

The best thin for Caboose right now is to have friends. And he does! One man named Church pays his medical fee, but doesn't visit as often. John Smith visits frequently, and even bought him a stuffed cat...

He named it Freckles.

I hate to say it, but I think that cat's a better psychologist than me...

Leave it to women to have their primal instinct let them get jealous over a cat.

Anyway, I'll try to keep updating more often, as the board is trying to decide if Caboose will be released soon.

~~~~~

Today has been a long day.

Caboose had nothing to do with it, in fact he tried to help, but... Sometimes things don't end up as planned.

This being a place full of psychological patients, there are, unfortunately, some violent ones.

And I mean really violent.

Caboose can't eat lunch in my office, but also doesn't want to go to the cafeteria. So, he usually eats right outside my door, in case he has a random question (As he usually does). Today, Agent Maine, or preferred to be called The Meta, taunted Caboose, causing Caboose to get angry. Luckily, my patient and I have gone over keeping our cool many times, so he didn't fight back.

But in all, I still felt nothing but guilt when I saw the nearly black bruise on Caboose's face.

I've given him about six ice packs now, profusely apologizing that I didn't hear him before.

Oh god... I really shouldn't have read that Charlie Gordon story. This is not helping.

~~~~~

Today was better! Great, actually! Although the fight put a bit of a stump on Caboose record, the Board completely understood, and now Caboose can be released and hang out with people that care!

Not that I don't! It's just... He's spent two years with me. He probably is bored of all my random fun facts.

Well, it looks like an end to this diary blog, I doubt Caboose is going to come back to my office for any further help, so I'll put this as a fire put out.

Not bad, Sheila. Not bad.

~~~~~

(Previous Data unauthorized. Invalid Passcode.)

My name is Caboose.

I love kittens and cats, and I love to learn new things.

I used to go to this hospital a year ago, and now I can use a keyboard! I can read and write! I can have exclamation points!

But nothing compares to my doctor. I would not have been able to be where I am without her. She is funny and smart. Sheila was my doctor.

Because of her, I am Caboose.

And I will always love her because of that.

-FILE END-


	40. Pet names

Kimball was currently cleaning up weapons and supplies when Carolina came stumbling inside, laughing and hiding her stomach due to the pain of it. At first, it looked like she had been drugged with the way she stumbled, but it was a legitimate smile and expression of joy. Curious, Kimball shut the door behind her in case she actually was drugged.

"What's going on? What's so funny? Did you get drugged-"

"I... I have to tell you what just happened-" The normally angry redhead broke into another fit of giggles, covering her face while doing so, "-This... Is gonna be a long story."

~10 minutes earlier~

"Wash, you need to do roll call, I'm going to make sure that the training weapons aren't actual weapons." Carolina commanded, heading over to the weapon shelf.

Wash nodded, and looked at the Reds  
and Blues in front of him.

They were a mess, that's for sure.

It was only eight in the morning, but everyone except Simmons looked like he life has been sucked out of them. So much for a good training session.

Wash started to call out the names of troops, going in alphabetical order. All of them sounded like they were dead.

"Grif?"

No reply. Just as Wash was about to mark him off, a snore erupted from the Orange captain. Wash sighed.

"Simmons, can you wake-"

Simmons slapped the sleeping bear without a second thought. He woke up instantly.

"Here." Grif muttered.

Wash nodded, and continued to call names. Simmons was here, Palomo and Matthews were no where to be found, and then-

"Fucker."

Silence.

"I-I- wait, shit! I mean- god damn it!"

Carolina was stopping an incoming laughing fit with all her strength. Grif was on the floor with Simmons, giggling like all hell.

And then there was Tucker, who was still standing, had the biggest smirk on his face.

That fucker.

"You're an ass." Wash mumbled as everyone was laughing at him.

"Well, you said I was a fucker so-"

"I swear on Caboose, I will stab you- Great. Just great. Now we'll never practice."

"Oh, and I thought I would love up o my name, sweetie-"

"Ten laps."

"Wh-"

"You heard me. Ten laps around the base. No exceptions."

"Fucker."

~Back to the future~

Kimball nearly spit out her drink as Carolina explained Wash's mess up.

"I've gotta say... That's the best story since Palomo and Jensen finally started dating."

"True that," Carolina stated, calming down from her laughter, "Those two just needed a slight shove. I hope Tucker and Wash aren't any different."

Kimball raised an eyebrow.

"They're a thing? Or- should be? How do you suspect that?"

"I think I would know how my own brother reacts around someone he's crazy with."

Kimball had to pause to take in the previously distributes information.

"Your brother?!"

Carolina looked slightly surprised at her response, but further explained anyway.

"Yeah, we're siblings... I thought you of all people would've noticed...?"

"But... State names..."

Carolina hesitated, and gave a nod of agreement before smiling again.

"Hey, at least that's out of the way. Speaking of him, let's go mess with him anoint Tucker the whole day."

Kimball usually would've scolded someone for such childish behavior, but Carolina was one of the few good fighters that seemed to have fun every now and then.

So why the hell not?

"Honestly, I've got a stack of paper I'm procrastinating. So let's dye his bed sheets Aqua."

"Now you're talking!" Carolina cheered.

~~~~~

Fucker.

He called Tucker Fucker.

This is just like kindergarten when he thought shirt was pronounced 'Shit'.

Speaking of shit: His life was full of it.

Carolina styled off laughing during the disaster of a training program, so now he had no one to talk to about his innocent mistake.

That is, until Tucker not-so-smoothly stood next to him on the roof.

Wash sighed dramatically.

"Can I not have any privacy? Especially after today?"

"Everyone screws up Wash, you're not the only one who said that."

Wash raised an eyebrow, and asked almost a bit offended: "Who else has called you that?"

"My mother." Tucker joked, probably a huge grin behind his visor.

Well, at least he wasn't mad about it, but he said it in front of all of his friends. That's gotta be about seven years of teasing and elementary-level insults.

"Sorry about calling you Fucker."

"Well, it's not everyday you curse-"

"Shut up, I'm being serious."

"And they call me dramatic."

"You are, you fucker."

"You see, now that's just plain rude."


	41. YouTubers AU

"Hello geeks! It's Simmons again with another update- Dragon con! I'll be able to go this year with a couple of others, and I can't wait to see you all on Saturday! MaroonGamer: Out."

Simmons turned off the camera, paused, and then squealed like a five year old.

He jumped around, throwing fake punches into the air, because this is his first panel. Never would he have thought that he would poor be the one signing autographs. Maybe dreams do come true.

A second later, the phone rang, and Simmons had to act cool once he picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Uhh Simmons? Why did your voice drop eight octaves over the weekend?"

"Um... Nevermind. What's up?"

"Well... We're doing a panel at Dragon Con for a start-"

"I know!" Simmons interrupted, letting out another squeak of joy.

Grif winced at the other end of the line, and sighed, but was still smiling and Simmons knew it.

"How early do you want to get there?"

"A day or two, I want to actually see other stuff too."

"You mean cosplay."

"Yes. And that too."

Grif sighed again.

"We can't exactly cosplay unless we wear a mask-"

"WE CAN BE THE WHITE FANG PEOPLE FROM RWBY!" Simmons screeched, damaging Grif's ears.

There was no stopping him now.

~~~~~

Grif was secretly stressed out about the whole running a panel thing, because the whole point he did videos was because he didn't want to talk in front of people.

And now he's doing a god damn panel.

How ironic.

However, the panel would consist of fans, nerds, and mostly Grif and Simmons' kinda alley. So that at least weighted out the con of the con.

Wait.

That sentence just hurt my head.

Get it together, Grif! It's not like you're proposing to Simmons or something!

That sentence didn't help with the situation either.

Altogether, Grif was a mess. Woo hoo.

~~~~~

Costume: Check

Laptop with files: Check

Sanity: I'VE LOST IT

Simmons was freaking out for mostly happy reasons. He was pumped to go to Dragon con and meet awesome people.

However... Crowds and socializing weren't his forte.

Panic attacks were switching off between the two YouTubers, so the two decided to relax by creating a stupid little video.

Grif came over at about the 43rd time Simmons had called him asking about shades of paint.

Simmons had set up the cameras and chairs, having nothing else better to do. He recalled Grif's words clearly:

Don't be a bitch, just do something else for a bit.

Honestly, it worked. Although his friend never had the talent of getting his words across professionally, it was still good advice.

So yes, Simmons kept himself distracted for a bit until Grif came over, hauling pizza boxes and a envelope with Panel instructions of what to talk about and such.

God, this is so stressful, and here we are eating pizza.

"I said do you want one slice or two?" Grif said a bit louder, trying to catch his attention. Simmons shook his head like a character out of Scooby-Doo, and muttered two.

Oh, so it was one of those days.

After the set-up had been... Well, set up, the two plopped down on the couch and began to eat the pizza.

Simmons did the normal thingy he did where he would curl up, knees to chest, and watch Doctor Who. Grif himself, however, sprawled out like a freaking blanket of warmness, and focused more on the guy next to him instead of the actual British plot that was on-screen.

Grif would be the first to admit that he wanted to be more than friends.

Simmons wasn't sure what Grif wanted, so he just became content where he was like a little lost puppy.

Huh. Maybe Grif should get him a puppy.

Wait.

Why the hell would I get him a-

"Because you're oblivious you stupid sim trooper" A mysterious person called out into his brain, from beyond the forth wall.

Grif sighed, and knew that the voice of his insanity was right... Although that sentence out of context may sound a bit psychotic.

Whatever. Grow a pair of something besides man boobs and ask the nerd on a date!

"Hey, Simmons?" Grif asked.

"Yeah?"

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

"You... Mean all religious and stuff-"

"No, I mean on this couch in the middle of your living room, eating pizza and watching Doctor Who."

Simmons had no reply, so he just shrugged.

"Do you think it's some stupid fate thing?" Grif asked, but it seemed slightly to himself as an out-loud thought.

"In a way... Yes. I do think fate may have a role."

"Oh... Well then..." Grif cleared his throat and shifted a little, then smirked, "Did it hurt?"

Simmons spit out his drink almost instantly, and grimaced, while laying wildly at the same time.

"If I say yes to your horrible pick up line will you take me on a damn date?"

"I-I... Uh, that was the point-"

"Good. Because I don't need to hear the rest of it. Now finish your damn pizza."


	42. Grocery baggage

"Sheila! Can we get cereal- Oh! What about this can of beans! Wait-"

Caboose was a handful. There was no doubt in that, but it was kind of in a sweet way. He never meant any harm, but he could still be a bit... Much.

Sheila thought that Caboose was a lot like Lennie from Of Mice and Men. He was in an adult body, but a childish sense at heart. He was so innocent, and honestly it was adorable.

So when Sheila said she had to go to the grocery store, Caboose's eyes widened in curiosity.

"What's a grocery store?" He asked.

"It's like a... Place where people buy food."

"Oh. Okay. I want to buy food!"

Sheila crossed her arms, but had a slight smile while she did so. She grabbed her coat, along with Caboose's, and picked up the car keys from the counter.

"Well... Then let's go."

~~~~~

"There are people here." Caboose whispered loudly, leaning down so he didn't attract attention with his fall figure.

Caboose was rather shy when it came to public places, but if you put him in a more secure setting, like a house, he would be his usual self. It's not always the people that bothered him, however, there are millions of exceptions.

So when Sheila took him to locations like these, she was in overprotective-mother-hen mode.

"Sheila... Can we get this?" Caboose asked, holding up a bag of gummy worms.

It wasn't everyday that a seven foot tall person sounded like a child and asked for gummy worms. This is something Sheila never got used to, but in a way, it made it all the more capable.

"You can get them if you behave, alright? Now let's try and get some healthier food."

"Oh! I love healthy things!"

~~~~~

"I do not think I like healthy things." Caboose mumbled, crossing his arms stubbornly. He didn't exactly know what healthy meant, but now he hated the term.

"It's just broccoli, it tastes pretty good!" Sheila tried to convince.

"No. It looks like a tree. Trees taste bad."

Sheila raised an eyebrow, but decided to not question his thought process. She wondered how long it would be until he became mature and catch up with the rest of the world.

To be selfish, she never wanted him to.

Sheila was always way to serious, as many people have told her. 'Stop trying to fix things' or 'Calm down and take a break' were many overused phrases she had heard in her lifetime.

Caboose was the perfect break for Sheila.

So happy domestic grocery store disagreements were the most happiness Sheila's had all day. Call her crazy.

"Caboose, if you eat the broccoli today, I'll let you get gummy worms...?"

Caboose's stubborn face broke into a smile.

"If I can eat gummy worms I'll do anything!"

Caboose would probably kill for gummy worms.

"Alright, alright, go get your candies; I'll pick some broccoli out."


	43. Palomeo and Jensenette

Palomo externally sighed as he was told to go to the library by his college professor. Books. Nerds. Even more books.

It's not that he didn't like it there, but it was mostly that the student librarian hated his guts.

Her name was Katie Jensen, a quirky girl who Palomo had asked out.

She turned him down.

It was brutal.

It wasn't like Palomo was really confident and polite about it, he kinda just... Built up the pair to ask her.

So he stuttered: "H-Hey... I know we've been friends for a while, a-and I was wondering... Do you want to go out sometime?" and ended up just getting told 'No' while she went back to putting up books.

Well isn't she just a ray of sunshine.

However, she was having a bad day during that time. Palomo talked to her, a lot, or... Used too. She was normally an upbeat person, bit of a klutz, but overall had good intentions and wanted to do something with her life.

Palomo was just a kid who was lucky to get accepted into college.

Let's hope it doesn't get awkward asking for books...

~~Of course it will~~

Jensen was having a good day right up until her Volleyball friend started nagging her about Palomo.

Yes, she liked him.

No, she wasn't good when it came to dating and such.

It was just... Confusing. It's not like anything was wrong with Palomo, but Jensen herself didn't think that she was ready for that. She was just a nerdy girl at al college, after all.

But after about three months of the two awkwardly avoiding each other in classes, she thought that maybe she was the guilty one.

Oh, to hell with it. She was absolutely the problem.

Palomo was such a nice kid (I mean yeah, he can get on your nerves but who can't?), and Jensen turned him down like a slap to the face.

She may have thought he was kidding at first.

Yeah.

That awkward.

Jensen sighed as she put up books in the romance section. How ironic. If only she wasn't so stubborn, maybe dating Palomo wouldn't be all that bad.

They were best friends since they were in diapers. Palomo didn't really see it that way, since they went to different schools, but the two almost always hung out and played video games.

Ah, the good old days where nap time existed and you didn't have to worry about girly romantic interests.

Honestly, Jensen never would've thought she would like like someone. It was just... Weird. It's not like she needs that in her life, but at the same time, it wouldn't be all that bad.

Sometimes it might be nice to have someone who won't stab you in the back.

At one point, without the whole heart eyes involved, the two were inseparable. They even went to the same college.

But he asked her... She just wasn't ready.

Jensen felt guilty as all hell.

If she did tell him everything going through her thoughts, he might understand.

But what if he thinks she's lying? Some whole excuse-sham?.

Ugh, life was confusing.

Maybe she should just not talk to anyone and curl up in a ball and-

"Where's the nonfiction section?" A quiet voice asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"By the back entrance!" She beamed, trying to sound happy. Jensen didn't even turn around as she continued to put of the paper stories.

"Thank you..." Palomo muttered, walking off-

Wait.

"Palomo?!" Jensen asked, seeming surprised. Her friend was caught like a deer in the headlights, looking both guilty and shocked.

"I-I, uh, heh... I'll j-just... Go now." Palomo stuttered, quickly walking over to the other end of the library.

He could get his damn book when he's dead.

"Palomo, wait!" Jensen called, zig-zagging her way through the library shelves to tag up with him. With him within reaching distance, she grabbed his sleeve, only causing the two to fall.

On top of eachother.

Ain't life a bitch?

"S-Sorry!" Jensen yelped, sitting up and away from him instantly.

Palomo sighed as he sat up, making sure his backpack wasn't destroyed, and sling it over his shoulder, not making eye contact with anyone.

But, before he could stand up-

"Hey... We haven't been friends for a while, considering that we usually are, and I know o was a bit rude and all and I don't have good enough excuses, so... Do you want to go out sometime?" Jensen asked.

Palomo was a statue in place.

"I-I... I don't know what to say, I-"

"Yes or no...?"

"Well.. I mean, if you want to- I know you asked, but sometimes... God I'm so awkward."

"Join the club, Palomeo. Join the club. And I'm guessing your answer is a yes."

"Absolutely."


	44. Short Kid's Club AU

"He's gonna be fine. If I can do it, so can he!" Theta exclaimed.

"I am unsure about that statement, Theta." Delta stated bluntly.

"Why?"

"Because he's about to fall- now."

Their friend fell over from down the driveway, on the concrete and holding his ankle.

"Oh no-" Theta didn't finish his sentence before running to the poor kid.

"Junior, are you alright?" He asked.

The small boy with fluffy hair shook his head, hugging his knee tighter to help with his ankle.

Normally, it would've been fine. But seeing your blood drip down the driveway, was not.

"We should do the best option, which is finding a trustworthy adult to help up while one of us stays with Junior." Delta pointed out.

"I'll stay with him. You take my skateboard- hurry!"

Delta picked up the skateboard Junior was attempting to use; luckily, it didn't have blood on it.

As he left, Theta was left to try and comfort this kid that had just moved in yesterday who was mute.

How do you comfort someone you know nothing about?

"I'm so sorry... I-I didn't think that you'd get hurt or anything! I just thought-"

Theta's thoughts were cut short by a sincere smile from the smaller boy. Smiles like that at this day and age seemed rare.

~~~~~

After what seemed like a year for Junior, he saw Tucker walking towards him, and then sprinting at the speed of light when he was close enough to see blood.

"J-Junior?! Are you okay?! Wait- Stupid question. I'll carry you back to the house. Theta and Delta... Well your parents aren't home, so are you up to a ride to the hospital?"

Seeing as they had no other choice, both boys nodded.

~~~~~

While Tucker was a nervous reck, Theta was dwelling in his own guilt and Delta, of course, was distracting himself by identifying everyone else's Injuries.

"Mr. Tucker...?" Theta asked quietly.

Tucker looked at him, and gave a slight smile, "Yeah, buddy?"

"I'm sorry for breaking your child who is also my friend."

Okay, first of all, even though that sentence is correct, that's adorable.

"I'm not mad at you guys or anything, just... A bit worried about Junior is all. It's not like he's never gonna get injured, you know? It's a part of growing up."

Theta let out a huge sigh of relief, but was still upset with the fact that it had been nearly three hours and no word of Junior. He knew if wasn't life-threatening, but who wouldn't be a bit stressed out?

"Theta, Delta, are you alright?" Carolina asked, seeing her two boys next to Tucker.

"They're fine, don't worry. And so am I, thanks for asking." Tucker sarcastically replied, earning a glare from Carolina. Her gaze softened again as she continued to talk.

"Is Junior alright? Any word of him yet?"

"No, they haven't come out yet to tell me anything... Where's your man candy?" Tucker joked, trying to keep a happy mood.

"York is in a meeting. I texted him, and he said the second it ends he's coming over here. What about yours?"

Tucker scoffed, waving his hand.

"I haven't dated someone since highschool! I've got Junior, and that's all I need."

Carolina indiscreetly coughed out 'Wash' which earned a glare from Tucker and two confused faces from her children.

"It's an adult thing-"

"Lavernius Tucker?" A nurse called, looking around the guest room.

"That'd be me, ma'am."

~~~~~

"You're so lucky you get to sit down all day!" Theta exclaimed as the group of small friends did homework at Theta and Delta's house.

Junior had to cast a cast, and for a couple weeks he got to have a wheelchair. Tucker painted flames on it.

It looked majestic.

"Wheelchairs do seem... Fun." Delta hesitantly said, earning a smile from the younger boy.

"So... Wanna see who can win a race? Wheelchair or skateboard?"

Needless to say, the boys dropped their homework and dashed outside.


	45. B3ACON#

Wash wasn't the most sociable of students at Beacon. He did exceptional in his classes, but presentations and making friends weren't something he would get an A plus in.

So when the day came for pairing teams, he was worried beyond belief. What if he got some jerk? What if they found out his secret?

Claws on the inside of his guts started to metaphorically kill Wash. If someone ever found out, his life would be over.

No one can know his secret.

No one can know who he is.

Let's hope that it stays like this.

~~~~~

Beacon is freaking amazing.

Tucker repeated this many times in his head as he walked around campus, exploring all the sections he was limited to. He couldn't wait to fight monsters and go on adventures, but before that was grades.

Just one tiny little detail.

Tucker mentally groaned at all the studying he would have to do. He only hoped that his selected partner was good with the nerdy stuff.

As the lovely walk around campus continued, Tucker continued to think about how in the world he was going to survive the partner challenge, where the first person you met eye contact with would be with you for the next four years.

Let's hope his luck doesn't run out.

"All new students, please report to the dining hall." The megaphone boomed a bit louder than Tucker was ready for. Maybe it was just his nerves? Oh god, he's getting all nervous. Can people sense nervousness? Is that a thing? Is that-

"Ouch" Tucker and a stranger yelped as they fell over eachother and onto the concrete.

"S-Sorry" the other one mumbled, quickly collecting his books.

"My bad, I wasn't watching where I was going," Tucker said quickly, helping the blond pick up the mess they've made.

After helping him up, he handed him his possessions, and stuck out his hand.

"Hi. My name's Tucker, I'm a newcomer. And you are...?"

"David, but my friends call me Wash. I'm guessing since we're in the same grade, we're heading the same direction?" Wash asked, tilting his ball-cap a bit downwards.

"Yeep-a-Doo."

"Nice, mind if I- wait, Yeep-a-Doo?" Wash asked, giving him a Sam Winchester bitch face.

"What? It's fun to say!"

"Yeah, but not when you're giving first impressions."

"I thought mothers said to be yourself?"

"Yeah, and look where that got them!"

"... You. I like you. You're down to Earth."

"U-Um... Thanks?"

Tucker smirked, laughing along with the new friend he'd just made.

Maybe this year won't be as crap-filled as he thought.

~~~~~

Wash knew that when him and Tucker became roommates with Simmons and Grif that they were going to find out.

However, it was up to Wash if it was on purpose or on accident.

He could just tell them, but... Easier said than done.

But he probably should've gone with the first option.

After a friendly training session with Tucker, Bam.

As Wash tripped and fell to the ground, his hat flew off his head-

There lies his fluffy, grey cat ears.

Wash was a Faunus.

David wanted to do nothing more that run away or curl up in a pit, but Tucker didn't react. In fact, he remained the same.

"You... You're not-"

"I guessed it. I mean, c'mon, baseball cap? Gotta go for something a little more clever these days: Like a bow or something!" Tucker joked, showing that same smile as always.

Wash was happy with Beacon after that.

He was happy with his team.

He was happy with his partner.

He was happy with Tucker.


	46. Books are boring (Not)

Felix was so tired.

He could probably pass out right here, right now.

As you can tell, Felix was the usual college student: Average grades, lots of parties, and morning hatred.

Ah, what a world.

Whenever Felix got detention, he got sent to the library to do some reading on his subjects and study on some rough spots.

In all honesty, he didn't need it. He was fine with straight B's, and actually put effort into the above-average grading. His parents were rich snobs that knew some people, so that's the only reason he got into this school.

Talk about a huge letdown.

While think about life and other shitty things, Felix didn't realize that he had officially ended up falling asleep, thinking about jumping sheep and whatnot. He was peaceful.

Some others, however, were not...

~~~~~

Locus was a usual at the library. No socialization after classes, just the usual studying and straight A's.

He was quiet, not the loud type, but he wouldn't hesitate to snap your neck if you annoyed him.

He's not insane; I promise.

Locus was currently reading a book about Human Geography, when smack.

The boy he was sitting across from fell asleep.

On his book.

Locus tried to take his book back from under him, but damn this guy could slow down on the donuts.

"Excuse me." He tried, tugging on his book.

No response.

"Sir."

If he's not dead, he's going to be soon.

"Sir." Locus growled, and manage to make the surrounding students jump.

Of course, Felix has awoken from his rude slumber, and blinked when he saw Locus.

"Can I help you?" He ignorantly started.

"You're on my book."

Felix paused, looked down, then smirked.

"Oh, would you look at that. Guess I am."

"Give it back."

"No can do, cheesecake-"

"Now." Locus growled, figuratively making Felix and the table quiver.

Felix gulped, seeing as this scary guy did not want to be messed with. He was grumpy, trying to study, and was clearly avoiding sitting next to prissy popular kids.

"Uh... Bad start..." Felix lifted himself off the scary man's book.

"Hi, I'm Felix. I'm here because I'm forced to be. Wanna be partners?"

"Did you really think that going to work?"

"Works on the ladies." Wink.

Locus shot another deadly glare towards the Idiot's glance,,but quickly regained his sanity.

"You were here first, so I can not tell you to go screw yourself. I will be leaving to another table now. Have an awful day."

The amount of monotone and calmness in Locus voice was the equal amount of question marks floating around Felix's head. Who was this guy? What was his problem? Why the hell didn't he leave me his number?

Felix scrambled his book bag into his arms and dashed after this mysterious Sirius Snape serial killer.

"So... You doin' anything after school?" Felix asked with a cheesy grin.

"I'll be in my room. Alone. Studying."

"If ya want, I can set up a few candles for you and your page-turning date."

"Nice pun, but I'm sure my book and I would rather be set on fire by these candles."

"Ouch! Your loss..."

"I believe that it would've been a gain."

"I'm not that cheap, you've only met me for a span of four-hundred-sixty seven words!"

"You made that number up."

"What are you gonna do, prove me wrong and count them? Anyways, just... Mind if we hang out? You seem to tolerate me and I need someone to back me up for tutoring."

"Ugh... Why me?"

"Cause you're cute~"

Locus stopped in his tracks, glaring.

"I'm what?"

"Cute. Y'know, adorable with fat cheeks."

"I am none of the above."

"This isn't a multiple choice test, Spock."

"Well maybe you should pay more attention to your logic than you got, Kirk."

It was now Felix's turn to pause and turn to the newly discovered closet nerd.

"Did we just become best friends?"

"I wouldn't say best... But then again, you're now officially my only friend."

"Well..." Felix stated smugly, draping an arm across Locus' shoulders.

"More fun for me, partner~"


	47. Books are STILL (Not) boring

Locus was done with all of his finals. He's waiting for the results, but he think he did pretty well. The grades were going to show up tonight, and this was going to decide if he could be an agent or not.

Even as a kid, Locus liked to play FBI, solve crimes, beat the bad guys up, and drive around the neighborhood in a kiddie police car.

In his opinion, his origin story sounded a lot like Nicholas Angel from Hot Fuzz (Great movie), and honestly, he didn't mind a single bit.

Yes, he needed to switch off that melodramatic brain of his sometimes, but it was difficult to slam on the brakes when you're heading towards the cliff. Felix was like a passenger that messed with the car's functions to make it come to a screeching halt.

Yes, Locus got some whiplash from acting normal, but eventually, the pain became... Good. It became a healthy habit.

Locus was always the outlier, the outcast, and nearly any other noun or adjective that has a prefix of out.

But now he's normal. And he, strangely enough, has Felix to thank.

However, as Felix came bursting into the dorm room during Locus' nap, the awoken giant wanted to strange him.

Sadly, only a muffled growl got vocalized through the pillows. Locus was about get up, but Felix tackled him, constructing him in some form of cuddling/army hold. Locus sighed.

"What are you do-"

"I passed! I passed the test you helpful little shit! I'm gonna be a god damn FBI agent!" Felix exclaimed, his snake hold suffocating the other even more.

"Wh-Wait, the passing students were posted? Show me!"

Felix grinned as wide as his sanity would let him, and finally let go.

"Don't worry. You passed with flying colors of the rainbow."

"I... What rank of the class?"

Felix winked "First."

Locus' world seemed to freeze. This is what he's always wanted. Someone who supported him and a dream job that would keep him constantly on his toes and excited with every step. He wanted the challenges, but the first being able to prove your worth in college.

And he did it.

Locus gave Felix and attack hug, way more tight than any of Felix's. The two were laughing, talking about the future as they heated up leftover pizza. It seemed so domestic. So normal.

So peaceful.

They both knew it wasn't their style, but hey, it's the longest break they've had in a while. They deserved this.

~~~~~

"Agent McScouty."

"That's not your actual last name."

"Oh? What's yours, Mr. Mysterious Boyfriend?"

"..."

"Exactly. Damn it, if I'm ever having a kid his last name is McScouty. You can't stop me."

"Yes, actually, I can."

"... Possibly."

"Absolutely."

"If I say yes will you let me name my son McScouty?!"

"... Fine." Locus smiled, as he learned a long time ago that sometimes it's better off if you give in o something stupid.

Take Felix, for instance.

"Yes. Sharkface McScouty. I can see it now."

Locus shook his head, and started to wander off from Felix as he started to talk to himself. It took the Sharkface father five minutes before he realized that Locus was holding two coffee cups.

"Where'd you get that from?"

"The coffee shop..?"

"When?"

"Just now."

"But- I was talking!"

"Yes. And it was annoying... So I left."

Felix poured, but couldn't help but start to laugh. Felix acting childish always ended with him breaking due to Locus' reactions to it.

"I swear, you're gonna be the death of me, Loco."

"Ditto here, Jerk."

"Ouch. My feels."

"... I'm not gonna ask."

"It's a fangirl term, gosh..."

Locus sighed, handing Felix his coffee S they continued walking along the campus. They had a long road ahead of them.

Ah, what the hell, why not crack a few jokes along the way?

It was all part of a routine called healthy habit.

Sometimes... You just need a complete asshole to help you regain you sanity.

...

Trust me, it'll make sense later.


	48. Halloween is for Weenies AU

"Halloween is a child's holiday." Carolina dead panned, crossing her arms at Wash's ridiculous statement. Wash sighed, still dressed up as Neptune from RWBY, and eventually gave in to Carolina's words.

"Yes, it is a bid... Childish... But that doesn't mean you can't have fun either. Hallows eve was originally the scariesk day of the year, and-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, blue head, I get it. I'll dress up for the party... Also, why are you blue?"

"... I'm Neptune. I-It's from a show."

"Ah. And I'm guessing Tucker is going as the significant other."

Wash raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

"Neptune doesn't have one. I mean, he's shipped a lot, but I don't recall anyone as of now..."

"Then who is he going as?"

"No idea.."

"Huh. That'll be interesting to see."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. Let's just stop by party city so I can get an over-expensive costume...

After Wash made sure that Carolina's costume looked presentable, the two drove to Tucker's party; Wash being excited, Carolina being regretful of ever listening to Wash. It wasn't usual when the two siblings hung out, especially since Carolina has a better reputation than her own brother.

Wash may or may not have gotten a grappling hook stuck to his... Never mind.

Long story short, very few people at school even knew that them being related was a possibility. But the two wanted it to stay that way.

No bitchy sister.

No shameful brother.

Ignorance was bliss, after all.

The few who were aware of this bit of information were Grif and Epsilon, and Epsilon was their baby brother.

Well, not baby, but he was still in elementary school.

Wash thought about telling Tucker, his year old boyfriend, about the whole sibling thing, but it was just awkward to talk about. Especially if your twin sister can kick your ass at fights.

So for now, Tucker was oblivious to the whole situation. Then again, Carolina didn't know that he was dating Tucker. She just thought they were really good friends.

This night is going to be tension in a compressed can.

~~~~~

Wash pulled up to Tucker's driveway, which revealed Grif and Simmons about to walk in. Wash didn't talk to them often, but he knew they were good friends of Tucker's. Assholes, but good friends.

Wash awkwardly walked behind them as Carolina glared ahead, not wanting to be a foot near this party.

"Hey guys! Candy is all thrown on the table inside, you can thank Junior for that... Hyperactive child..." Tucker trailed off as he opened the door. He have highfives to Grif and Simmons, revived a glare from Carolina, and only Wash stayed next to him. He kept the inner blush as he looked at his boyfriend's costume.

He was Sun.

From RWBY.

Why did Carolina always have to be right?

"Nice, Carolina's dressed as Frankinstien... Why is she here? No offense or anything, I just don't see her as the party person..."

"I forced her to go. Long story."

"Ohhhh. I've got about forty-eight hours until the weekend ends, so..." Tucker smirked, waiting for Wash to explain. The blond sighed, and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well... I was driving here anyway, I asked if she wanted to come, she told me Halloween was stupid, so I brought her here.

"So you guys are neighbors?"

Ah, Wash thought, to hell with it.

"Close, but no. We're twins."

Tucker coughed, regaining his position and taking in Wash's words.

"Siblings?! You two are- Wait- That-"

"Don't think about it too hard sweetie, your head will start to hurt."

Tucker crossed his arms and grumbled, looking like a pouty child before returning to normal.

"Does she know about us?"

"Nope."

"Oh. Damn."

"It's not that easy to explain."

"No, no it's cool. Just making sure I shouldn't serenade you or something."

"Please don't."

~~~~~

Carolina wandered andounf the house, her Frankinstien nail-headband starting to construct her head. Once she was in a corner of sorts, she took it of, and tried to flex the cheap plastic.

"You know, keep bending it and it's going to snap in half." A woman said from out of Carolina's view.

She turned to face her, and saw the same brand of cheap costuming, but as Frankinstien's bride. The woman has makeup that looked like blood, and had plastic nails sticking out of her tall wig.

"Yeah, this stuff's pretty horrible... I'm Carolina... You are?"

"Kimball. Just moved in on the street with a couple of friends. Tucker's my neighbor... He can be annoying, but he still manages to somehow not be an ass at the same time."

"Trust me, I know the feeling."

"So... Frankinstien, why are you here?" Kimball asked, looking quite curious of what the redhead had to say.

"Uh... Brother dragged me here. Him and Tucker are friends. His name's Wash."

Kimball opened her mouth to correct Carolina on something, but decided that she best keep quiet.

"I see... Are you going trick-or-treating?"

"Wasn't planning on it..." I'll only go if you're there. Carolina cursed at her mental completion of the sentence.

"Well, your brother dragged you here, it's polite if you go through with it, do t you think?" Kimball took a drink of soda from her solo cup, the two looking like Ramona and Scott Pilgrim.

This night doesn't look like it's going to be so bad.


	49. Hallow's Weenie AU Part 2

"We need a better word. It sounds... Childish." Carolina said at the mention of 'Trick or Treating'. The others nodded in agreement, and on the route to their first house started to plan some ideas.

"Candy hunting?"

"Sweet saving?"

"Stealing?"

"It's not stealing candy Simmons, it's taking a huge handful out of bowls that say take one. Take one 'what'? One bowl?"

"You know what they mean, fatass."

Many conversations took different turns, but overall the night was off to a great start. People were getting along and Tucker hasn't accidentally spilled a secret about anything.

Let's avoid that drama... For now.

"Trick or treat, give me something good to eat! I'm currently living on the street, help me find some stuff to eat!" Kai cheered as an adult opened the door. Grif elbowed her in the side as discreetly as he could, and apologized to the woman for Kai. She hesitated on actually giving them something, but the teens still got their candy. The second the door closed, Grif started to scold Kai as Kimball stated that she was going to take another route.

"My house is this direction, and I'm going to get some candy along the way. Thanks for inviting me Tucker!" She smiled, waving goodbye and began walking the other direction.

"I'll go with her. It might not be safe to go alone." Carolina said as she ran to catch up with her. Tucker and Wash knew just as well as the next person that this neighborhood was safe.

They assumed that Carolina was just being nice... Until-

"Okay. Ten bucks say they start dating within the next week." Grif challenged.

"What the hell! Don't bet on Carolina dating someone! She'll rip your head off!" Wash hissed.

"What? Begging on people is fun. Especially since Simmons and I's old bet is still looking good." Grif smirked, making Simmons glare back.

"Okay, first of all." Tucker began, holding up his hands to stop the small Candy stealing group, "You knew that Carolina was Wash's sister?!"

The party was silent, and then each of them nodded.

"Wash, what the hell man-"

"Just please get to your second question." Grif interrupted, trying to help Wash a bit.

"Fine... What was your last bet?"

"Secret." Both Grif and Simmons said.

"Oh that's bull-"

"Wait, the last bet? Isn't that about those two guys who you were sure we're dating but they were too gay to admit it?" Kai asked around.

Grif facepalmed.

"Who? I would say Donut and Doc, but they're so open about everything, so who did you bet on?" Wash asked.

"I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with 'Posh Fucker'."

The street fell silent as Tucker and was looked at eachother in horror of realization.

Wash was about to defend himself, by Tucker shrugged, and said, "About time. Took you guys a damn year to catch on."

"A year?! The hell guys?!" Grif yelled, offended.

"Keep your voice down! Carolina might hear you!"

~~~~~

"Thanks Carolina, but you didn't have to walk me to my house." Kimball thanked as the two visited the last house before hers.

"It's no problem, really. I'd rather talk to you than those idiots."

Kimball laughed, and nodded her head in agreement. It's been a while since she could talk to someone without any secondhand worries or doubts.

It was nice. Nice and comforting.

As they reached the doorstep, the two exchanged numbers and wished eachother a good night.

The door closed, and Carolina whispered a small 'Yes!' In a hushed voice.

She was about to enter the number into her phone when-

"A year?! What the hell guys?!"

Carolina frowned, a bit worried about the type of argument, and silently edged closer to the party, trying to stay out of sight.

"I don't care if she hears us! A damn year and you never told us? I thought we were bro's!" Grif yelled.

"Just- look. No one else knows. No one. If you tell a soul in going to beat your head in the ground until it's paste."

"We got it Terminator, now tell us how it happened!" Simmons exclaimed.

Carolina was beyond confused.

"Um... Well... It was last Halloween. At Grif and Kai's house.-" Tucker admitted.

"In my own house?!"

"Be quiet and let me finish!" Tucker snapped, slightly annoyed at this point. He was about to go off and rant of Grif, but Wash interrupted.

"He asked me when you two were arguing about Mario Kart. I said yes. And thus commence the start of us dating."

Carolina mentally screamed at Wash for not telling her. She couldn't at this moment, but she sure as hell would in the ride back... Maybe even congratulate him after.

"Aw, not fair..."

"Uh, guys, it's 12am, we're past curfew." Kai said, proud for sounding intelligent.

The group sighed, and Carolina decided to take a shortcut to get to Tucker's house before them.

Her and Wash were absolutely going to talk.

~~~~~

"So... How was the party?" Carolina asked as the car pulled out of the driveway.

"Fun. How was Kimball?" Wash smirked. Carolina blushed.

"Shut up... How was Tucker?"

He went into a coughing fit from being off guard, his face red as Carolina smirked like Wash did moments ago.

"I-I... Wh-"

"Dating a year. That's pretty cool. Congrats, Wash. Hope you don't screw this up."

"Thanks, Carolina."

"You're welcome, bro."


	50. Zambies

"No no no no no..." Grif whispered to himself as tears stung his eyes. He tried to wipe them away, but they kept coming back. After a minute or two, Grif had calmed down and gotten a hold of himself as he sat in his bright red truck, laying his head against the wheel.

"Kai... No..." Grif sobbed, trying to keep it together.

His baby sister...

... Lost to this post-apocalyptic world.

Fuck the world.

"K-Kai..." He cried again, this time curing up into a ball on the leather seat, hugging his knees to his chest.

It wasn't long before he drifted off, dangerously out in the open, and oblivious to the figure outside of his car...

~~~~~

Grif woke up with his face dry from tears, and the smell of iron from blood still in the air. He groaned, and shifted in the uncomfortable position that his car seat was in. Grif shifted around, reaching for the key ignition, only to realize that he was in the passenger seat.

Of someone else's car.

His eyes snapped open, Turing towards the person on his left. Without hesitation, he put the car in park so it couldn't crash, and his fist made contact with the man's eye.

"Ow- Shit! Grif! Stop it! God damn it!" The man screeched, holding up his forearms in self-defense.

"Who the hell are you?! How do you know my name?!" Grif yelled.

The man's arms slowly started to drop down, and Grif saw a face he hadn't seen in a long time.

"S-S... Simmons...?"

Simmons nodded, smiling, but it didn't last long as he hissed in pain from the sucker punch, covering his eye.

"Oh- Uh- Shit I'm so sorry- I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine, just give me a second..."

Grif complied, but millions of thoughts ran in his mind. He hasn't seen Simmons in three years! The apocalypse started right after their-

"Okay... First things first... Are you okay, Grif?" Simmons asked, worried.

"I'm fine."

"I... Um... Saw the b-body... I'm so sorry Grif, if I could've been there sooner-"

"It's fine. Kai's dead now..." Grif interrupted, trying to sound like he was strong.

He wasn't.

"Alright... But uh... How've you been besides... Y'know?"

"Great, actually. Haven't had an injury for the last two years, bite-free."

"Have you met any others?"

"I saw Sarge, believe it or not... The bastard. He wanted to go solo, which I understand."

"Huh... Nice to know he's still kicking..." Simmons smiled again, and from the looks of it, it didn't seem like he'd smiled in a while. Grif recalled that the last time he smiled like that was before the breakup.

It was brutal.

Grif dumped him.

All over a stupid argument.

"Hey... Simmons... I appreciate you saving my life and all, but you don't need to drag me along. If you want me to leave-"

"No, god no! You're the first person I've seen in two years who isn't dead, sick, or bitten! You're staying with me if you like it or not." Simmons said stubbornly with a hint of concern.

Grif nodded, taking a deep breath and looking around.

"Whose car is this?"

"The government's. You're currently riding in an ambulance."

"Wait- Really?! Holy- Can I climb into the back? I've always wanted to ride in one..."

"Not now. But later... Right now I'm running low of fuel."

"I know a place with a stash. Where are we?"

"Uhh... Blood Gulch Avenue."

"Sweet! You know that Freelancer repair station thingy where we used to play Pokemon cards? There's a ton of gas in there."

"Huh... I'm surprised you still remember that."

Grif smiled, shrugging.

"I don't forget a lot of things. Especially when it comes to you."


	51. Wash-Mom

Okay, Tucker, you can do this. Just go for it! Your whole future is right there, you've prepared for this you're whole life. This is what you trained yourself to do. You can do it. You will succeed.

There it was, Tucker saw his bright future shining down on him, but unknowing of what he was going to do. Tucker took a deep breath, knowing people would be proud.

Carefully, he approached this beauty, taking another breath, before reaching out, and preparing himself for what was next. There were so many things he wanted to say, wanted to yell out to this occasion, but... He couldn't think of anything.

His light bulb of majesty just stared at him, not aware of how hard this was going to be for Tucker.

Tucker tried to think of things Church said, especially to Tex, but Tucker thought he should go with a statement of his own.

This beauty was his, after all.

"BETTER DEAD THAN RED MOTHER FUCKERS!" Tucker yelled as he grabbed the flag he was 'Oh so' obsessed with. He had been a Sim Trooper playing capture the flag for all his life.

He grabbed the red flag, dangerously sliding down the slope. It took the red team a minute to process what was happening, but they eventually charged toward the aqua idiot.

"You'll never take me alive! I can't be contained! I'm Lavernius fu-"

"Tucker!" Wash hissed, dragging the other to the ground with a tug of his arm.

"Are you trying to attract attention?!"

"Nah, I'm trying to attract a mate with a matin call. Caw caw, mother-"

"Okay, first of all, you are truly in a cursing badass mood. Secondly, you are a dumbass, and shouldn't be carrying the flag. However, when you get shot, I'll just pick it up. So live and die."

Tucker frowned, literally hugging the Red team flag.

"I do what I want."

"Of course you do, Tucker, now get moving."

The two bickered like an old married couple, almost sounding like Grif and Wash for a second, but when they heard the blast of Sarge's shotgun, they had the common sense to run.

Tucker has taken the more natural route, with rocks and trees covering him from a good line of sight, but kept tripping over twigs and tree routes. After a moment, the Aqua one stopped, trying to find Wash. Did he trip and get left behind? Tucker turned around, only to be kicked in the head from above. 

Wait.

What?

"What the fu-"

Wash was hanging from a tree branch above him, acting like a human-monkey-attractive-man fusion, and shushed Tucker harshly.

"They'll hear you. Now climb up top, you won't trip as easy- hurry!"

Tucker scrambled to get to the canopy tops, trying to steady himself on the horizontal bark of the tall plant, and then he realized.

"Shit."

"What?" Wash asked, annoyed.

"No no no..."

"Um... Tucker?" Wash sounded slightly concerned.

"I-I can't d-deal with heights... Shit, god damn it..." Tucker stuttered, almost wavering a bit. Wash thought he was joking around as usual, but nearly had a heart attack when he saw Tucker stumble and start to fall back.

Wash didn't have a Spidey-sense, but he could still swoop down and catch Tucker like superheroes did in the movies.

It wasn't as romantic as you'd think.

Wash head butted Tucker on the way down, and they both landed in a pile of very uncomfortable gravel.

"Ow... Ow... My heart... Shattered..."

"You'll recover. Damn it... How's your head?"

"Fine. Not like a freaking freelancer just hit me with one."

"Very funny... What's your name?"

"What?"

"I'm making sure you didn't hit it too bad, Tucker." Wash huffed, but didn't help the other up in case he damaged something.

"Lavernius Tucker."

"Where are you?"

"A forest with evil trees."

"Okay, good... Remember the word... Um... Puma, okay? Remember the word puma. It's to make sure you can still remember things, and-"

Wash completely stopped himself when he saw blood running from Tucker's helmet.

"Oh no..."

"What? Did I not pass?" Tucker said sarcastically. He didn't know about the blood, nor did he feel any pain, which was not a good sign.

"Alright, I'm going to call Doctor Grey, you count to a hundred in the meantime."

"A hundred? But that's like... A hundred numbers... M'sleepy..." Tucker started to sway after he had sat up, and Wash was going to lay him back down, but the rocks underneath were not a good place to stay. Wash quickly and carefully had him sitting upright against a tree while trying to successfully getting a help beacon out to Doctor Grey.

"Hey, Wash?"

"Don't talk, Tucker. Just keep counting and distract yourself."

"Can I count your freckles? Man... I bet you have a lot of freckles. Hehe... Mister macho man has cute freckles."

"When you get out of this trance, I will punch you."

"Oh..." TuckerMs head dropped down, still awake, but looked like a kicked puppy.

Wash never felt so guilty about something in his life.

"Wash... Do you hate me?"

"Of course I don't, Tucker."

"Okay... Good... That's good... I'll keep that in mind."

"Keep that in mind when...?"

"For... M' dreams... Good night...-"

"No!" Wash yelled, trying to keep Tucker awake, but clearly didn't stop anything.

"Hello-o? Wash?" Grif called out, not holding his gun ready for combat. Wash assumed that the battle had stopped.

"Over here... Why aren't you guys training?"

"Well..." Grif mumbled as he stepped over the natural formations to get to Wash, "We saw a help beacon, and assumed that someone got hurt, but I think they were lying- Whoa. Is Tucker okay?" Grif asked, concerned.

"He's- I don't know. I'm the one who sent out the help beacon. I... I may have accidentally head butted him."

"Smooth moves, blondie."

"Do not call me-"

"Wash? Are you okay? I saw the weird lights on my helmet go all weird and then your picture showed up, so I assumed that you were having a mental breakdown and- Whoa, what happened to team Aqua?"

"Wash tried to kiss him but ended up using his head as a baseball bat." Grif lied bluntly, not a hint of hesitation.

"Wh-What?! Grif, I did not- ugh, whatever, I don't want to deal with you. Just... Doctor Grey, can you take him to the Med-Bay?"

"Can do! I'll tell you when he wakes up... Or if he doesn't~"

"B-But it's just a small head wound-"

"Heh, I know! It's just funny to see the depressed faces of friends and family. Anyways, catch ya later, losers!"

Wash sighed in relief as Emily left, just leaving him and the round orange.

"Hey, Wash-"

"Do not talk. I am focusing on not punching you."

"-Right, okay, heading back to base it is then."


	52. Wash-Mom: the Sequel

Tucker woke up with a pounding headache that seemed to pulse deep inside his skull. The room he was in felt strange, and he realized it wasn't his own.

The Aqua solider sat up, cursing as the pain surged even more. After sitting up completely, he looked around the room and noticed that he was in the Med-Bay.

Tucker cursed, rubbing the back of his head and swinging his legs over the table. He knew, he knew the Doctor Grey was going to yell at him for doing something completely insane, and-

"LAVERNIUS TUCKER." Emily screeched, almost as if some sort of motherly-psychotic instinct had kicked in.

Tucker panicked, and his crawly instincts told him to hide. With slight hesitation, he dove off the bed (Which hurt like hell) and slid underneath the bed beside his.

A parade of feet was heard, and the door swung open with a suspicious Doctor Grey at the door.

"Tucker. I can see your IV chords, you know that, right?"

"Aw, damn it."

Tucker sighed and shimmied himself out from under the bed, and was about to stand up when the psychopath grabbed his hand and yanked him up.

"You and I are going to have a little talk."

"Oh god, please don't psychoanalyze me!"

Emily rolled her eyes and locked the door to the patient room. She turned back around to see Tucker, her arms crossed.

The injured captain gulped, afraid of what threats were to awaken next.

"So... Tucker, I have seen amazing troops in battle. I've seen average people, and I've seen idiots. I've even seen Caboose... But damn, you must be dumber than you look."

Tucker tilted his out of confusion, and was about to say something when Doctor Grey continued.

"Remember that guy that helped train you? Remember that guy who acts like a worried mother half the time? Remember that friend that made a freaking tunnel collapse to let you live? And oh yeah... Remember the guy who's freaking in love with you?!" Emily screeched, throwing her hands up into the air. Tucker winced at her comments, each one feeling like a mental slap in the face, and sighed when she stopped talking.

"Emily, calm down, he doesn't-"

"Oh don't you dare 'Emily calm down me'! I'm calm! Completely sane but you are challenging that with an aroma of ignorance and obliviousness!" The doctor growled.

"Uh... English please?"

"You're a blind dumbass."

"Yeah, tell me sometime else that's new."

"I mean that you need to get down with the fifty-nifty-United-Washington so I can sleep at night without wanting to slap you."

"Bow Chicka- Oh god don't slap me!" Tucker yelped as she raised her hand in a threatening stance.

~~~~~

Wash was calmly eating dinner as usual, with Grif and Simmons in front of him. The two were arguing about some sort of fictional theory, making Simmons get a little mad, but Wash wasn't all that interested. As he picked his fork at the grotesque-looking Mac and Cheese, Doctor Grey came storming in, dragging Tucker by the ear.

Literally.

"Grif. Simmons. Out." She said darkly, and the two said captains scrambled to get out of there, ignoring Tucker's silent mouthed 'Help's.

Doctor Grey took a deep breath, composing herself, and looked over to Wash and smiled, acting like five seconds ago never happened.

"I think it's time that you two captains, who are acting like complete girly bitches, but the way, should have a heart to heart. You know, feelings and all those hurtful things! Just talk it out... Get rid of all teenage drama... And make me fucking happy for once. Alrighty? Good~" She cheered, dropping Tucker's ear and walking off.

~~~~~

As Doctor Grey walked out of the lunch area, she saw Grif and Simmons, who look terrified of her.

Who wouldn't be?

The two boys tried to avoid eye contact as they attempted to head back inside the room, bunch she held of her arm, making Simmons slam into it with his rib cage.

That hurt like hell.

"I don't think you should go in there for the rest of the day." Emily creepily stated, sounding strangely happy.

Grif and Simmons were left to exchange looks when she left. They thought nothing of it, and shrugged.

"Probably just some drama thing."


	53. (Forward) Until Dawn AU

Character Chart:

Matt-Grif  
Emily-Simmons  
Mike-Locus  
Jess-Felix  
Chris-Tucker  
Ashley-Wash  
Josh-York  
Sam-Carolina  
Mr. Plot device who has a flamethrower-Sarge  
Beth-Kimball  
Hannah-Doyle

~~~~~

"York? York, wake up." Kimball whispered, nudging him and trying to stir him awake from his wasted self. The two guys who were already drunk and passed out were Tucker and York, which was no surprise.

"Ugh, fine, I'll just go find Carolina then." Kimball sighed, walking over to the kitchen table to sit down. Before she grabbed York's drink, she saw a note on the table. Curiosity getting to her, Kimball flipped over the note.

Hey Doyle,  
You look good in that shirt...  
But I bet you'd look even better out of it. Come to my room at-

Kimball flipped the note back over, not really wanting to see details about what one of her brothers was doing. She looked to the other one, York, and patted his unconscious back.

"What has our naive brother gotten himself into now...?"

Nothing but a loud snore from York .

Kimball clapped him on the shoulder, about to take a drink until she saw something move from outside.

"What the hell...?"

She grabbed her jacket, about to go inform the others, but saw them all crowding by the door.

Kimball pushed past them once she saw Doyle running away, starting to guess the situation.

"What are you doing... Where is my brother going?" She asked, anger starting to rise in her time.

"Ugh, it was just a prank, guy can't take a joke." Felix scoffed, crossing his arms.

Kimball shook her head in disappointment of her friends, and ran into the forest, after Doyle.

"Do you think we should go look for him...?" Locus asked, starting to feel a bit bad.

"You know, Locus, I think that you're the last person that he'd want to see right now."

~~~~~

"Doyle?!" Kimball yelled as she found her hopeless brother curled up in the snow.

"Oh god, Kimball, I'm so... Stupid, a-and dumb and- oh no..." He sobbed, curling up more.

"Here, take my jacket... We need to get out of the storm, okay? I'll give them all a kick to the head when we get back-"

Fwoosh.

The two siblings turned around to see fire spitting from out of nowhere, sparking around wildly.

"We need to go- Now!" Kimball yelled, grabbing her brother's hand and running away from the mysterious flames.

"Stop!" Doyle yelled, yanking Kimball back, keeping her from slipping off the giant cliff ahead of them. 

"Oh no, oh no no no..." Kimball panicked, not seeing another exit as a black figure stomped its way towards them.

Doyle tried to step away, only to send both over the edge of the cliff.

Kimball still hung on, but it wouldn't last. She knew this.

The figure reached over the drop and held out its hand, offering help.

Kimball couldn't reach up with Doyle hanging by her other hand.

Should she drop him, or should she drop both of them?

There was only one correct answer...

~~One Year Later~~

"Hey guys, this is York here, and I just wanted to say that I'm so excited to get the hang back together!" York pumped his fist in the air, causing the camera to shake a bit. Carolina watched the video on her phone, heading up the mountain in a bus. It was only her on it, seeing as it was an isolated location.

To see York so happy after a year made her happy as well. Especially after the event of Kimball and Doyle's disappearance.

No one ever found the two after that night.

Carolina sighed and put up her device as the vehicle came to a stop, and entered the gates she had entered one year ago.

Carolina hiked up the hill on the way to the lodge, having to climb over natural infrastructure and snow. Once she got to the base of the ski lift, she instantly spotted Tucker's bag.

"Your bag's here, where are you...?" She muttered to herself, inspecting it. Inside the front pocket, his phone was hanging outside and buzzing.

Being snoopy, Carolina took the device and saw that the last message was from Wash.

"Tucker, you little-"

"What did I do this time?" Tucker smirked, snatching the phone from her hand. He looked at it, saw what she was looking at, and sighed.

"Are you my secretary or something?"

"More like you wing-girl. Now, why haven't you two started dating?"

"I could ask you the same question about York~" Tucker teased, earning a punch in the arm from Carolina.

"Let's just get to the top of the mountain." Carolina grumbled, trudging her way to the cable car.

"Ugh, you're so grumpy. Id be surprised if I made it with you until dawn."


	54. Until Dawn Part 2

"Man, I'm tired... Why didn't they put the lodge at the end of the ski lift?"

"To keep out intruders, I assume." Simmons stated, out of breath. Grif, however, sounded like a dying cow.

Simmons clapped Grif on the shoulder, smiling.

"Just a little farther. I promise you won't die."

"Oh, you don't know that." Grif grumbled, putting his hands in his knees to catch his breath. Simmons stopped as well, putting the luggage down in the assumption hat Grif needed a couple minutes.

After Grif cursed at everything to do with mountains and moving, he started to walk again, when Locus appeared out of nowhere, scaring the two dorks.

"W-What the hell man?!" Grif yelled, about to rip off his throat.

Simmons had learned at this point that he really hated Locus. Especially after the whole Kimball-Doyle incident.

"What, are you scared?" Locus grumbled, his deep voice making them flinch.

"Just stay out of my way, asshole." Grif muttered as he walked past him, holding Simmons' hand while doing so.

Simmons sighed, knowing it was going to be a long vacation.

Eventually, Simmons and Grif made it up to the lookout station at the lodge. The two threw down the bags, desperate for a break, when they had their second jumpscare.

"You two are really out of shape." Wash stated, making Grif and Simmons jump in the air and hug eachother in fear.

Wash rolled his eyes, and looked through the rusty telescope placed on the lookout.

"You're a piece of garbage. Not worse than Felix and Locus, but still worthy of dying." Grif lectured as he panted.

"Thanks, I really- Whoa... What...?" Wash said in shock as he stared through the looking glass.

"Who died?"

"More like who's making out. Ugh, gross..."

Grif and Simmons exchanged looks, before shoving Wash out of the way and seeing for themselves.

The telescope was old, broken, and dirty, but it still showed the clear view of Locus kissing Felix straight on the lips.

"... I'm so gonna black mail him."

"Oh, you don't hate him that much."

"I want him to die by my own bare hands."

"As much as you resemble a bear, I don't think that's possible." Wash chimed in, proud of his own pun. 

Grif and Simmons were silent for a second, processing the joke, before facepalming.

"You really need to shut your mouth." Simmons muttered, starting to pick up the bags to head into the lodge.

"When can I open it?" Wash sarcastically asked.

"When Tucker pries it open with his own mouth."

Wash's eyes widened in shock, and his surprise emotion quickly turned into anger.

"I am not dating him!"

"Yet. You're not dating him yet."

~~~~~

"Felix, what are you-" Locus' face was met with a flurry of snow, but it felt more like cold knifes.

Felix shouted a victorious 'Ha!' And dodged into cover before he could be attacked himself.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are..." Locus taunted, keeping his eyes peeled for a sarcastic teenager.

"Think fast!" Felix yelled as he pelted another ice-ball at Locus, hitting spot on.

"You little..." Locus tackled Felix, pinning him directly on the snowy ground.

"I swear, one day you are going to kill me." He deadpanned.

Felix raised an eyebrow, and grabbed a tuft of snow before smothering it on Locus' face.

"Felix: One. Tough guy: Zero."

~~~~~

"Tucker!" York cheered, hooking an arm around his neck as they walked up to the lodge.

"Man, this thing looks different from from a year ago." Tucker noted, dropping his bag off inside the lodge.

"Damn, you're right..." Carolina added, and the sighed deeply, "God, it's so good to be inside and not in some Star Wars rebel base."

"Amen." York agreed, and took notice of the fireplace.

Grif and Simmons were sitting on the couch, exhausted as hell. Tucker was sitting on the staircase, as well as Carolina and Wash.

As the group became talking happily, Felix's loud, dramatic sigh was heard as the front door opened.

"Why isn't your lodge located by an elevator?" He groaned.

"To keep it intruders... And my parents could use the exercise."

Felix sighed again, and glanced over toward the direction of Simmons and Grif.

Everyone knew that those two forms were dating, except Locus and Felix. It was for a good reason, too.

Simmons gave a death stare back, about to say something before York interrupted.

"Hey Felix, I told Locus about a small cabin up the trail earlier. Maybe you two should hang out there for a little bit."

Locus saw what York was implying, and nodded, showing Felix the exit of the house.

As the door shut, Simmons sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"That's a relief."


	55. Con Artist AU

Felix was what most would call a 'Con Artist'. That means that he could manipulate people through guilt or looks, and get what he wanted.

"My house just got robbed, can I have some money?"

"My mother just kicked my out of the house, can I have something to pay for dinner?"

"Someone just stole my bike, can I have money for a taxi?"

Not to mention that this job involved lying.

Felix kept this profit for himself. He didn't report to anyone, he didn't have a loan shark on his ass, it was just him...

And that, is a very scary thing.

He could do whatever he wanted. Felix had no limit to who he would steal from. He was a (personally) World-famous pickpocket, a sly devil with the ladies, and good with knives.

So yeah, he always got what he wanted.

One day, Felix wanted to try a new excuse for money, which for his case was hilarious. After nervously pacing around to get in character, he dash up to someone who was taking money out of his wallet.

"S-Sir, I uh... My girlfriend and I are out on a date, and I left my wallet at home. She's scary as all hell, and my apartment is just right there, can you please give me money to pay for it and I'll head right up to pay you back?" Felix asked, trying to sound as nervous as possible.

The man he had blindly run into seemed like a bad choice. Scars on his face, a death glare, and really intense eyes...

Wait what.

"You must be very desperate to come to me for help." The man stated which a deep voice.

"I-I am! Please sir... And I understand that reference." Felix smirked, still trying to stay in character with the frantic nerdy one he had started out with.

The man chuckled, and shook his head, taking out his wallet.

"I would normally not do this, seeing as you're Felix, but for the reference back, I'll tip you."

Hold up hold up hold up.

What?

"What?!" Felix snarled, completely dropping all acts, "Who... Who told you that?"

"I'm a police officer. I've heard descriptions of you. It wasn't that difficult."

Felix was debating if he should run, but This mysterious man had a foot between his feet. Oh shit, this guy knew martial arts, seeing as he was using a stance from it.

"Do you have a home, Felix?" The man asked, watching him closely.

"That's none of your business, Mister...?"

"Locus. They call me Locus."

"Well, Locus, it's been nice knowing you, but I really oughta get going. Toodles-"

Locus grabbed Felix's wrist, placing a handcuff on it, and started to walk with Felix on the makeshift leash.

"Well, you know what they say, if he has handcuffs, he has a small-"

"You have the right to remain silent, anything you do or say will be held against you..."

Felix zoned out at his little speech, kicking at small rocks and constantly tugging at the handcuffs. He hated those stupid things.

"Felix, I asked you a question."

"What is it?" Felix groaned.

"Have you eaten today?"

"Well, I was planning on paying for it with your money."

Locus just nodded, and then asked, "How do you feel about sushi?"

Felix raised his head at the sound of 'Sushi', and Locus chuckled. He turned left into a small cafe-looking place, and asked for two orders of California rolls.

Aw hell yes.

"You givin' another guy a last meal?" The woman behind the counter asked cheerfully. It made Felix extremely uneasy.

"Yes, Emily. This is Felix."

Felix waved his hands, trying to show off his new stupid trap bracelet.

The two got a table, and both ate quietly. Felix took slow bites, trying to save the fact that this might be his last normal meal.

At least his officer wasn't a complete jerk. Maybe he could ask one favor.

"Hey, Locus...? Do you mind if I use your phone? I need to say goodbye to someone..." Locus looked up with sympathy swarming around him, and gave Felix his phone.

"Go to the restroom if you want some privacy."

Felix nodded, and headed off while Locus made sure his taser was by his side. He stood up, brushing off any spare rice, and made his way to the window which connected to the bathrooms outside.

Sure enough Felix was trying to crawl out of it.

"For a famous criminal, you really are pathetic."

"I may have gained a few pounds from you sap, now will you please help me?"

Locus sighed, and hoisted the other up.

It was going to be a long day.


	56. Until Dawn Part Tres

"So... Wash... How's it hangin'?" Carolina asked. Wash raised an eyebrow, slightly suspicious, but nodded.

"I'm doing well. Why?"

"Nothing, nothing. You just really need help."

"Help? Help with what?"

"Tucker."

"Not you too!" Wash yelled, attracting the attention of Grif and Simmons.

"What are you two nerds ranting about now?" Grif asked, wanting a distraction from the previous event.

"About how Wash needs to talk about his feelings." Carolina rushed out before Wash could cover her mouth.

"Easy. Just use a pick up line. 'Hey boy, are you the Terms and Conditions, because I don't give a crap about what you have to say'." Grif said without hesitation.

Wash facepalmed as the others joined in on it as well.

"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell? Because you look like shit." York added.

"Hey dude, remember when I kissed you? Neither do I, so let's do it." Simmons sarcastically said.

"... That one is actually kinda cute." Wash mumbled, then realized what he was saying and shook his head, saying, "No. No. No. I am not doing this right now."

"Fine, but I'm only retreating because I I need to take a bath. How does the hot water work around here?" Carolina asked, looking toward York.

"Uhh, it works, but you have to turn the boiler on first. Let me get this fire going and I'll go with ya."

Carolina nodded, then suddenly paused.

"Where's Tucker?"

The group exchanged glances, shrugging. Wash spoke up:

"He said he was gonna find a Ouija board. I have no idea why."

"If he went to the basement, he's in the right place. I've got a couple games down there."

(Bow Chicka Bow Wow)

~~~~~

Once York got a fire going, Simmons found out that his bag was missing. Grif swore that Locus would've taken it, but Simmons tried to be rational. The two left the building, which left Tucker, Wash, Carolina and York.

Wash went to go find Tucker, not to secretly make up with him as York wanted.

Carolina and York headed to the boiler room, trying to set up hot water.

"Why the hell is there a baseball bat?" Carolina mused as she held up the old wooden item. York chuckled, but still had a sad look in his eyes.

"It's... It's Kimball and Doyle's... We used to play out in the snow a whole lot because when you fell, it was like a soft pillow... Man, I miss those days." 

Carolina nodded in understanding, and put the bat back.

"You know... I'm kinda glad you got everyone together. I think it's healthy to get out into nature every once in a while..."

"Thanks. I know that at least I need it."

Thump.

Carolina and York jumped as the sound rang out through the basement.

"What was... I'm going to check it out." Carolina whispered, heading down the hallway. York reluctantly followed, unsure about this.

Carolina cautiously approached the hallway, when a cloaked figure appeared, jumping out of nowhere and reaching to grab her arm.

"Run!" Carolina yelled, pushing York to force him to keep up. The two jumped over various objects on the floor, running up the stairs to get to the door. Carolina reached for the knob, turned it, but it was locked. She cursed and slammed her shoulder into the door, panicking.

"Why the hell is everything locked?!"

"To... To keep out strangers!" York yelled back, bracing himself for some sort of punishment as the cloaked figure approached them.

Laughter from underneath the hood was soon followed, but no physical beating.

"What..." Carolina tried to catch her breath, "What the hell?"

"Heh... Heyyyyyy~" the figure smirked, and took off its hood to reveal a smug-looking Tucker.

"You... You!-" Carolina could think of words to express how angry she was, while York just laughed it off.

"That. Was. Amazing."

"Were... Were you in on this shit too?!"

"No, but I wish I was!" York chuckled as he highfived Tucker.

Fucking assholes.

The group made their way upstairs, Tucker laughing hysterically the whole time. Once they made it to the top, Wash had looked to see the commotion when he spotted Tucker.

"What are you wearing?"

"I've joined the Dark side."

"Oh good, when will you be able to shut the fuck up? Because I can't wait long enough for lava to screw you over."

Carolina highfived Wash, looking as smug as ever.

"Whatever, let's get this party started!" Tucker cheered as he took out the Ouija board. Carolina rolled her eyes, and began walking upstairs.

"I'm going to take a nice bath and not look like a child, thank you very much. Don't die, have a good night." Carolina hollered from up top.


	57. Until Dawn and into piles of non-emotionally stable teenagers AU

Locus and Felix wee walking into the snow storm, Felix nagging about how winter existed the whole time and Locus trying not to slap him.

Ah, what a relationship.

With sarcastic comments in mind, the quiet one still managed to keep sanity and stated:

"The path is blocked. We should turn back."

Felix had no reply at first, but then a childish whine was heard.

"I am not going back to that cabin, can you please just find another way?"

Locus bitchfaced him, and pointed to the mountain in front of them.

"True, good point, but you're... You. Get angry and hulk out or something." Felix sasses.

Locus shook his head in dissapointment, and instead started to investigate the outskirts of the mountain. A small cave formed on the side of it with some sort of sign, so he called Felix over to see.

Felix raised an eyebrow at the unstable-looking tunnel, and sighed, saying "Why the hell do we have to do all this shit? Why can't we make the other two idiots go to their own makeout cabin?"

"Felix, we could just head back if-"

"No. I am not going back... C'mon, let's try this way- Shit!" Felix yelled as the wooden plank gave way, causing him to fall into the cloud of opaque dust below.

"Felix... Felix!" Locus yelled, trying to see through it.

"I'm... I'm here! I'm okay... I think."

"Define okay!"

"I have all five of my limbs!"

"... What's your fifth one?"

"My dick."

~~~~~

York, Wash and Tucker sat at the table in the library, looking at the Ouija board laid out in front of them.

"Guys... I don't know about this. I mean, it's probably gonna be fake anyway." Tucker stated.

"Then we can have a laugh about it later...? C'mon, I wanna see what happens!"

"Ugh, fine.... Wash, you up?"

Wash's eyes widened.

"M-Me? Um... Okay, uh... Spirits, wherever you dwell, give us a hint by ringing a bell-"

"I said summon them, not quite the haunted mansion dumbass."

"What am I supposed to do then?!"

"Take this seriously?" York said.', hinting that he actually wanted to do this. Wash took a deep breath, and composed himself.

"If there's... Um... Anyone there... Please identify yourself."

"Dang Wash, are you the police, because I've got a-"

Before Tucker could finish his crappy pick up line, the lights started to flicker, and the pointer stared to shift around.

"What the hell..." York muttered, studying the board.

"H"

"E"

"L"

"P"

"Help? What the heck..."

"Ask who it is!"

"Um... Who needs help?"

"S"

"I"

"S"

"T"

"E"

"R"

"Sister..." Wash and Tucker said in unison, looking up to see York.

York looked panicked, starting to have quickened breaths. Wash put a hand on his shoulder.

"You gonna be alright...?"

"Just... Ask whose sister it is." York requested.

"It's gotta be-"

"Please."

Wash sighed and nodded, but still carefully watched York just in case.

"Is this... Is this Kimball?"

The pointer slowly slid to 'Yes'.

The table took a moment of silence, comprehending that this was real.

That, or someone was playing a sick joke.

Wash wanted to get to the end of it.

"How... How did you die?"

"B"

"E"

"T"

"R"

"A"

"Y"

"E"

"D"

"..."

"L"

"I"

"B"

"R"

"A"

"R"

"Y"

"Who betrayed you?What's in the library? ...Kimball we are so sorry you were killed but we want to know who-"

The pointer twitched, then flung itself off the table, hurling the wooden object into the wall.

Wash yelped when it did, instinctively squeezing Tucker's hand.

York abruptly stood up, shaking his head and starting to walk away.

"York-"

"No! What-Whatever sick joke you guys are trying to pull, I'm having none of it!"

"We weren't-"

York stormed off before Wash could explain anything, and Tucker was left to reassure him.

"Don't worry Wash, he just needs some time alone... Also, if you were faking it, you were doing one hell of a job."

"I-I wasn't! The pointer flew right off the table!"

Tucker didn't seem convinced, but shrugged.

"Look, even if this is 'Fake', we should still look around in the library. I think... I think it's where she wanted us to go."


	58. DAMNsel saves the day (Knight Part 2)

Wash flopped down on his bed, rose still in hand from a month ago.

He fiddled with the flower in his palms, thinking over what had happened that knight (BA DUM TISS).

On the car ride back, Carolina was sitting in the front while York drove, leaving a lonely Wash in the back.

"Hey buddy, you okay back there? You're kinda quiet." York asked as he glanced in the rearview mirror.

"Fine... Uh... Thanks for dragging me along."

"Don't worry about it- What's that?" Carolina was now reaching in the back, pointing at the writing in the rose.

"N-Nothing."

"..."

A moment of silence fell in the car, and York pulled into a small space on the side of the rode.

"What are you-"

"GET IT!" Carolina yelled as she tackled Wash, and York got up and opened Wash's door so he couldn't escape.

"It's just his number!" Wash yelped, trying to get out of the car without them tearing his limbs off.

"His what?!" York asked in disbelief, then turned to Carolina.

"... I... I don't know if I should text him or-"

"Do it." Carolina and York said in unison, not even blinking.

"But what if-"

"Do it."

Wash sighed. He clearly wasn't allowed to say no.

The rest of the car ride, the two kept checking up on him as he hopelessly stared at the rose, like some teenage romance movie.

Wash hated the fact that they found out, but when his Aqua knight texted back, the sudden panic and worry hit him.

"He asked who I was, what do I do?" He asked frantically.

"Say you're his princess!"

"I'm not that gay-"

"Bullshit. Just say that you're Wash." Carolina mumbled.

The blond took a deep breath, and typed in a couple words.

Hey, it's the guy you have the Rose to -Wash

Oh, hey! Nice to know you texted back ;) Why is your name Wash...? -Tucker

It stands for Washington. Long story. -Wash

Ohh mysterious~ By the way, please don't tell Carolina about this. -Tucker

... Too late? -Wash

Ah, crap. Guess I'll have to come up with an excuse for Church. Speaking of excuses, mind if this poor excuse of a human takes you on a date?- Tucker

Smooth. And sure, why not...? -Wash

Nice move Wash. Now you seem like a confident person.

How about I show you around my castle? Bow Chicka Bow Wow. But seriously, I want you to check it out. Awesome date. -Tucker

I would love to see that. When? -Wash

7pm tomorrow work? -Tucker

Absolutely. Also, Carolina is giving me a weird look. Gotta go, bye! -Wash

See you later, your highness~ -Tucker

"Your highness?" Wash said aloud on accident, and covered his mouth as he blurted it out.

"Oh my god, did he say that to you?" Carolina laughed, trying to grab his phone to see.

"Um- I- Shut up." He stuttered, keeping his phone out of Carolina's reach.

After that, Wash got dropped off at his apartment, where he flopped down on the bed and smiled as he looked at the Rose.

~~~~~

That memory was so clear to him, almost as if it was yesterday.

When actually, it was over a year ago.

Wash and Tucker started dating a couple weeks after he got his number, and now Wash served as a Hawk tamer at the same castle.

Weird, huh?

Wash liked the Owls the most, and named them all after the Greek alphabet. Epsilon, Delta, Theta (who was the cutest), Omega... But he doesn't like Omega very much.

After every show in the break room, Wash would tell Tucker how awesome he was, Tucker would complain about bruises, and Church would jokingly yell gay whenever they held hands.

However, one night wasn't so cheerful.

It was ten pm, thirty minutes after their last show, when Tucker and Wash decided to head home for the night. They were heading to the car when bam, Tucker was hit across the head with some sort of pole.

Wash turned around, and out of instinct, he managed to grab the object. He swung it at the mysterious criminal, and thwacked his back.

It didn't make him bleed, but it sure as hell knocked him out.

Wash panicked, and leaned down next to Tucker, trying to see if he was breathing when the stupid idiot started laughing.

"Damn Wash, maybe you should be one of the moonstar tamers instead."

"Shut up, I'm trying to see if you're okay-"

"It's fine, he just hit my shoulder. Nice arm, Princess."

Tucker had the most shit eating grin.

Wash sighed, helping him up and calling 9-1-1 soon after.

Needless to say, every knight needs his princess.


	59. Apple Store AU

Simmons sighed for the fifty-seventh time that day as he set up the cashier. He worked at what was known as a Genius Bar to workers, but an Apple Store to rich idiots.

Simmons hated people who came up, basically knowing nothing about technology, when all they had to do was turn it off and back on again.

It sucked.

There have been many times where Simmons had to go into the storage room to scream at a pillow, and this was absolutely one of those days.

He just started cashier duty, and was waiting for some snob to ask him how to update their phone.

"Hey, you okay?" A costumer asked, looking at Simmons with a raised eyebrow.

The costumer looked overweight, Hawaiian, and was holding what looked the remains of an iPhone 3.

"Wh- I'm fine, how can I help you?" Simmons asked, snapping out of his trance and going into robot-mode.

"I just need to buy a new phone... But seriously, you ok?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Cause you've got a nose bleed." The Hawaiian said seriously, pointing to his nose for extra measure.

Simmons felt the blood, cursed silently, and got out a tissue.

"I'll be fine, and thanks for telling me. What type of phone do you want?"

"Uh... Which one is the most frequently ordered?"

Simmons could see that the guy wasn't trying to be an idiot, but that was a shame, because he was acting like one.

"The sixth generation."

The man deadpanned, turning towards Simmons with a bitchface.

"I was being sarcastic." He stated.

Simmons sighed, punching the bridge of his nose, saying "Sorry, I haven't exactly been alive today."

Grif waved his hand carelessly, gesturing that it was fine. "Your boss a pain?"

"Yeah, he nearly ran over some new staff member with his jeep the other day... Poor guy."

"Yeah, I know. I was that guy." The man causally confessed.

Simmons had to do a double take, and tilted his head.

"Why the hell are you buying a new phone now?"

"You said so yourself, our boss is a dick."

Simmons nodded in agreement, getting out an iPhone 6 so this poor soul could move on with his day.

"Alright, since you're a new employee this is completely free, but I need to have your name mister...?"

"Grif. Dexter Grif."

Simmons chuckled, and Grif looked slightly offended.

"I'm not laughing at your name. But the way you presented it made you sound like a villain in a James Bond movie."

Grif hesitated for a second, before accepting Simmons' statement. As the dorm rung up his phone on the cash register, he started to get bored.

He whistled, he gave death glares to small children, looked around the store, and then his eyes laid upon him.

"Oh shit. Hide me."

"What?" Simmons asked, pushing up his glasses.

"Sarge is here, hide me right now."

Simmons saw the angry old man start to make his way to the front, and Simmons quickly grabbed Grif's arm. He pulled him around the check out desk, shoving him inside the storage closet.

How ironic.

"G-Good morning sir! Welcome back!" Simmons choked out, his voice cracking a bit out of fear. Sarge raised an eyebrow, but only grumbled and shoved his way past him.

Once the door shut behind him, Simmons let out a sigh of relief and Grif shimmied his way or of the closet.

(Bow Chicka Bow Wow)

"That's the most rebellious thing I've ever done." Simmons said, panting.

(Bow Chicka Bow Wow x2)

Grif nodded, clapping a hand on his shoulder, and nodded.

"Thanks dude, I owe you one. When does your shift end?" Grif asked.

Simmons squinted and pushed up his glasses, doing the weird anime glare thing.

"I'm not a murderer I swear." Grif pleaded with sarcasm.

Simmons kept his glare while Grif pouted. Eventually he gave up, and that let Simmons continue to pack up his phone and send him on his merry way.

Walking out of the store, Grif was defeated that he couldn't even successfully flirt with Simmons. He seemed dorky, yeah, but anyone who helps you hide from your boss is considered a saint.

He sighed, getting out his new phone as he sat down in the car. Grif was about to open the seal on the box, when messy writing was found on the side of it.

This is only because you're not a complete dick.

555-VICK

Grif smirked to himself, doing a fist pump in the air, and sung along to all the songs the radio had to play on the way home.

Grif was pretty proud of himself.


	60. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT

Tucker got home from a long ass trip from wherever the hell he was. Tucker hated his job, so he didn't really talk about it much. The only thing he was looking forward to was Wash:

Ten hours of not moving and cuddling would be preferred.

He sighed as he unlocked the door, putting his stupid formal suitcase on the floor, before he saw the atrocity laid upon him.

Pillows were strewn across the floor, chairs tiled over and even a shattered picture frame. The couch was upside down, legs of it stabbing into the plaster of their wall.

Tucker's first assumption was a robbery, so he attempted to be as quiet as possible. He maneuvered his way from the windows, having to step over glass and a couch cushion.

"Wash...?" He whispered, really only himself able to hear. He knew it was a stupid move, but the priority was making sure that Wash wasn't hurt.

"Wash?" Tucker called a bit louder, then a thump was heard upstairs.

He dashed to the stairs, heading up as quietly as possible.

"Wa-" Tucker was silenced with a huge weight collapsing in his chest, making him confused as hell. Before he could beat the intruder off of him, the man quietly yelped out:

"Tucker! It's me, Wash!"

Tucker refrained from punching him in the face, but instead turned around to hug Wash tightly. Wash hesitated, a by confused, but hugged back.

"Wash, what's going on? Did we get robbed or something? Are you hurt?!"

Wash pulled back when Tucker asked him the question. He nervously rubbed the back of his head, clearly not wanting to tell.

Tucker just frowned, and embraced Wash again until he would confess.

After about a minute, Wash took a deep breath, and said:

"There's... There's a spider."

The amount of bitchface radiating from Tucker's face might as well make him look like the sun.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me-"

"It's the size of my palm! Just- please kill it?" Wash pleaded. Tucker thought he was kidding at first, but then he took a look at his spouse.

Hugging himself out of fear, eyes red from stress, and a clear bruise from what seemed like ramming into the coffee table.

Tucker sighed, taking off his shoe and holding Wash's shaking hand.

"Where?"

"The kitchen..."

Tucker walked out of the room, still holding the blond's hand as he shuffled out behind him. Once they made it to the kitchen, Wash started to shake again.

"You know, Wash, when we stared dating and I asked if there was anything I should know, I think being scared shitless from spiders counts."

"They're creepy. Okay?! Moving around with their legs all- Ugh!"

"You sound like Sarge when he's talking about babies."

"Can you please just smash that fucking thing into a million pieces?"

Tucker sighed, grip tightening on the slipper.

"When I find it, you're cleaning this up."

Wash nodded quickly, clearly just wanting the arachnid to be dead. Tucker casually walked around the house as Wash coiled around the other, as if the spider were some mass murderer.

After what seemed like half an hour, Wash yelped and hopped up on the table of the kitchen.

"What the hell-"

"There! There! It's over there!" Wash whined, pointing towards a black creature on the floor.

Tucker shrugged, showing off his signature smirk and smacked the spider with his shoe.

But that smirk didn't last for long.

You see, this spider was female.

And pregnant.

So she started to multiply.

Dozens upon dozens of tiny baby spiders started to crawl onto the kitchen floor, making Wash feel lightheaded. They looked like a black mass slowly taking over the house reaching the walls and table legs.

It even terrified Tucker.

However, Tucker went into action instantly, grabbing the blond and placing him safety outside the house.

Tucker got out his phone, called an exterminator, and plopped down next to Wash.

"I'm not gonna sleep for a week, Wash."

"I'm not gonna sleep."

"A thank you would've been nice."

"They started multiplying all over the- oh god, I'm gonna be sick."

"I would say man up, but-"

"Tell anyone about this, and I will end you."

Tucker laughed, shaking his head while doing so, and slung an arm around Wash's shoulders.

"Don't worry Wash, I'll keep you safe."


	61. Sarge's PSA

Sarge was done with this... This subordinate being 'pampered'.

His best solider and his worst? Together? In a relationship?

It's not that sarge minded the gender, but he cringed at the thought of Simmons being polluted with Grif's stupidity.

But in a way... It was kinda cute.

They would bicker over something, eventually not agree, but instead tolerate eachother. One would refuse to do the dishes, but instead was forced to stand next to the one that was. The orange solider would eat all the Oreos, and would have to run and keep up with the Maroon one later that day. 

Sarge found it... Amusing.

Simmons was always an obeyer, no doubt, and Grif wasn't exactly a rebel, but lazy sounds like a better word.

How the hell did they end up dating?

He had no earthly idea.

So one day, when Donut started to vent about how he wish he had a family, Sarge took the moment to shine.

"You guys are the closest to children I'll ever get." He mumbled.

"Ha! Don't expect any grandkids then." Simmons joked.

Sarge squinted at him, similar to an evil eye, then gestured to him and Grif.

"What about you two? You gonna adopt soon?"

Silence.

No words could explain how awkward it was.

Grif and Simmons glanced at eachother, then looked back at Sarge.

"We... We're not-"

"Yeah, we aren't-"

Sarge started to laughed before the two stuttering boys could finish their sentence, and slapped his knee.

"You two are more in love than I am with my shotgun! Don't try and lie to me, I saw you kiss once!"

Simmons' face went red, and heck, even Grif had a blush.

"I ate the last slice of pie and he tried to get it back!" Simmons defended.

"Y-Yeah! That wasn't a kiss! That was... I... I actually don't know how to defend myself."

"Yeah, Grif," Donut joined in, "That was a completely heterosexual thing to do."

Grif glared at Donut while Simmons was still shocked from Sarge's statement. Donut just laughed, and skipped out of the room with invisible rainbows trailing behind him.

Sarge had grabbed a beer, and was now crossing his legs, waiting for an explanation. In a way, he was like a father who had caught two children sneaking out at night.

"Look here, dirtbags-"

"Oh no," Grif complained, throwing his head back, "He's gonna do a speech again."

"Shut up and pay attention, it could be important." Simmons muttered.

"You know what else is important? Naps, Simmons. Naps are-"

"Are you two girls gonna keep talkin'?" Sarge said gruffly.

Simmons nodded, and Grif sighed before doing the same.

"Look... I don't care if you've got more pink in your ass than Donut in his Cop costume. What I do care about is if you two dirtbags keep runnin' around eachother like it's a race. So either get together, or shut your filthy, traitor mouths."

Grif and Simmons were shocked once again, leaving themselves speechless. Many different things to say we're going on in their heads, but neither wanted to speak first.

Grif was constantly trying to defend himself, but honestly... Who the hell cared?

Simmons knew he was avoiding the huge elephant in the room, but what if he didn't.

All it took was a lousy Sargent to set them straight (not exactly) and get them to talk to eachother.

But they were still silent.

Sarge sighed, and stood up, now face-to-face with the boys.

"Look here... I've never lost anything. Ever. So if you think you'll be avoiding eachother once again and on your Merry way, you'll regret it."

Sarge huffed, and turned in his heel to leave. However, there was a split second.

A moment of victory.

Right before the door closed, he swore he could see a maroon and orange solider hugging.

Sarge smirked to himself as he sat in his huge chair, decorated by all his awards and trophies. They all seemed useful until now. They were selfish, all for himself and no one else.

But he got to change two lives into something more on this day.

Sarge would easily call that one hell of an award.

Not bad, Sargent, not bad...


	62. Haunted AU

Doc was not a fan of Supernatural stories and movies. Donut tried to get him to watch a show called Supernatural at one point, but there was too much blood, gore, and scary aspects to it.

Doc was more of a... Housewives type.

He never liked to admit it, but it was better than some of the other horrible things he would see on TV.

But out of the whole entire season he watched of the show with ghosts and hunters, he picked up a couple things that he swore he would never use.

Now was one of those times where he would have to break that promise.

He had just gotten a new apartment on Blood Gulch Avenue, a nice place with weirdly colored apartments, and there was a noise.

It sounded like music at first, but it eventually got to the point where there was a rhythmic booming against his walls.

It. Was. Terrifying.

Doc has tried to convince himself that it was just stress, and that he would try and do some yoga to calm himself down, but it's was just so loud.

However, that wasn't the worst of it.

After about an hour of scary noises, he heard screaming.

Loud, scratchy voices that seemed to etch its way into his head.

After three nights, Doc was sick of it.

He grabbed his pillow, locked the door behind him, and went to the door next to him.

He hesitated, but knocked on the door.

Out came a woman with purple hair and gloves covered with a liquid-red substance.

"Is... Is that...?" Doc stuttered, automatically assuming that it was blood.

"Wh... Oh, this! Don't worry, it not mine!" The woman said cheerfully, taking off her gloves and hiding them behind her back.

"Hello, my name's Emily Grey, how may I help you at-" She checked her watch, "-Three in the morning?"

Doc hesitated before speaking, but eventually regained himself.

"Uh... I'm not a crazy person, I swear, but I think my house is haunted..."

"Oh, don't worry, you're not crazy! So many people have died in this apartment, I hear voices all the time!"

Doc raised an eyebrow, not believing what was being thrown at him.

Dead people? Voices? Bloody gloves?

"On second thought, I'll just... Um...  
I'll go back to my room. It was nice meeting you, I guess...?"

"Oh, anytime dearie! Have s good night!" She said happily, and closed the door.

After a second, Doc released the breath that he was holding, and dashed back to his room.

Nice to know that his neighbor is a psycho-killer.

~~~~~

The next night was even worse, if that was even remotely possible. It was around five when Doc started to hear the screaming get progressively louder, and he couldn't stand it. Instead of going to his crazy neighbor, he was planning on calling Donut.

Doc grabbed his stuff walked into the hall once again, pulling out his phone.

However, as he did, he noticed that there was a source to the screaming.

It was from his neighbor's room.

Doc slowly edged his way toward the door, about to call out to whoever was in there, when the woman from before opened the door.

"Oh... Hello! I thought I heard someone out here!" She smiled, folding her hands together, but Doc heard the... Whatever genre of music coming from inside.

"Wait... So that music is why I'm hearing screams?"

"What, my speakers? Probably. The last guy who complained about it didn't complain for long, though." She kept the same statue-like smile.

"W-Well, Uh that's... Nice? I'm just going to... Go to sleep now. I at least know that I'm not crazy."

"Oh, don't worry silly!" Emily beamed, "I'm crazy all the time, but I still can function!"

Doc decided that he'd had enough of this lady for one lifetime.

"Uh... Okay Miss Grey, have a good night!"

"You too, Doc!" She hollered, and then shut her door.

Doc sighed as he trudged back to his room, at some peace now that he knew he wasn't surrounded by spirits.

He snuggled up into his blankets, holding his pillow tight and falling into a nice, blissful sleep.

After a minute or two, his eyes flew open, and he sat upright on his bed in freight.

"... How did she know my name?"


	63. Science Lab AU

Carolina sat in her AP Chemistry class, bored as all hell with the substitute for today.

"Hello shitheads, my name is Church. No, I am not related to your actual teacher. He said you guys were working on a lab, so... Go crazy."

Carolina sighed and trudged herself to the lab table, knowing that she'd have to put up with another day of teens trying to crack one too many jokes. She set up the lab, being careful of chemicals and sharp tools. While doing so, someone stood in front of the table.

The redhead looked up to see a kind-looking girl in a hijab, who gave a small smile.

"Hello, I'm new and I don't exactly have a partner..."

Carolina would've yanked her over o the lab station if she didn't look so shy.

"Please, please be my partner. I can't put up with any more dick jokes." Carolina pleaded.

The girl laughed, and nodded her head, helping the other set up lab equipment.

"So... What is your name?"

"Carolina. You?"

"Kimball... Nice to meet you, Carolina."

~~~~~

After that small, slightly abrupt introduction, the two became friends who happened to be lab partners, and not vise-versa.

Kimball and Carolina got consecutive A's on all their lab reports, making the teacher quite impressed.

He was so impressed, that she asked the two to talk to the new students that day.

"I think that I would find it helpful if you two were to help the new students." The 'other' Dr. Church declared in his accent. Carolina and Kimball exchanged looks, not sure if that was a brilliant idea.

"What exactly do you want us to do...?"

"I have a substitute tomorrow who doesn't know a thing about science, so if you came in during your lunch period, it would be greatly appreciated if you set up the equipment."

"But-"

"It's worth extra credit."

"Deal."

~~~~~

The two girls did as they were told, and came to the classroom the next day. The man sitting in the desk looked rather gruff, and was reading a robotics assembly guide. Once he saw Kimball and Carolina, he gave a smile and say up to shake their hands.

"The name's Sarge. I'm guessing you two are helpin' set up the lab?"

"Yes... Sir?" Kimball said warily. The man nodded, and sat back down on his chair while the pair moved to the back of the room to get supplies.

"He seems... Edgy."

"He looks like some sort of war hero, don't you think?" Carolina whispered, trying not to let the man hear him.

Kimball glanced over Carolina's shoulder to get another look at him, and then nodded in agreement. The two chuckled as they began setting up containers.

After about thirty minutes, Carolina held up an odd clear substance in an odd container.

"Huh... He didn't label it... What do you think it is?"

Kimball eyed the mysterious liquid, but shrugged. Carolina did as well and put it back, not paying any attention to it.

After all the supplies had been set up, there had been an item missing, which was narrowed down to the odd vial from earlier. Kimball picked it up, trying to find any clues, but none were found with just an image.

Carolina was a pretty smart person, but it fascinates her whenever Kimball goes into full-on scientist mode. Even with the shadow cast upon her eyes, she could see the true person at work. It was almost like-

"Ladies!" Sarge yelled unexpectedly, scaring the two girls.

Kimball had jumped, causing the contain to slip out of her hands and lay upside-down on the table. The pair checked themselves to make sure that it didn't touch them, but came to a freezing halt when they stared at the table.

The table was melting.

Kimball rushed to the cabinets, trying to find some sort of solution to stop the room from turing into lava, but the table's center had already started to collapse. Carolina had stepped back from the table, trying to get all the supplies off of it and out of harm's way.

At that moment, the door squeaked open as he walked in.

Dr. Church was not impressed.

"What is going on here?" He growled, examining the table's reaction.

"I-I- You didn't label it- and- and-"

"That would be my fault, Mister, I was the one who spooked 'em a bit." Sarge admitted, feeling bad for the girls.

The Director sighed, and waved his hand, signaling for Carolina and Kimball to leave.

~~~~~

"Kimball, don't ever, ever, get scared again."

"That's a lot to ask of me, Carolina."

"I'm serious. I'm going to get so much trouble for this..."

"Hey, Carolina?"

"What?"

"Do we still get extra credit?"


	64. Lend me a hand...?

Back in the old days where Grif and Simmons would be in a box canyon in the middle of nowhere, a tragic accident happened.

Neither of te two liked to talk about the whole 'Cyborg and human cookie dough' situation.

Simmons had his robotic prosthetics, and Grif had... Well, just bits and pieces of Simmons' extra organs... Skin... Blood...

You know. Extra.

Once the pair had gotten used to their 'Improved bodies', things started o get less awkward, and they were back to bickering like a married couple.

"Grif, those are my fucking hands, you're washing them before you eat, damn it!"

"Simmons, do I look like Wall-E?"

"No, you look like a slob!"

"Exactly. So don't get your hopes up."

"Oh my god, don't you ever do something?"

"You're mistaking me for someone who-"

"You know what, forget it."

"Please. You have the memory of a girl in a relationship. You remember everything!"

"Right. But I'll just forget about it now and make you pay later."

These lovely bits of dialogue are one of many arguments that happen at red base, but it's grown into routine. Grif would dance around problems while Simmons chased after, like the animatronics at Pirates of the Caribbean.

It was a system that kept the two from spiraling into insanity, anger, and cabin fever from the Shinning. But as always, it doesn't always work.

There has been times where Simmons had completely lost all hope, curling up into a ball and staring at the inhuman thing that attached onto his body.

As a kid, he always thought Cyborg was the coolest guy in Teen Titans.

Now, he sees that maybe he was unappreciative of how difficult it was for a back story like that.

~Fast forward to present day where people are dead~

"MEN, FRONT AND CENTER, NOW!" Grif screeched, causing urgency to spread among the lieutenants. Jensen, Palomo, Bitters, and Smith all rushed to the captain, wondering what crisis happened now.

"Good morning captain-"

"OH- OH HELL NO, YOU CAN'T SWEET TALK ME TODAY, SMITH! I'VE GOT A REAL FUCKING PROBLEM!"

The troops took a step back, as if the distance would protect them. Grif kept a death glare, and raised his arm behind him to point to a pole on the roof of the war room.

"Jensen: What do you see up there?"

"U-Um... A pole?"

"Uh huh. Look closer."

"It's- Is that a bunch of-"

"YES! ALL OF MY COMIC BOOKS ARE STACKED UP THERE, STABBED THROUGH THE CENTER!" Grif yelled, throwing his hands up for emphasis. The troops were scared shitless at this time, trying to find a way to calm their captain down.

Before any of them could say words of comfort, Simmons had stepped in between the two groups.

"What's going on here?!" He shouted, causing everyone to stop and look at him.

"Someone-... Someone destroyed all my comic books..."

Simmons gave him a bitch face, and then waved his hand to signal for the troops to leave. He waited until they were out if sight to full on slap Grif's visor.

"Dumbass." He mumbled, crossing his arms while doing so.

"But-But Simmons!" Grif whined, trying to get some sort of help.

"Ugh, fine, I'll help you get them down, but I'm not going to feel sorry for you."

~~~~~

Grif was on top of a ladder, which Simmons was supporting on the bottom. The orange captain felt around for his previous collections of paper, placing them all into a box on the ground. When it came to the last couple of volumes, he realized that it was impossible to reach.

"Hey Simmons, mind giving me a hand here?" Grif called, hoping that the genius had something in mind.

Silence arrived from the ground, making Grif sigh with impatience.

"Simmons, I need-"

Smack.

It took Grif a couple of seconds to react. At first, he thought that he had been hit, but that's not possible with Simmons on the ground.

He was hit with his arm.

His cyborg arm.

"SIMMONS, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!"

"JUST GET DOWN! YOU'VE GOTTEN ENOUGH OF THEM ALREADY!"

"NO-NO- WE ARE TALKING ABIUT THIS. DID YOU JUST TAKE YOUR ARM OFF TO PROVE A POINT AND A PUN?"

"Ugh, for- FOR GOD'S SAKE, GET OFF THE DAMN LADDER!"

Grif had turned to look down at his disarmed (PUN=WORTH IT) attacker, only to realize that he didn't have any ladder rungs.

The overweight, lazy orange solider's mass came crashing down on the maroon one, causing them both tremendous amounts of pain.

The pair sat there for a minute or two, thinking about what the hell just happened.

Neither of them really knew, but there was one thing for certain:

The lieutenants got a new video recorded on their phones that day.


	65. Quick- Stop that thief!

Palomo had never run so fast in his life.

He hoped over the bench by the sidewalk, chasing the seen criminal into the street. He dodged cars, bikes, some really old woman who yelled at him once, and almost tripped over a literal banana peel.

Please let this be a god damn dream.

The protagonist leap from the sidewalk and over the gate to the alley that the thief had somehow squeezed through, and was now using the so-called 'Serpentine' running method. Palomo shifted his weight from foot to foot to keep up, but this guy must have been an athlete of sorts. Finally seeing a dead end, Palomo knew that the culprit would be trapped in from of the local apartments. He edged closer to the now frozen criminal, and was about to-

"What are you doing to my cat?" Jensen asked, raising an eyebrow at the current situation.

Palomo has currently outstretched his hands, about to strangle a thief... Which happened to be 'Fluffy the housecat', a feline that was holding his wallet in its mouth.

"Wait, this is your cat?!" Palomo questioned, a bit still out of breath.

Jensen hesitated, but nodded as she leaned down to pick up the demonic creature. She tugged the piece of leather out of its mouth and handed it back to the victim.

"Oh, my poor little Fluffles, why did you do that?" Jensen pouted, making the stereotypical female baby-voice.

"Because he's evil, that's why!" Palomo complained, now resorting to placing his hands in his knees to keep him standing. Jensen was about to accuse him of lies, but got curious, and asked why he was so out of breath.

Palomo held up a finger, symbolizing to give him a second, then recomposed a somewhat normal stance with heavy breathing.

"I was... Chasing your cat halfway across town..."

Jensen looked at Palomo, then back to the overweight cat in her hands.

"Are you sure?"

"Wh- Yes, I'm sure!"

Jensen rolled her eyes, but believing his mythological tale, but still felt guilty and invited him inside to take a rest.

Once settled inside, Palomo was already familiar with the place. Him and Jensen were two needles in a haystack, together since- wait, is that the right saying? Palomo shook his head, tiredness getting way too into his head.

He plopped down on the couch, catching his breath and sanity.

Meanwhile, Jensen was setting up a nice, comfy bed for Fluffy and two steaming cups of tea.

She walked back into the room with what seemed like her soon to be comatose-patient, and set down the refreshment.

Palomo nodded in a silent thanks, and took a sip become he felt uttermost regret.

The tea tasted horrible.

Palomo hadn't even had tea before! What the hell was he thinking.

Before Palomo rage quit on his day, he thought about what he had done so far.

He chased a cat down the street/town, embarrassed himself horribly, and now had horrible-tasting scalding hot tea in his mouth.

Well fuck.

C'mon Palomo, don't make a third strike, don't be that guy today!

Jensen smiled, full on innocence and unknowing of the pure torture happening to Palomo.

Of course, the awkward male dork have a thumbs up, which was really to hide the tears in the corners o his eyes from liquified satan burning on his fucking tongue oh Christ oh Christ oh Christ.

Once Jensen had looked away for a brief second, Palomo spit all of the cursed tea back into the cup.

He would never be able to know if that was brave or absolutely disgusting.

Jensen turned back around, asked if he was okay and all, and he nodded.

Before the next wild cat chase, he decided to enjoy not drinking horrible British lava, but to listen to Jensen rant about how risky it is for cats to be on te street.

Today was exciting and boring, in foresight, but Palomo saw differently.

He got to chase a cat, face the heat and talk to his best friend.

So why the hell not relax?

Palomo sat back, now listening to dysfunctional stoplight, and willingly listened, enjoying the peace.

That is, until he felt his pocket.

"... Where's my wallet?"


	66. Tuckington Trash

Wash was a very reserved individual with little to no toleration for idiots. When he was stuck with the Blues and Reds, he would've honestly been beaten to death by Carolina.

It's not everyday where they're all asleep, no noises, no late night snacks, nothing.

Wash is usually the one to use this to his very own selfish advantage.

The Ex-Freelancer did a bit of reading done, studied up on a few skills, worked out without lieutenants constantly bothering him, and just... Sat there at times. Most people would call it odd, some would call it unnaturally introverted.

Wash didn't care; he liked it.

Being able to actually think without hearing a voice that he's been stuck with for years was a heavenly relief, and he wasn't one to give up the things that he easily.

And thus causes this current conflict.

However, before I can explain it to you, let's start with the setup.

Tucker was known to be a loud snore-fest. Every single night, Wash could hear every snort and breath between the horrible quality walls, and that's what started his routine of becoming a night owl. After exactly 4:57am, Wash started to pick up on the fact that when the clock struck neigh, the snorting would stop.

Exactly at that time.

Wash didn't know why, probably didn't want to know why, and most likely didn't care why. It was just nice to have a break.

At least, his thoughts were here until he stayed past his normal quiet time.

He was currently reading Sphere AWESOME BOOK YES) when he walked in.

Tucker had his baggy-shirt-and-boxer PJs on, and had his head down as he stumbled his way to the kitchen.

"Tucker, what the hell are you doing?" Wash asked as he got up to follow him.

No response.

"C'mon, you can be up right now. Don't you have a meeting with Kimball tomorrow?"

Not any sign of life besides breathing and standing.

Wash sighed and was about to raise his voice when he realized that Tucker would never go out in public wearing something besides armor and something publicly appropriate for a flirt.

He was sleepwalking.

Now, Wash didn't know much on the subject, but he has learned a couple things.

1: I don't think you're supposed to walks them up?

2: Try walking them back to their bed.

3: Don't let them fall just because you're trying to take a blackmail picture.

"Tucker, why don't you go to bed, okay?" Wash whispered.

Tucker didn't seem like he was in any form to respond, to his surprise, he nodded.

Wash didn't really know how to guide him, so he grabbed his hand and began leading him down the hall like a blind wagon.

Not hand-holding.

It's completely straight.

I think.

Wash lead him to his dorm, and found the key stuck in the crack between the door and the wall.

How convenient.

Wash opened the door, throwing the drunk-like figure in, and made sure he was laying on his stomach.

Wash gave a self-five to the best person ever, because he was successful as all hell.

Take that Carolina.

~Next morning for awkward cockatiels. Yes, cockatiels. Not lovebirds. Lovebirds are actually 70% evil and 30% feathers~

Tucker stumbled into the kitchen that morning with so many bag under his eyes that he looked like something out of Beetlejuice. Wash looked up to see him try and work the coffee machine, and chuckled when he missed putting the materials into the right compartments.

"Having some trouble there, Tucker?"

"Screw off blondie." Tucker grumbled, acting like what most resembled a toddler. Wash nodded, and continued to drink from his horrible, unwanted breakfast.

"On a more serious note, do you need more sleep? I can give you today off, but that's only if you do nothing but sleep-"

Tucker had never gotten down on his knees faster in his life.

Bow Chicka Bow Wow intended.

"I WILL PAY YOU MY SOUL IF YOU LET ME SLEEP PLEASE LET ME LIVE OH MY GOD PLEASE!"

The cat-man paused, thinking about it, and then laughing so hard that tears streamed down his face. Tucker took it as a huge sign of relief, and place his head in the floor with happiness.

Finally, Tucker had gotten a day off. Finally, Tucker had gotten to see the hidden smile of David Washington.

The Captain jumped up to hug Washington, only to have a pat on the back.

"I'm kidding. You're going ten extra laps."


	67. A/N

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I rant about how awesome you guys are pretty much

Thank you all SO much for the kudos and Comments!

It's really awesome to see the support for this little-... whatever it is. I honestly don't know at this point.

This is short, I know, but why not fill in the space with a couple thanks?

Thank you, fellow reader!

IN RETURN, I'LL... um... give you a pointless list of horror movies.

Yes, Halloween is coming. Perfect idea! Here's a list in no particular order of movies to watch near Halloween for those who don't obsess over horror like myself:

Shaun of the Dead  
Scream 1-4  
The Ring  
Beetlejuice  
Saw movies  
Woman in Black  
Devil  
Cabin in the Woods  
Tucker and Dale vs Evil  
A couple SPN episodes  
A couple Psych finale of season episodes  
Paranormal Activity  
SCOOBY DOOOOOOO  
The Host (Only in Korean)

~Classic horror for the dedicated:

Halloween  
Friday the 13th  
The Shinning  
The thing  
It  
Nightmare on Elm street  
Texas chainsaw massacre  
Beetlejuice(in both places because it can still be considered relatable to modern thingies)  
Signs  
Alien  
Seven  
Poltergeist   
Blair Witch Project (Mr Sark I love you)

Have a fun lifetime until I update again and thank you for all the support!


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